Camp R
by sonicXben
Summary: Why couldn't Ruby Rose have listened to Weiss's warnings? Now Ruby has no choice but to make her way through the strange, alien world known as...Camp Campbell. Not to mention trying to make it back home without losing her sanity to the bizarre adventures she shares with her new friends. What could possibly go wrong? Rated M to be safe.
1. Pilot

**Ruby Rose's POV:**

* * *

I stretch out my arms behind me and let out a long yawn.

Right now, I am walking back towards the cliff that overlooks the Emerald Forest where my Initiation took place several months ago, reflecting on everything that has happened since I have become a student here at Beacon. I am now the leader of the team my big sis is a part of, along with my new friends Weiss and a Faunus by the name of Blake. Just because she's a Faunus doesn't mean I hate her like many other jerks on Remnant do. Together we make team RWBY and when we truly learn how to work together, we will be the greatest team of huntresses the world has ever seen!

Today, we took our final tests and have finished our first semester. Tomorrow, we all have a choice of either going home or staying at Beacon for the winter break. So, before I go back home with Yang, who is the best sister ever, I decided to get out of the stuffy Academy uniforms and the endless hours of studying for my classes, and just go to the Emerald Forest to beat up some Grimm.

When I finish walking towards the edge of the cliff, I reach towards the slot of the back of my ammo belt and pull out the special Dust crystal Weiss had. The purple crystal glowed slightly in my hands as I examine it without Weiss breathing down my neck and shouting about boring safety procedures. As I look at the crystal, I recall the conversation I was part of hours before, about an hour after the last test for this semester was finished…

* * *

 _Past Time!_

* * *

"And whatever you do, don't touch this crystal!" Weiss shouts, shaking the deep purple Dust inside a silver vial in her hand. She had pulled it out of a box that she was given after the White Fang tried to rob the Schnee Dust Company a few days ago.

"Whoa, Ice Queen. I would tell you to chill, but you should already know how to do that." Yang replies, lying on her side in her bunk.

"I'm serious, Yang. This is a piece of experimental Dust. My father sent this to me when I told him that I would not be coming home since it's so far away and he asked me to experiment on its properties. And don't call me Ice Queen." Weiss retorts bluntly, looking down at the crystal. I raise an eyebrow at hearing her explanation; judging by how uptight she's acting, there's more to the story than just 'being too far away from home.'

"Well, then you better hope to get down and _dust_ -y." Yang answers, grinning at Weiss's and Blake's groan of annoyance.

* * *

 _Present Time!_

* * *

So now, while Weiss is sleeping, I will figure out how it works in a fight so we can truly be the best friends ever.

A sudden screech of a Grimm pulls my attention away from the smooth, diamond-shaped Dust crystal and look to the sky. My heart sinks when I see that a Nevermore, even larger than the one I fought with my friends at the Initiation. I start charging up my Aura as I begin putting the crystal in my pocket. I freeze, however, when I hear a faint humming nearby and feel my left hand vibrating. I roll to the left, avoiding the Nevermore's attempt to eat me with ease, and look at my hand in confusion. The new Dust crystal is glowing brightly inside my palm, energy flying off of it in waves.

"A super bomb. Excellent! Let's charge it up and see what happens." I mutter under my breath and channel more Aura into the crystal. The result is the crystal lets loose a blinding flash of light that makes me shut my eyes and shield my face from the light. Every nerve in my body starts screaming in pain before I lose consciousness from the pain.

I have no idea how long I am unconscious, but then feeling starts working its way through my body, I realize that I am lying on my back and that the ground underneath me is moving. Oh, am I going to get an earful from Weiss. Deciding to just get it done, I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling in shock. The roof is curved upwards and a dark grey. I sit up, groaning slightly.

I freeze, however, when I hear my voice. It sounds…softer, than I have heard it in a long time. Almost dreading what happened to me, I sit up and look at the window, and am shocked at what I see in the reflection. I'm wearing my usual attire, but I definitely look like I'm 10 years old again! Another odd thing is that I can't feel my Aura at all, like it's been locked again. Okay, maybe I should have listened to Weiss's safety procedures after all.

"Well, look who's awake." A young male voice asks. I sit up and look up at the seats. Sitting in the seat is a boy with light skin, the bushiest brown hair I have seen in a while and light blue eyes. He is wearing a dark yellow t-shirt, red jeans and white running shoes. Judging by the look of his face, he is a complete nerd. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Who are you and where exactly am I?" I ask, a little startled by my voice also confirming that I'm 10 again.

The boy's eyes sparkled brightly as he answers. "I'm Neil. We're taking the bus to Science camp right now."

My eyes widen in surprise for a split second. I already think that Beacon's homework is boring, so I don't want to fathom how boring a Science summer camp is going to be for me. But I have to hide my horrified look and I give a small smile. "Nice to meet you, Neil. My name's Ruby. So how exactly did I get put on a bus to go to Science camp? I wanted to go to…Engineering camp." Hey, I like to build weapons for a living, so why not?

"Weird choice. Well, we found you lying on the ground out cold. Our driver said that you were asleep and hauled you onboard." Neil responds, then looks down with a thoughtful look on his face.

I slowly back away from him and walk to the other side of the bus, looking back out the window. The bus is currently driving…into a forest? Something tells me that we aren't going to a science camp at all. "Oh yeah. This is going to be the most awesome summer!" A more feminine voice says. I look in the direction of the voice and see literally the only other passenger on this bus: A girl who looks about 10 with odd turquoise hair, pale skin and purple eyes like mine, only lighter. She is wearing a yellow shirt as well, but it is covered by red overalls.

"Hi. Who are you?"

"I'm Nikki. I don't know where you think we're going, nerd, but I'm ready for some adventure time." She says with an enthusiasm that only Nora Valkyrie could match. But I can't help but raise an eyebrow at hearing that statement; doesn't she know where we are heading, or this is a summer camp with serious variety?

"Alright, kids. We're almost there." A deep, grumbling voice calls from the front of the bus, before honking the horn.

As the bus keeps driving, however, I hear a voice that makes me freeze. "Hello! Welcome to Camp…" Before the bus stops, and the man screams in pain.

"Did you just run over my friend?" I mutter incredulously. This voice may have sounded a lot more cheerful than Jaune Arc's voice ever did, but it sounded too similar to his voice to ignore.

As I walk to the front with Nikki and Neil at my sides, I get my first good look at the driver; a man with wrinkled, one of his eyes shut, grey hair and a long grey moustache, and wearing a red flannel shirt under a brown jacket, with jeans, knee-high boots and a green trucker hat. The thing that makes me slightly wary is that shiny metal hook hand. Honestly, if I get a prosthetic hand one day, I don't want it to be a hook like that. The doors open up to reveal the vast forest around us. "Kids are here." He says, taking his hook hand off the wheel.

"Ha!" Nikki shouts, jumping off the bus and letting in a long inhale. Next to her is another boy about my new age with bushy black hair, dark tanned skin and green eyes. He is wearing a yellow shirt under a blue hoodie, jeans and red shoes. "Oh yeah, smell that nature. Oh, that's the stuff!" Nikki says, squatting a little. I snigger lightly at her overly-enthusiastic attitude while the other boy stares at her with an apathetic look.

The man who got hit by the bus a few seconds ago stands up, shaking off the hit. He is a man who also has pale skin, fiery red hair and green eyes. He sounds like Jaune and looks like he could be Pyrrha Niko's father; what a disturbing series of coincidences. He is wearing a yellow scarf that looks similar to my own around his neck, a brown vest over a green shirt with the picture of a tree on the front and brown shorts. "Well, hello there, little lady. You must be Nikki. My name is David, your camp…" David says, lowering his hand to Nikki in a way that he wants to shake her hand. However, that was a huge mistake, since Nikki literally bites David's outstretched hand.

My stare in surprise and amusement at David screaming in pain, frantically shaking it around in an attempt to make Nikki let go. Okay, with her as a fellow camper wherever we are, this could be a fun summer. "Excuse me. Is this Science Camp?" Neil asks, his certainty that he is at the right place dissolving.

"No, silly." Nikki answers, letting go of David's hand and dropping to the ground. "This is Adventure Camp. Ad-ven-ture! My Mom said so; unless she was lying. Again."

'Um, OK?' I wonder incredulously. Seriously, how would they not know what they are signing themselves up for from summer camp?

Nikki then looks up at David as he massages his hand. "Sorry about that hand, by the way. Just exerting dominance. You know how it goes." I crack a wide smile at Nikki's nonchalant attitude. She reminds me quite a lot of Nora in several ways. Oh boy, will we have some fun times.

"And you must be Neil." David says, taking notice of the bushy-haired nerd. Then David notices me and raises an eyebrow. "Huh. Your name's not on my list. Can I ask who are you?"

"I'm Ruby, and I am really confused right now. I thought I was going to engineering camp."

David stares at me a little surprised, then a sparkle in his eyes that kind of reminds me of myself when I was 10; I ended up eating all of the chocolate chip cookies and stole Yang's super-soaker. I don't regret it, though the mess I had to clean up made Dad nearly throw a fit. "We got an unannounced camper! Well, Ruby, I hope you will have a wonderful time this summer! Now, to answer your question, you will be happy to know that Camp Campbell is all of…" He gets interrupted again when the bus, lurches forward violently, slamming him back to the ground screaming in pain. I wince, already feeling sorry for all the pain this camp counselor has already been through. But something tells me that he will go through so much more before the summer is over. Before I can figure out why David is so unlucky, I hear a different voice come from inside the bus.

"Stupid prepubescent legs."

'Is that Sun?' I wonder incredulously, remembering the blonde monkey Faunus who befriended Blake I met briefly before I came to this bizarre place. The grey-haired driver walks onto the bus with its doors still open.

"Not today, child. The only one driving this bus is me." The man says, turning around and hoisting the darker-skinned boy up by the hood on his hoodie as they boy desperately tries to grab the wheel before giving up. What is with this place and people sounding exactly like other people I know?

"Uh, thank you, Quartermaster." David says, smiling kindly at the old man.

"Don't thank me. You're on your own now." 'Quartermaster' says, pointing his hook hand at David's face, making his eyes widen in slight horror. He then reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a grey bottle with a skull and crossbones on it, with 3 X's underneath. Using his other hand, his pulls the small cork off the top, resulting in a sickening bubbling sound and large purple bubbles flying out of the top. "Going on break. Be back for the bus at noon." With that, he walks away from us and towards a smaller wooden cabin to do Oum-knows-what. I can only stare in horror at the creepy man walking away. He acts like a stereotypical serial killer from every movie I saw with Dad! That only begs the question further; where am I?

I am interrupted from my thoughts when David frowns then looks down at the dark-skinned boy who tried to make a break for it and kneels to his height. "Max, _you_ are not leaving my side for the rest of the day."

"We'll see about that, _Camp man_." Max answers, his arms crossed over his chest. I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes at the cold tone in his voice.

"So, what's your deal?" Neil asks, walking up to Max.

Max just sighs in frustration and slight sadness. "I'm just a kid trying to survive out here, Neil." He says, patting Neil's shoulder.

He then looks at me, but before I can talk to the cynical boy, David interjects. "Let's go check out the camp, kids." With that, he walks towards the large log cabin with a dark red roof and a wood panel that has the words 'Mess Hall' carved into it above double doors. On my left is a giant wooden flag pole with a…face carved into the top? A green flag with the words like 'Camp Campbell' and 'Campe Diem' printed in gold. So, this summer camp is called Camp Campbell. That's a rather funny name. But on my right is a table with a glass cage in it and a brown hamster inside it with the inscription 'Larry the Hamster XI: Camp Mascot.' "The first stop on any good tour is the flagpole. I can't help but give it the official Camp Campbell salute every time I see it." David adds, saluting the flag with his pinky fingers and two index fingers.

I look around to get a better view of the camp, noticing the large lake in the middle of the forest, another log cabin that is noticeably smaller with large white tents in the distance. "This place looks so awesome! Too bad my sister isn't here; she would have made some lame pun." I then look down at the ground slightly, wondering when I might get back to Yang.

"Ah yes. So many good memories here from when I was a Campbell camper. Anyway, beside the flagpole is our Mess Hall, which…" David stops when he sees the flag and gives the salute once more. "Oh, sorry. Saw the flag again. Beside the flagpole is our Mess Hall, which is connected to the Quartermaster's store. It's here that we serve meals, hold announcements and occasionally take part in camp activities. Tell 'em just how much you love it, Max!"

A moment of long silence passes as I stare at Max's downcast face and deep scowl, with Neil and Nikki doing the same, frowning and smiling respectively. "See, that's the sad thing. He still actually thinks that I love it." Max says, making Nikki's smile falter. I can't help but scowl a little at Max's attitude but given his view of David and that he was probably sent here against his will, I can understand.

"And who wouldn't?" David asks, his grin spread across his face, walking to the Mess Hall's front doors. "Now, let's step inside and meet my co-counselor, Gwen. She's in the middle of a camp activity right now! Oh man, you're going to love her."

"I don't know about that." I mutter under my breath. No matter how much I listen to David's voice, I can't get over how much he sounds like Jaune.

David doesn't hear my comment and pushes the door inward, saying, "Good morning, Gwen!"

"Motherfucker!" Came the furious feminine response. I tilt my head in confusion, wondering what a 'motherfucker' was.

David walks into the Mess Hall looking terrified, with Max, Neil, Nikki and I following close behind. My eyes go from one end of the room to another, taking in the vast array of campers; the blonde teen listening to music, one bushy-haired kid working with a deck of cards while another is doing…whatever he's doing with that skull, a dark-skinned girl with fake ears pushing a pink ball by blowing on it, and the shortest boy there with sky blue eyes is flying a paper airplane. The last two are a large boy with red hair and green eyes and reminds me of Cardin Winchester, the stupid jerk who got into Beacon by brute strength alone, while the only adult supervising them is a woman with darker skin, purple eyes more like sis's, with the same green shirt David is wearing and short shorts. What confuses me, though, is why they are staring at the ceiling, and the woman is throwing forks. " _Go ho ho ho ho_!" A young boy's voice shouts. Realizing why they are looking at the ceiling, I look up and see a boy of short stature wearing a brown suit and a blue helmet over his head, spinning around and around in the same direction as the ceiling fan, held to the fan by his yellow cape that reminds me of my beloved cloak. "Crank it to high! I can take the G's!" The boy shouts with an almost deranged enthusiasm. Is he really enjoying this?

"Nerf, you won't crank shit! Get down from there, Space Kid!" The woman, who I think is Gwen, shouts up at Space Kid.

"Language!" I say, but with all of the noise around me, I doubt anyone heard me.

"Oh dear." David adds with a little panic in his voice, then runs to Nerf and the switch on the wall.

"What is going on in here?" Neil asks, looking around with a look that shows his ever-increasing anxiety.

"Neil, if we leave now, I can hot wire that bus." Max says, grabbing Neil's arm and desperation on his face. Right now, I'm not sure if I want to stay or get out of here and try to find a way back home.

Nikki, on the other hand, has a different view. "This is amazing!" She shouts, literally bouncing up and down with a wide grin on her face.

My attention is drawn back to David, who pushes the bully-looking kid Nerf aside and flicks the switch down. The ceiling fan stop instantly and Space Kid continues flying for a brief second before his helmet smashes into the wall and he crashes down to the ground. "I'm okay." He says, dazed from the impact. I grin widely at the sight of the poor kid sprawled out, impressed that he managed to take a hit like that.

"What the gosh darn heck happened?" David asks, concern in his voice.

"Ugh. Space Kid's just, you know, pushing me to my limits again." Gwen answers, sounding absolutely exhausted.

"I will achieve space flight!" Space Kid shouts, recovering from his hit. Gwen rolls her eyes in frustration at hearing him say that.

"As my sister would say, it sure sounds like you'r _space_ -ing out." I remark, a wide smile still spread on my face. Although Space Kid's antics make me think about something that I have never thought of before. Has this dimension or wherever I am managed to achieve space flight? While dimension-traveling sounds much too awesome to be real, I think that I'm right on this one since no one seems to have any Aura. Gwen looks at me with an angry look, then looks between me, Neil and Nikki.

"Who the fuck are they?" Gwen asks, confusion in her voice and written across her face. Though, what does 'fuck' mean?

"Well, they are the new campers we have to introduce and orientate." David says, reaching into his pants pockets and pulling out 3 red badges with the words '1st day Camper' printed in gold coloring and puts them on Neil and Nikki's right side and then he puts it on the right side of my black blouse.

"Ow." Neil pipes up in protest.

"Jesus, that's right. Okay, let's…show them the video." Gwen says.

"Actually." David answers, pulling a guitar out from the case on his back that I somehow missed. "I was thinking I could play them that camp song I've been…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there." Gwen interrupts, pressing against David's chest. "No. I'll get the laser disk." She then walks off to a set of side doors.

"OK!" David replies, somehow maintaining his attitude. "All you campers head over to the activities field for your afternoon sessions." A bunch of campers grumble in protest but start walking towards the front door anyways. Max tries to do so as well, but David grabs his hoodie. "Uh-uh. Not you, Max."

"Damn it." Max mutters, scowling at the ground.

"Will someone please talk to me about science camp? None of those kids looked to science-y." Neil asks, starting to sound scared and desperate.

"What about that astronaut kid?" Nikki asks.

"Astronauts? The wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please." Neil answers dismissively. I have to fight to hold down a laugh at how much Neil is acting like one of those goofy nerds I hung out with.

Suddenly, the doors to the store open up and Gwen walks in, holding a huge disk in her hands before breathing on it, clearing the dust off of it and handing it to David. Man, that thing looks like it got ripped out of the pre-historic era! Not even grandma's old house had as outdated technology as the thing in Gwen's hands. "Don't you worry, kiddos, this video will explain everything." David starts, as Gwen pushes a stand with a small TV with antennas on the top to David, then fiddles with it. "It was put together by our founder, Cameron Campbell, back when I was an eager young camper just like yourselves. He was-sorry- _is_ , an absolute legend."

As David continues talking, I completely tune him out when I notice a ladder probably leading to the attic lowering and an old, burly man with grey hair walks down in his tank top and boxer shorts. He suddenly realizes he is still in his sleep wear, Gwen looking at him with a concerned look before he climbs back up the ladder. Several odd creaks come from the attic before he climbs back down the ladder, wearing a different white shirt under a brown jacket, a yellow scarf around his neck, long pants and thick brown boots. Once he's all the way down, he pushes the ladder back up to the attic, sealing it again. "…like the man always said; we're here to have a great summer, and Campe Diem!" I shake my head and try paying attention to David again. "Oh, if only he were here now." He adds wistfully. I never take my eyes off the man in case this guy tries to attack us at all.

Before I could tell him to look at the stranger behind him, the man hits David on the shoulder. "I'm here now." He says, a calm tone in his voice.

David suddenly drops the disk, shattering it, and gasping in shock. "Mr. Campbell!? Wha- What are you doing here, sir?" He asks, the ecstasy practically radiating from him. I can't help but giggle a little at his awe of this man.

The man, Mr. Campbell, laughs in amusement. "Well, I'm certainly not hiding from any authorities if that's what you're asking." His tone suddenly becomes more nervous.

"Wait, what?" David and I ask simultaneously. This guy is so definitely hiding from the local authorities. Campbell then wraps a hand around his shoulder.

"Come on, Davey! You'd think I'd miss the opportunity to welcome our new Campbell campers to Cameron Campbell's Camp Campbell?" He asks, giving David a smile.

"…You have for years, sir." Gwen states with a bored tone.

Campbell just wraps his other free arm around her neck. "Oh, Grace, you slay me!"

"It's…Gwen." She corrects, trying to take in oxygen. Reminds me of Yang's bear hugs, really.

"What did I say?"

"Hey, brawny guy?" Nikki asks, catching all of our attention. "This is Adventure Camp, right?" She asks, now suddenly sounding unsure herself if she's in the right place as well.

"Yeah. So far, every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions." Neil realizes, looking even more confused than ever. To be honest, I am feeling more and more confused as well as to what the heck is going on.

"Hey, good for you. You're starting to catch on!" Max says, sneering widely. It was the first time I had seen him smile and it certainly fits his icy personality that could rival Weiss's when we first met.

Campbell just laughs in amusement at our question. "Don't you worry, kids! These two will you on a tour of our great camp and answer any questions you might have." Just then, I hear a car driving closer and closer to the cabin, prompting Cameron's grey eyes to widen in horror. He walks over to the window to look out, along with the rest of us. I watch as a black car with red and white lights on the front pulls up and tops, allowing two shady-looking men wearing dark suits and sunglasses to step out, and look around while pressing two fingers against some device embedded in their ears. Cameron's eyes widen even further before he roughly grabs the green curtains on either side of the window and pulls them together. "In fact, we should go on that tour now, all of us, together, away from this spot." Cameron says, then starts pushing us to the front doors while maintaining a wide grin.

"Sounds like someone's in _trouble_." I remark, grinning widely.

"Shut up." Cameron mutters under his breath, sounding very on edge.

Eventually, we walk out of the dining hall and reach what I believe is the main camp grounds. If so, I'm going to have the summer of my life. "Here at Camp Campbell, we pride ourselves on the variety of our curriculum." David explains with enthusiasm.

Somehow, Gwen ignores David's enthusiasm and looks at the clipboard and rambles off the list in a very half-hearted tone. "There's extreme sports camp." Just then, the rad girl gets on a skateboard and rolls down a half-pipe, only for the opposite to give away and she crashes right through it, making me wince a little. "Magic Camp." The boy with the bushy hair I saw earlier who is wearing a top hat, black vest over a yellow shirt and black pants along with shoes somehow makes a bird appear before it flies away. As the bird is flying away, the bully-looking kid pulls a tomato off the vines in the middle of the field and throws it at the wannabe magician, resulting in his depressed expression and the bully's chuckling. "Space Camp." Space Kid is sitting in a cardboard box with **Challenger II** written on the side with a cone on top and facing towards the sky before he falls backwards and face-plants in the process. "Theater Camp." A boy wearing rather old-fashioned clothes holds a skull up near his head and does his very best to hold that position like he did in the mess hall until the bully-looking kid once again rips off a tomato and hits the actor in his face. "Art Camp." Here, the small boy is painting a dog with a red armband in its arm. He then looks away from his work and declares that 'It's a dog!' "Other Magic Camp." Suddenly, as the magician boy is walking around and rubbing the tomato off his face, a dark-skinned girl with those blue eyes behind her round glasses who is still wearing those silly-looking fake ears ambushes the boy, knocking him to the ground with her fake sword and hitting him with… whatever those are while shouting 'lightning bolt!' I just stare at her in shock; aside from the braces, she sounds almost exactly like sis? And why do I feel like she's going to start choking on her own spit any second now? "And lots more. Lots of stuff."

Well, wherever I am, I am far from home. As long as they have a cookie supply, then I might be happy here. "How much more stuff?" I ask, unintentionally stealing the words right from Nikki's mouth.

"Well, I'm glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing…" Davis suggests, only for Gwen to protest. "When Gwen's not around."

"By the way, Mr. Campbell." Gwen adds, looking up at the burly founder. "Now that you're here, maybe we can discuss just how exactly how we're meant to operate at this scale…"

Before she can finish her boring statement, Campbell interrupts. "Hey, is that kid trying to escape?" He then points to Max who is running as fast as he can from us. I look at the spot where Max once was, and I only see… a hand-knit double of Max? Where was he hiding that?

"Why is Max running away?" I wonder, seeing him going as fast as possible; though I can beat him easily. David then picks up the double and starts running at such fast speeds that I feel somewhat impressed with, though I could best him any day.

"Looks like knitting camp wasn't as stupid as some said; huh, Max?" David asks kindly.

"You are the bane of my existence." Max replies angrily.

"Alright, now. Let's go." David answers, carrying Max back to our main group. While I wish Max could just scowl less, he does have the right idea on escaping this strange place.

"Excuse me." Neil interrupts, heading to a table filled with utensils that are either completely wooden or half-melted. "What the hell is this?"

"Ah, I see you found that. That, my friend, is Science Camp." David replies happily, only for one of the wooden table legs to fall over.

"But, this isn't what I signed up for. I wanted science camp! Not Science Camp and more. I don't want more!" Neil protests, waving his pamphlet for science camp in front of David.

The founder of this wacky place then walks up and pats Neil on the head. "And that's why you should read the fine print, sport." He then grabs Neil's pamphlet and holds a 'microscope' over it. "See? 'And More…'" I can't help but giggle slightly at how Neil get shown up like that. "Now you can't sue us!" While I have no idea what 'suing' is, I get the feeling that's a rather common thing around here.

Nikki looks down at her own pamphlet. "So, what? It's some sort of…camp camp?" I look down at the pamphlet, and also notice the fine print. Man, this guy is sneaky.

"I wouldn't call it out like that, but yes." Campbell answers, grinning widely.

"Uh, mister?" I ask hesitantly. "I don't know where…"

"This is bullshit!" Neil shouts loudly, catching all of our attention towards him out of pure surprise.

Max, however, looks deeply impressed. "Well, check out the balls on the new kid."

"Where?" Nikki asks, looking down. I honestly have no idea why she did that.

"I don't know what kind of operation you think you're running, but I won't stand for it! I'm a man of science! Do you think you can just throw together some outdated equipment and call it a laboratory?" Neil then points towards the rickety science camp structure. David looks slightly upset over Neil's outburst while I scowl at how mean he's being.

"Neil, you're being a little rude right now." I say out loud, not really liking his attitude.

"Look. Kid, I know it's not…" Gwen starts speaking, but Campbell steps in.

"Stand down, Gretchen. I shall speak to the children. Kids, I am going to be blunt and honest with you. When I opened Camp Campbell all those years ago, I had one goal and one goal only; create the most popular and successful summer camp in the world! But times have changed; things like the internet, video games, and the Affordable Care Act are ruining this great country of ours, and the children of today just aren't interested in a traditional summer camp. But America isn't a traditional country. SO why should we settle for anything else?" I give a silent applause to his short monologue while David wipes a tear away.

"You've got two acceptable counselors, one hell of a quartermaster, and endless possibilities here at Camp Campbell. And by God, as long as I'm here…"

Campbell is then interrupted by the black car from earlier smashing into the clearing. After smashing through the painting of the poor dog, the two shady agents then step out and start firing their pistols at Campbell. In a moment of wide-eyed shock, Campbell grabs Space Kid and holds him up. What really shocks me is that the bullets just bounce off of Space Kid's helmet. Note to self: Steal Space Kid's helmet and study how it works.

"Code black. Code black." Campbell speaks frantically into a comm device built onto his watch. Suddenly, a large black helicopter flies into view. The hatch is pulled open and a ladder is thrown down. Campbell throws Space Kid aside, causing him to shout in triumph slightly, and grabs the ladder. "Well, look at the time. Got to go."

"Sir!" David says frantically, "Where are you going?"

"The nearest international waters, Davey!" Campbell answers as the helicopter lifts back up higher into the air, but not before shouting, "Have a great summer, kids! Campe Diem!" Now that is a phrase I probably might need to commit to memory. Meanwhile, the secret agents get back into the black car and start driving away to give chase. Why do I get the feeling I might be at the receiving end of their hunt soon?

"Well, he seems nice." Nikki says nonchalantly, breaking me from my train of thought.

"Oh, god. It's coming back; the crippling anxiety and regret." Gwen nearly shouts, grabbing her head and trying to run away.

"Well, time to get that there bus back to that there city." The elderly man, who I'm guessing is the quartermaster, mutters as he walks by.

"Neil, that bus is our only chance out of here. Do you want to spend the rest of your summer at this god forsaken hell hole, or do you want to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom?" Max asks, shaking Neil's hand frantically.

Neil then looks at Gwen as she's too busy shouting, "Why did I get a liberal arts degree?" He then makes his choice. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

I shrug slightly, realizing that escaping this weird place might be the only way I can see Yang again. "I'm coming with you."

"Making a break for it?" Nikki asks, walking towards us. "I can make a distraction for you."

"Why would you help us?" Max demands sharply.

"I'm an agent of chaos." She then turns to the red-haired counselor. "Hey, David!"

"Yes?" David asks, dropping Gwen.

"How about you pick up our spirits with that camp song you won't shut up about?"

"Why, what a wonderful idea, Nikki." David then pulls out his guitar and starts singing his camp song.

As I'm listening to the catchy and beautiful song, Max pulls out a pair of needles, and lots of multi-colored buttons, then realizes he doesn't have any silver buttons on him. "Oh, fuck this." Max mutters, throwing them aside. He then starts running as fast as he can towards the bus. I chase after him, with Neil and Nikki also following.

I could have sworn I heard Quartermaster mutter, "No runnin'" as we pass by.

But as the bus finally makes into our view, I look back and notice Gwen and David gaining ground, slowly catching up with Max. "Max, get back here! You are being a bad influence on our new campers!" David shouts.

"Never!"

"Max, hurry." Nikki calls out, before she gets a determined look in her eyes. She then rips her red and yellow '1st day Camper' badge off her overalls and throws it like a frisbee at David. The badge smacks him between the eyes, knocking him down. Gwen trips over David, smacking her forehead hard.

I can't help but smirk at Nikki's stunt. Looks like she's a lot better at fighting than I guessed. We all jump onto the bus, with Neil getting into the driver's seat, Nikki pushing the ignition peddle, while Max gives one last taunt to the counselors before shutting the doors before laughing like a crazy person.

Once he's done, Max then turns around and looks at me. "You know, I've been wondering. Who the fuck are you exactly?"

"Ruby Rose, at your service. You know, you could not be as mean to people. You can make more friends that way."

"Uh, guys?" Neil asks sharply. "We don't know how to drive this thing."

"Yeah. And why are there six pedals down here? I thought we can only go four directions." Nikki comments.

I then look around frantically for anything that might help, then I notice the bus fast approaching a tree. "Aw, shit." Max says. Then the bus comes to a sudden stop and we are all knocked off our feet.

I get up, looking around and notice a phone that was lying under the seat, with a cracked screen. Neil then sits up, groaning. He looks down and notices a large red splotch on his shirt. "Crap! I'm bleeding! Fucking call someone already!"

Max looks frantic, then notices a sticker on the opposite side. 'In the case of emergency, call 1-800-MAGIC.' "Here." I then give him the phone.

Max dials in the number and waits while the phone rings and is on speaker. Seconds later, a grouchy man's voice answers. "Tech support answering. What's your situation?"

"I'm fucking bleeding to death inside of a filthy bus!" Neil whines, holding the red spot on his shirt tightly.

"Okay. No problem. I'll triangulate your position and send some officers to help. Until they arrive, what I want you to do is to place a hand on the wound and hold it for 60 seconds. Six-zero. That should reduce the chance of you bleeding to death." My face pales considerably; this man honestly thinks Neil could die!

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Max demands harshly.

"Well, I can see your line is busy, so I'm letting you go. Toodles."

"So I'm just supposed to sit here and wait for help? I'm going to…"

"Oh, hey look!" Nikki says, lifting up a squashed ketchup packet. "I found this under the seat."

Neil then looks down at his 'wound,' then lifts up his shirt. "Let me get this straight. I thought I was going to die for nearly two minutes now, only to find out that I've got ketchup all over me?"

"Yup," Nikki replies, then smells the squished packet. "Why does it smell like old bacon?"

Within minutes, several police vehicles roll into the pathway. Once the policemen get out of their cars, they pull the doors open and push us out. David and Gwen are already standing next to the police cars, looking really embarrassed.

"I'm getting real tired of coming up here, David." The lead officer, apparently the sheriff of some county called Sleepy Peak, says with deep exasperation, handing David a pink slip of paper.

"I know, Sal." David answers, taking the paper.

"Damn it. We were so close!" Max mutters angrily, looking at his hands.

"No, we weren't. And language." I speak up, resulting in a glare from Max.

"I agree with Little Red Riding Hood here. Honestly, Max, how far did you expect to make it, Max?" Gwen asks.

"Yeah. I mean, in hindsight, none of us really knew how to drive." Neil admits, looking calmer than he was a second ago.

"To be real, I just always wanted to drive a bus." Nikki adds, grinning.

"Well, kids." David says, looking down at us as the police cars and the secret agents I saw earlier get back into their vehicles and leaving. "I hope we all learned something today."

"Oh, no." Max shouts angrily. "I hope you learned, David. I hope you learned that before today, you only have one little bastard to deal with. But now, you've have four." He then wraps his arms around all of us. I can't help but grin slightly at the sight of Max actually starting to make friends. "Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent."

"Woohoo! This is going to be awesome!" Nikki shouts, bouncing up and down with excitement.

Neil lets out a long groan. "This is going to be fucking awful."

"You know, I've been wondering. What exactly is 'fuck'?" I ask suddenly, hearing that word a lot today but not knowing what it is.

Max, Neil, and Nikki look at each other incredulously. Then a wide smile makes its way onto Max's face. "Well, Ruby. Looks like you've got a lot to learn here at this pit of a camp."

I then hear loud Jaune-like screaming and notice Gwen standing over a beaten David, holding a smashed guitar over him. Yeah, it looks like I'm going to be stuck here for a long time.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, that's the first chapter of my summer special.

I hope you all liked it, and now to explanations. I tragically have to say that I will not be able to do Ruby going through every episode of Camp Camp; there are only so many weeks in summer. Thus, I will only have Ruby take part in my favorite Camp Camp episodes.

Don't worry; there will be lots of slightly changed moments in it so it's not just a 'Ruby Rose reacts to Camp Camp' fanfic, along with some original content. And yes, I will include the new Camp Camp Season 3 into the mix.

Finally, this is going to be my ultimate tribute to Rooster Teeth and the dedication they put into their work changed my life. Thus, I am going to try and reference every Rooster Teeth show that I can.

I will see you all next time for when Ruby is getting settled into the Camp Campbell lifestyle.


	2. Site B

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"Ta-da!"

"Ruby! There you are!"

Ruby looks away from her finished project and notices Max, Neil, and Nikki making their way towards the short girl. "Hey, guys. How are you doing?"

"Nothing much. David sent us to find you before we went to dinner." Max answers sharply, looking aggravated. "What the actual fuck are you doing?" Ruby would have normally called him out on his harsh language, which is part of what truly makes him different from Sun, but she is starting to get used to it. And he's been teaching her so much about…various things that Yang has kept hidden from her younger sister; such as what exactly sex is, various tools invented to enhance the intercourse, and other curse words she has never heard of in her life.

"Oh, this?" Ruby asks, pointing towards a long piece of wood she finished nailing to the roof of the rickety cabin. On it is written 'Engineering Camp,' painted in blocky white letters. "I spent all week re-building my camp. Turns out engineering camp did exist when Mr. Campbell established this place, but they all quit when they built some half-pipe skate park way up on that volcano, only for it to be abandoned." She then points towards the massive volcano in the distance. Ruby then jumps down from the ladder she was standing on.

"Where the hell did you find paint?" Neil asks, looking up at it curiously.

"David left it lying out somewhere near the Mess Hall. I need to return it sometime." Ruby shrugs, "Well, let's get going."

They all then head off to the Mess Hall, with Ruby dropping off the paint along the way, and heading to their table. Everyone else is already there and eating away. Ruby sits down next to her three new friends. Ruby looks over at the table on the opposite end of the dining hall, where the cool girl known as Ered is eating. Next to her is a plate of mashed potatoes that is getting torn into by the new camp mascot, the vicious yet oddly apathetic platypus. This somewhat-cute platypus became the new mascot just three days ago; after Max killed Harry the Hamster and everyone all spent the day trying to find a replacement.

Once the creepy Quartermaster serves us our share of mashed potatoes, Ruby take a bite and nearly vomits it back up. It is so dry and mediocre-tasting, it's honestly unparalleled. The rest of the meal passes in a strange silence before we all leave for our tents.

Ruby is sleeping in the same tent as Nikki, which is the one on the left of Max's and Neil's tent. Of course, on the first day, Nikki and Ruby spent the rest of their afternoon re-decorating the inside. So now, they have a bunk bed with Nikki's on top, decorated with lots of vines and broken-off leaves, while Ruby has a normal bed with the trunk at the head.

As night falls, Ruby's eyes fly open once Nikki starts shaking her friend awake. "Come on, Ruby, you're stronger than this." Nikki then proceeds to slap Ruby across the cheek. "Wake up!"

"Hey, Nikki." Ruby mutters, sitting up. She was tired by the time she got to bed that she forgot to get on the new cotton pajamas David and Gwen got her on the third day. "What's going on?"

"Max and Neil are planning an escape. It will be an adventure! Wanna come?"

"Sure, give me a sec." Nikki instantly runs out. Ruby gets up and sneaks towards her new trunk and opens it. While it mostly has clothes in it, the red-haired huntress planned on collecting lots of cool stuff Ruby could have found here. She reaches into a secret compartment in the back of the trunk and pulls out the purple Dust crystal that got her sent to this mess in the first place. If it got her here, then maybe it can take her back home.

Ruby then closes the trunk and sneak out of the tent. She notices David off in the distance doing his nightly patrol along the way. "Alright, guys. Our first attempt to bust out of this god forsaken hell hole didn't work. But tonight's gonna be different." Max announces once they reach the docks in the middle of Lake Lilac.

"How is it?" Ruby ask excitedly, honestly hoping to go home soon.

"Because we have a secret weapon." Max answers smugly, then looks at the docks. Sitting there is a wooden boat, and a rather squat boy about our age, if not a little older, walking towards us. As he walks into the light of a lantern sitting nearby, its light reveals that he has a tanned skin tone with dark brown hair and dark blue eyes, and his eyepatch is most noticeable. He is wearing a black tank top, cargo pants, light wrapping around both his forearms, and a sash that has three badges on it: one is an ammo box, another is a skull, and the last is a flame. Lastly, why is he chewing on a candy cane? "May I introduce Billy Nikssilp."

"Call me Snake." He says with a venomous tone, taking the candy cane out of his mouth.

"He's ex-Wood Scouts, and one of the best. Isn't that right, Billy?" Max asks, sneering wider.

He chews on his candy cane in thought before answering. "Got my Search and Rescue badge in two weeks. Got my Wilderness Survival in one." Snake answers flatly.

"That's amazing." Nikki and Ruby say simultaneously. Honestly, Ruby took Wilderness Survival courses at Signal for when she might need to make a long journey when she finally became a Huntress. This place has also taught me quite a few things about life in general.

"I never had a choice." He answers darkly, still chewing on his cane.

"Wait, who are the Wood Scouts?" Ruby asks, since she's heard of their name from Gwen, but not what they are.

"The Wood Scouts are some of the most intense, militant campers on Lake Lilac. Billy here escaped." Max explains, sounding almost in awe of them. Wait, could General Ironwood have been a Wood Scout if he was ever on this world?

"And why is he helping us?" Neil asks suspiciously.

"I'm not doing this for you!" Snake replies sharply. "I made a vow."

Ruby stares at him for a moment of awkward silence. "Well, that's…" She starts complementing his leaving such a horrible-sounding group, but Neil interrupts.

"Well, okay. Let's get into the boat." Despite its size, it actually manages to hold all of them well. Once onboard, Snake guns the engines and we start cruising down the lake. "So, what are you going to do on the outside?"

"Probably live with the animals. Try and get raised by wolves, maybe work my way up to Alpha, pee on stuff. What about you guys?" Nikki answers, despite Ruby staring at her like she grew a second head.

"I'm going to go home. See my older sister and dad and show them that I can be a good engineer who can take care of myself." She replies, which is a somewhat honest answer.

"I think I'll go to my Dad's house and tell him Mom sent me to an abusive summer camp. I tend to like him more, so that she'll try to buy make my love." Neil answers.

Ruby only stares at him with shock and some anger; he has a living mom and he uses her like this? "That's really dark, Neil." Nikki remarks, rather unfazed by what she just heard. "How about you, Max?"

Max, however, wasn't listening to the conversation. He was staring out at the lake with suspicion and a hint of concern; something Ruby have yet to see in her jaded friend. "Billy? Where are you taking us?" He asks, already on edge.

"Shortcut." Snake says shortly, gunning the engine further. By now, Max actually looks a little worried as he looks out at the lake. But as he looks down at the side of the boat, he lets out a gasp.

Before even Ruby can respond, Snake stabs Max in the back with the pointy end of his candy cane. "Ah! Jesus Christ!" Neil shouts in shock, backing up to the edge. Nikki does the same while Ruby stands my ground. Snake then glares at them and growls.

He then pushes past Ruby and grabs Nikki, lifting her up over his head. "Hey! What gives?" Nikki demands.

"No girls allowed!" Snake shouts, throwing Nikki into the water.

"Nikki!" Neil shouts, falling overboard to catch her.

Ruby runs toward Snake and punches him in the face. While the speed does make it more effective, Ruby is not as strong as she would be at 15 and admits to really sucking at using her fists. Snake just grabs Ruby's arm and uses her momentum to throw her overboard as well. Ruby can barely see Max trying to tangle with the backstabber again before she starts to sink. Once the speedboat is gone, Ruby starts swimming back towards the shore.

As she continues swimming towards the shore, the waves start carrying her towards the shore…and right into a giant rock sticking out from the bottom of the lake. She slams head-first into the rock and the whole world goes black.

When Ruby regains consciousness, she finds herself lying on top of a wooden table and staring up at a clear sky. "Well, it's about time you woke up, idiot."

"Huh?" Ruby groans out before sitting up and looking around. Her eyes fall upon three teenagers who look less than happy to see her. The teen on the left is brown-skinned with brown eyes and choppy brown hair much like Ruby's, and she is wearing a thick black diving suit with the mask sitting on her forehead. The teen on the right is a pale-skinned boy who is shorter than even Ruby and is wearing a black top-hat that goes with his black tuxedo and monocle. The teen in the middle, however, is easily the oldest; perhaps 18 years old. He is the tallest of them all, with a regal face and well-trimmed red hair, and dressed in a very simple grey tank top and torn jeans. The teen in the middle was the one who spoke to Ruby. "Where am I?"

"Pardon Chucky's terrible manners. My name is Maria, and we all welcome you to the Twilight Zone." The scuba-diver, now named Maria, answers kindly.

"The Twilight Zone?" Ruby asks woozily, never having heard of this camp before.

"Yes. It's not a very good name. Ripley and his hopeless nerds at Film Camp coined the name." Maria answers, glaring at the shortest teen.

"Oh, well excuse me for being artistically creative!" Ripley shouts in annoyance.

"Look, where can I get back to Camp Campbell from here? I'm from there, you see, and I got into a boating accident." Ruby answers truthfully.

The trio look at each other; all of them look dejected in one way or another. "Well, miss…what's your name?" Maria asks.

"Oh, I'm Ruby. Ruby Rose."

"Well, Ruby Rose. You've technically never left Camp Campbell."

Ruby looks at them all, very surprised but also confused. "If you're all campers at Camp Campbell, why haven't I seen any of you at all and why do you have your own name?"

"Because no one there gives a flying fuck about us." Chucky answers harshly. "Camp Campbell isn't a summer camp; it's a dumping ground where kids are sent so their parents don't have to deal with them."

Ruby winces slightly at how harsh that sounds. This boy certainly would get along with Max. "Chucky, shut up. Ridley, beat it. Ruby, come with me; I'm going to give you a tour of your new home." Maria then starts walking away from the main group. Ruby hurriedly gets up and closely follows.

As they continue walking, Ruby realizes that she is standing on the edge of a steep hill. One that provides an expansive view of the entire camp grounds. There are 11 wooden, multi-roomed cabins that make a perfect U-shape that faces Lake Lilac, though the cabin in the back is two stories and much nicer in design. In the center of the field is a gathering of wooden tables, with the flag-pole next to it, despite the green and yellow flag she is used to seeing being replaced by a fat pair of pants blowing in the light breeze. Finally, sitting on the edge of the lake is a large wooden pirate ship tied into place by a measly stake and a thick rope. But the one thing that caught Ruby's attention is the large manor-like grounds on the opposite end of the lake and thick, stormy clouds hanging over another part of the lake. "Are they also part of this 'Twilight Zone?'" Ruby asks.

Maria's faces scrunches up in disgust. "Fuck no. The fancy area is home to those stuck-up bitches, the Flower Scouts. And the morbid area belongs to those incessant motherfuckers, the Wood Scouts."

"Uh, why is it only cloudy over the Wood Scout's camp, and what does incessant mean?"

Maria cringes slightly. "Well, no one has any idea why that is, and incessant means family members fuck each other." Ruby blanches deeply. "Yeah, I know. Well, follow me. That area you woke up at, that was Film Camp's turf. We would have used other spaces, but we're kind of short of space." The duo then walks down the hill and towards the nearest cabin, where four boys and girls sitting around a wood table and…drawing? "Yo, Paul!" The head counselor, a boy of medium height with paint stains all over his white shirt and jeans and has the puffiest brown hair Ruby has ever seen. looks up. "What's new today?"

"Absolutely nothing!" Paul shouts back, then notices a slightly pale Ruby. "Who's that?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm Ruby. Who are you?" She mentally shakes her head, trying to forget some rather disturbing images she thought of.

Paul beams with pride, grabbing the paintbrush tucked behind his ear and twirls it on one finger with such skill, Ruby is in slight awe, before pointing it at her. "I'm Paul McDonald, and we are…the Comix Camp!" The other three stop what they are doing and try to flex the few muscles they have.

Ruby bursts into hysterical laughter and Maria facepalms. "You're a class-A dork, Paul."

"Why, thank you." Paul says, bowing deeply.

"What's your comic book topic this summer?"

"Oh, you should hear this. It's our most brilliant idea yet; it's about a former meth-head who is caught up in the middle of the apocalypse. But not just any apocalypse, but the bane of every workaholic's existence: sleep! That's right; once you fall asleep, you die. Anyway, he meets up with this young boy called Sam, who is a bloody hoot. Then they meet some hot chicks and…"

As Paul rambles on and on, Ruby looks at Maria with surprise. "Is he always like this?"

"You have no idea. You should have seen him last year when they made up that comic book series last summer detailing the government arresting four stuck-up college students who create a black hole and were forced to recount every illegal experiment those jackasses came up with to save the world; he was like a fucking kid on Christmas morning. Well, see you later, Paul."

"Oh. Well, have a nice day, babe." Paul calls out before he sits back down at the table and continues drawing, looking a little depressed.

"He seems nice enough." Ruby speaks as they make their way around the ring, thinking that Christmas must be this place's version of the Winter Solstice.

"Yes, he is. See that cabin over there?" Maria then points to the cabin on the far left of the U. "That's pirate camp. Their head counselor, Willy, is training all of them to be sailors." She then points towards the redhead who is wearing what looks like a stereotypical pirate, along with a dozen other kids who are dressed in a similar fashion. "That's pirate camp. Unfortunately, Willy may have a good heart, but he and his mates get the shit beaten out of him by Ridley and his Film Camp followers while making Ridley's movies."

"Oh. That's not very good." Ruby says, looking sympathetic to their situation.

"I know, right? Well, that over there is a rather…interesting camp." She then points to a single-story cabin with a single boy sitting out front. "Allow me to introduce Argument Camp."

Ruby giggles. "Argument Camp? Who sends their kids off so they can get into an argument?"

"Someone does. Anyway, that is Comedy Camp, and its only member, Scotty. I think Steven King had a hand in that." The aforementioned boy dressed up as a clown waves in a friendly manner. "Those guys who are marching around their cabin are in Band Camp. Sergeant Pepper is their leader." She then waves at the tight formation of kids marching towards the center of the field, led by a boy with black hair in a bowl cut wearing a light blue, fancy military uniform with patches and medals. "His name's bullshit, but he won't say what it is. Oh, and there's Abuse Camp."

Ruby stops in place. "Come again?"

Maria sighs and points to the fancy cabin at the back of the U-shape. "This is Abuse Camp. Some of the wealthier people these days apparently want to humble their kids in increasingly twisted ways; well, sending them off to summer camp to be verbally abused certainly hits the spot. Makes them be little bitches on the Internet. If you are wondering, Chucky is a part of Abuse Camp." Ruby looks down, suddenly happy that Weiss wasn't sent there. Just then, they hear loud moaning coming from a steeply-roofed cabin. "And that is Church Camp practicing to channel their misery for their Sunday preaching."

"What can possibly make them so sad?" Ruby asks with concern.

"Politicians being assholes as usual." Maria answers. "Anyway, there are some close friends of mine over there now." Ruby looks in the direction of being pointed and notices a group of six girls in their late teens dancing around wildly inside their cabin. "That's Dance Camp. And let me tell you, they are really good at it. Next up, we have Boot Camp."

They then stare at the humble cabin with a leather sheet covering a pavilion where several burly-looking teenagers are cutting and shaping pieces of leather to make simple shoes. "They seem good at their job."

"Well, they only got good after hundreds of accidents. When Boot Camp was invented and Charlie was in charge, they had their own mini-factory and everything. But he's gone now."

"What happened?"

Maria grimaces. "The factory collapsed and somehow set the Abuse Camp cabin on fire. In the end, Chucky shouted such obscenities at Charlie that the poor bastard ran away. Well, you must be hungry. Let's get you some breakfast." The duo then heads toward the tables, where three dozen campers are gathering for breakfast. Even the sorrowful Church Camp campers are present. Ruby sits down at the table on the far right, along with four other boys who are also dressed in black suits with flippers on their feet and masks on her heads. "These are my bitches, the Dive Camp."

Ruby looks slightly disturbed by how that was described but is very curious about the whole camp. As she starts plowing into the borderline-tasteless plate of oatmeal, which are served by the Quartermaster. "Mmm, you've found a good place to be." The creepy man mumbles as he passes Ruby.

As breakfast is about to come to an end, Paul slams his fist into the table. "Yo, Linda!" He shouts to the girls of Dance Camp. "Where's our gossip?"

The Band Camp then starts chanting, "Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!" Most of the other campers take up the chanting. But at the same time, Chucky and Abuse Camp are continuously chanting, "Orgy-porgy! It is fun! Kiss the kids and make us one!" Ruby stares at the campers, wondering what an 'orgy' is or where that came from.

Quartermaster rolls his eye at the display and walks away. As he's leaving Linda, a girl about our height with long brown hair, stands up and causes everyone to start clapping loudly. "Alright. Here's the big gossip for today! Ridley Ire isn't a happy camper today because he got shrecked last night. I can't say who did it, but what I do know is that he spent hours clearing out the plastic scorpions." The other campers start laughing hysterically while Ridley blushes deeply. Ruby also notices Scotty smiling slightly at hearing the news. "My next piece of news is that with the annual social coming up tonight, many of the boys here are having wet dreams of a certain lead diver."

Many of the boys pale in terror while the girls laugh. Maria, however, starts blushing madly. "Thank you." Everyone erupts into applause at hearing the news. Ridley, however, is more than outraged at hearing what happened. "Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to mention one last thing. Sergeant Pepper, apparently, your father died in the hospital today."

The color drains from Ruby's face, and she looks at the Band Camp member, who is now sitting there in shock. "Alright, enough of the gossip. When is our soccer game?" Chucky asks, with several other campers mumbling among each other in agreement.

"Shut up!" The boy who is in Argument Camp shouts loudly, "It's football. Only Americans call my favorite sport that."

"What's wrong with the title of soccer, nitwit?" An Abuse Camper asks.

"That putrid name sounds like, and is, a game for apathetic pussies." A brief moment passes, then everyone then starts arguing with each other at the top of their voices. Meanwhile, Ruby is just staring at the crowd with a bewildered look. Does this one sport really create such passion in its fans? By this point, the campers' arguments start to turn violent with fists flying in all directions.

"I don't want to be here anymore." Ruby mutters, then gets up amid the chaos going down and starts walking away from the pavilion area.

She then starts sprinting as fast as possible, without using her semblance, through the open space, hoping to find a way back to Campbell or even Beacon, she suddenly notices a large rock sticking out of the ground and stumbles. Ruby falls face-first into the ground and lets out a slight moan of pain before blacking out.

When her eyes flutter open, she finds herself sitting on a bed and staring up at the ceiling. "Do you realize where you are?" Ruby then turns her head to see Maris sitting there, an angry look upon her face. "This would be the spare counselor's cabin; if our prick-tease of a founder invested more money into this nightmare. And of course, stupid-ass Gwen is so busy over at the rest of Campbell that she's forgotten about us."

"Well, then I'll make sure you guys are treated right. But that doesn't mean you should shut out those who could help."

"Bullshit. Everyone I trusted has abandoned me; I prefer the way things are, and you will not fuck this up for me. By the way, why do you care about Camp Campbell?"

Ruby looks up to the ceiling, the answer clear. "Because I have friends there. I've already been separated from some of the best friends I've ever had in my life, friends that I may never see again. That is why the new friends I've got are worth it, and I will never give up on them."

"…Fine. Tomorrow morning, you will be taking part in the daily football game and the other fun activities we have set up. You will learn to be a part of our group, whether you like it or not." With that, Maria gets up and walks towards the door and leaves the cabin.

Ruby gets up and walks towards a nearby window, which is barred by thin sheets of metal. She then lets out a long sigh and gets into a running stance. As she tries tapping into her semblance, she realizes with a start that she can't use her semblance! Her face smashes against the wooden door and she bounces off.

"Ow." Ruby mutters, holding her swelling nose. She then looks down at her hands. "Why can't I use my semblance? My Aura must have been locked again after all." Suddenly, the door swings open and Chucky is standing there, framed in the doorway and a duffel hanging at his side.

"Looks like you're feistier than I thought; I like that. I'll cause a distraction, and you will get the fuck out of here."

"Why are you helping me?" Ruby asks, a little suspicious.

"I'm not doing it for you; I've been trying to get that controlling pile of monkey shit Maria shrecked for weeks now. What better way to see dickless get all riled up than you slipping from her fingers?"

"You know, I should introduce you to my friends at Camp Campbell; you'd like them, especially Max."

"Max… is that the Indian boy who was friends with our last counselor, my uncle of the same name? Too bad the deadbeat got kicked out of camp. Stupid asshole video-taped himself masturbating."

"Masturbating? What's that?"

Chucky Jr. stares at her with a stupefied look. "You're stupid, you know that?" He then slams the door shut. Ruby zips open the duffel that Chucky Jr. gave her, and notices a plain red shirt, jeans and a pair of… grey and black gloves?

Shrugging, Ruby quickly gets changed into the new clothes, stuffing her old outfit into the duffel. She then notices the piece of cloth. Smiling, she takes the cloth and wraps it around her forehead, keeping it under her hair, and ties it back tightly.

"Let's go." She then opens the door for the counselor's cabin, duffel on her shoulder. As she sneaks through the night-blanketed woods, hiding behind trees all the way, she suddenly hears lots of whooping.

"Pantie raid!" Chucky Jr. is shouting, holding up a pair of girl's underwear with his fellow Abuse Campers trailing behind. Maria and many of the other girls at the overall camp are chasing after them, screaming bloody murder.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Ruby mutters, then starts making her way towards the lake, where the pirate ship is docked. Right next to it is a small, rickety boat. "Perfect." She then takes a running jump into the boat, grabs the pair of oars sitting on either side, and starts rowing away from the shore as quickly as possible. "See you guys later!" Ruby then laughs out-loud upon seeing the other campers look upon her in dismay.

Ruby continues rowing down the lake, thinking back to her days at Camp Campbell and what she will say once she gets back. "Gwen, you and I are going to be having some words."

As Ruby continues rowing, she slowly approaches the part of the lake where thick storm clouds blanket the sky. The boat immediately skids to a stop on the rocky shore, and Ruby gets out. "Now, where am I?"

Suddenly, a loud siren goes off in the distance. Curious, Ruby makes her way to the source of the sound. Not a mile further does she encounter a massive obstacle course filled with wooden towers and posts, with a long ropes course stretching out as far as Ruby can see.

"You know. Maybe I don't hate Camp Campbell. Maybe I hate everything." Says a very familiar voice. Ruby looks closer at the field, and sure enough, Max is dangling upside down in the middle of the course, hanging over a pit with a sign labeling it as a 'God Forsaken Hell-Hole.'

Smiling, Ruby makes her way down to her new friend. "Hey, Max. How are you holding up?"

Max notices Ruby, and his eyes widen. "Ruby! Thank God you're here. Get me down from here!"

"If I do, can I please have your cookies that we get for dinner tonight?"

"Fine, whatever. Get me down from here."

Smirking in triumph, Ruby makes her way towards the tower, climbs up it nimbly, and slowly pulls Max back onto his feet. "So, what have you been up to today?" Ruby asks cheerfully as they walk back to the boat to return to Camp Campbell.

All Max did was glower at Ruby.

* * *

 _AN:_ Hello, everyone. I hope you liked this chapter, and I look forward to doing many more.

I am so sorry for not posting sooner; I have had many trips for the last few weeks and unable to do any writing.

Anyway, see you all next time with the next episode.

PS: Can anyone tell me whether or not I should give off a list of which Camp Camp episodes are being featured in the coming chapters? Also, did you like third person perspective more than 1st? I would love to hear your thoughts, make up a tally (which closes next Tuesday), and the final verdict on what I should do will be shown by the next chapter.


	3. A Life Changer

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

Long after the sun had set, and the whole moon is shining brightly in the night sky, Ruby is sitting comfortably on the solid ground next to her friends.

Not even a week had passed since she had escaped from the crazy place called the Twilight Zone by the crazy people who live there, and already some crazy things have happened. Max decided to start a revolution against the camp counselors who were forcing us to clean camp for the arrival of Mr. Campbell. Then things fell apart when most of the campers voted on Ered to take charge, causing Max, Neil, Ruby, and Space Kid to rebel against the party-crazed Camp Cool Kidz. After a tough and gritty battle, and Ruby digging a deep trench, Cameron Campbell puts a swift end to the rebellion and sets everything back to normal.

Now, after several days of getting over the misery of losing that battle, most of the camp is asleep, aside from the quartet of Max, Neil, Nikki, and Ruby, along with Space Kid, David, and Gwen. They are sitting around a camp fire and telling each other ghost stories while chowing down on s'mores; something that Ruby has gained a hankering over. Only Max's snarky, "I fucking dare you," has stopped Ruby from eating all of the s'mores in the area. Right now, David is telling his campers and fellow counselor his idea of a ghost story.

"The thing drew closer, with its inhuman breathing and claws clicking against the floor with each step. Desperately, the boy pulled the sheet off the creature to reveal… the dog that got tangled up in his laundry! Ooooohhh! And that's why you should always properly fold and put away your laundry."

Ruby stares at David for a moment before laughing hysterically. "That is the best story I've ever heard in my life!"

"Well, it was scary when it happened to me. I was very innocent and impressionable back then."

"Relax, David, I hear you." Ruby answers, scratching her new headband. She decided to also change her outfit up, so she put back on her new jeans now cut to be short shorts, a red tank top, the same gloves that are apparently called Power Gloves, and when she was given the standard yellow Camp Campbell T-shirt, she ripped it up and turned it into a long bandana with two strands of the cloth falling down to her mid-back. Ruby would normally never part from her beloved red cloak, but it just kept getting in her way while working at Engineering Camp; and when Nikki used the cloak against Ruby to tie her up during the revolution, Ruby begrudgingly left it on her bed to use like the teddy bear Max supposedly has. Ruby honestly laughed when she heard that and dismissed the rumor immediately.

"So, last week?" Gwen asks in a bored manner, ignoring Ruby.

"What's scary is how much I want to want to kill myself right now." Max answers bitterly, rolling his eyes.

"You don't mean that!" Ruby states, her eyes wide with shock.

"Okay, okay. I got it." Gwen pipes up, trying to diffuse the situation. "So once, there was this girl. And no one really understood…"

"So God help me, if this involves vampire romance." Max threatens, glaring up at Gwen.

"It-it could have been werewolves. You don't know."

"Here's a horror story; look at the job market you're dealing with after this camp shuts down."

Ruby stares at Max with wide eyes. "So, nothing scares you, Max? Not even ghosts?" Space Kid asks, his mouth covered with molten chocolate.

"People in sheets got me concerned, but nah, not even ghosts. Just not a screamer." Max replies.

"Uh… people in sheets? Like on Halloween?" Ruby asks, confused by that reference.

"What about a space ghost?" Space Kid saves Ruby from an answer when his stomach makes a deep rumble. "Oh. That's strange." His stomach rumbles again, louder than better. "Um, mission control, I don't feel so good." Suddenly, a squirrel with an eyepatch bursts out of Space Kid's suit, screaming with Space Kid.

Ruby, Nikki, Neil, and David also scream loudly as the squirrel looks up at Space Kid angrily before rushing off to the woods. "Wait a minute." David says, rubbing his chin. "How is it you weren't even fazed by that?" Ruby is also thinking the same thing.

"Might've helped if I hadn't put it in his suit to begin with." Max replies flatly, causing Ruby and Nikki to grin widely.

"Alright, tough guy. Do you think you're so…tough?" David stops upon hearing the sounds of loud moaning. "What do you think about that moaning and wailing?"

"It's Sunday." Ruby answers, "it's the kids at Church Camp in the middle of their weekly sermon. Something about the current state of things."

"Bah!" David exclaims, pointing into the distance. "What about that ghost ship?" We all turn around to see a ship sailing through the thick fog on the lake. This sets off a new wave of screams from David, Nikki, and Neil. Max looks curious as to who they are.

"Oh, I know those guys." Ruby answers, pointing her right index finger to the sky, "that's Pirate Camp. Willy must be teaching his friends night sailing. Hi Willy!" When the ship emerges from the fog, the campers all shout out exclamations of hello.

Then, the leaves rustle violently behind them. Neil is the first to notice and he starts backing up. "Um, guys?"

"Guys!" Nikki shouts, getting the rest of their attention.

Ruby distinctly hears David muttering, "Please be puppy." Ruby then starts taking up the chant as well, when the brushes suddenly give way to the Quartermaster swinging his hook hand around. "What the blue ball blazes is happenin' here?" His sudden entry causes yet another wave of screams from David, Neil, Nikki, and Ruby.

"Ha! Whoo! Hey, Quartermaster!" David says after a moment, waving in a friendly manner.

"Someone out here killin' campers?" Quartermaster asks, lifting up his hook hand and his eye narrowing dangerously. Ruby shivers slightly, but also marvels at how shiny his hook is; she needs to get it or a spare and add it to her ever-growing collection of various items.

"We're fine, QM. Just having some good old camp-fire scary stories is all?" Gwen answers, visibly uncomfortable by her colleague.

"So… no dead campers, then?" QM asks, sounding disappointed.

"Nope. We're good." David replies gleefully.

"Damn." That response causes Gwen, Nikki, Neil, Ruby, and even Max to blink in surprise. Ruby becomes even more creeped out by this man. "And to be sure no one's doing anything stupid like trying to get over to…Spooky Island?" He then points at the island in the middle of the lake. Suddenly, lightning flashes across the sky and a loud crackle fills the air.

Ruby jumps into the air and hides behind Gwen. "Ah! I'm afraid of lightning!"

"What?" David asks incredulously. Ruby looks at David as she calms herself down, and something in his voice told her that David had some sort of experience on Spooky Island. "No, of course not."

"Not even on the night of the new moon, right? When the ghosts walk the island and demons rise from the pit, and aliens kidnap any trespassers, and probe their tender…"

"Oh-kay!" Gwen interrupts, "We get it. Don't we, kids?" Ruby looks up at Gwen, honestly grateful for not hearing all of what the Quartermaster was talking about.

"…Anuses." QM finishes, causing Ruby to hang her head slightly with her eyes twitching. "I was gonna say anuses." He then looks down at Space Kid, with the large hole gaping in his brown suit. "What's with space case?"

"Squirrel explosion." Max answers flatly.

"Ah." QM realizes, then adds in a dark tone, "So the revolution has begun. Well, best be getting' you back to camp for a rabe shot."

"Oh, not again." Space Kid protests as the counselors drag the young boy away.

As QM starts leaving, he suddenly turns around. Ruby jumps back in response. "Heed my words. You better stay away from Spooky Island. No reason to go there; definitely not spooky. Stay away." With that, he disappears into the bushes and is gone.

The four campers stare at the bushes, each with disturbed expressions on their faces…except Max. "I think he's hiding something." Nikki says suddenly.

"Uh, yes." Neil replies as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Nikki gasps. "Maybe it was the ghost he was talking about. Could you imagine meeting one?"

"I don't really want to go and find out the hard way." Ruby pipes up, her anxiety about the idea of going starting to show.

"Pssh! Ghosts don't exist!" Max says, "You die, and then you're faced with eternal nothingness. It's going to be great."

Ruby looks at Max with horrified eyes. "You don't really believe that?"

"How do you know?" Nikki challenges. "You've never died! Oh, can you imagine being the first person to find a ghost? Or a monster? You'd make the cover of Science magazine!"

During Nikki's short rant, Neil gets increasingly horrified. That is, until Nikki mentioned the last part. "Hey! That's a magazine about science!"

"That's how you win Neil over? Slap the title of science to it?" Ruby asks with exasperation. Then stars flash in Ruby's eyes. "Hey! Can you help me make some rocket fuel? For science, of course."

"Shut up!" Max shouts, making his fellow campers, especially Ruby, jump back. "There's nothing to be afraid of! And I'll prove it!"

"…By going to the island. You know, you got played on that one, Max." Ruby comments, looking very surprised by Max's decision.

After that decision was reached, Ruby decided to join in; her gut told her that what would happen on this adventure will change her life forever. They all rode together on a metal rowboat that was always tied to the dock to the island, joined by the apathetic yet loveable platypus.

"Alright, spook hunters!" Nikki exclaims the second they land on the island. "Let's hunt some spooks."

"Yeah!" Ruby shouts while pumping her arm in enthusiasm.

"Don't say that." Max says as he shakes his head while facepalming.

"Do we actually have a detective team name now?" Neil asks with wonder.

"Yeah! We shall call it Team RUBY!" Ruby shouts, then her face falls as she remembers briefly her old friends. Even now, she misses them a great deal. At least Ruby has made new friends to spend time with who share her predicament…somewhat.

"Nah. Too weird. Oh! But we need a theme song." Nikki then pulls out a small radio with two antennae sticking out in different directions and activates it. Several tunes emerge from the radio with synthetic instruments playing followed by a loud whistle playing a tune ripe with mystery and intrigue*. Ruby rather likes this theme, until Max smashes it to pieces with the oar while walking past casually.

"Hey!" Nikki exclaims angrily, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good pocket Theremin?"

"I'm counting on it!" Max says angrily.

"Relax, Nikki." Ruby pipes up, patting Nikki's shoulder. "I've got the spare back at camp."

"Come on, guys! Focus!" Max exclaims, then turns towards another set of bushes that are rustling violently and muffled voices coming from the other side. "Unless that's your back-up singer, we've already got company."

Max flicks on his red flashlight and shines it into the bushes. After a moment, a pair of electric blue eyes reveal themselves. The person on the other side jumps out, revealing a young boy about their age with brown hair, and dressed in a yellow shirt with purple lining, shorts and light-up shoes. He lets out a loud scream, prompting Neil, Nikki, and Ruby to scream as well. "Who the hell are you?" Max asks suspiciously.

"Me? I'm Jasper." Jasper says with slight indignation. "But who are you? What are you doing here? This is the last place you want to be on a night like this. Terrible creatures roam the mansion, and the wailing. Oh gosh, the wailing. Then the bumping, and the night starts, and they bump, bump…"

All the while, the quartet leave Jasper behind while he's still talking and make their way through the dark forest towards an old-fashioned mansion that is two stories tall, and a dull green color. Ruby lets out a small whistle, imagining that the mansion must have been quite a sight when it was freshly built; yet it gives off such creepy vibes Ruby can almost hear horror music playing in the background.

"Whoa." Nikki comments.

"What is this place?" Neil asks, looking increasingly anxious about the whole situation.

"Looks like Campbell's old summer home." Max notes, looking at a mailbox with the words 'C. Campbell' written in bold black letters. Suddenly, a series of loud moans emanate from the manor. Ruby stands her ground but is starting to feel shaken up. Something about this situation seems oddly familiar to her as well.

"What the hell was that?" Neil asks loudly.

"I told you, dude." Jasper replies, running towards them. Once he arrives, he places his hands on his knees. "There are **things** inside."

" **Things**?" Nikki asks, her eyes alight, "Like monsters? I knew it!"

"Wait." Jasper says, looking at her curiously. "Are you guys here to help stop the monsters? Are you like a gang of mystery solvers? Like the Harlem Globetrotters?"

"Pretty much." Neil answers smugly. "We don't have a name, though."

"Please don't rub it in." Ruby mumbles, disappointed none of them have any great ideas on that.

"Oh, wow!" Jasper says with excitement. "Do you guys have a theme song?"

"Again, please don't rub it in."

"We're working on it." Nikki answers Jasper's question.

"Radical."

"Look, man. You're kind of ruining our dynamic. We're a comedy **trio**. Ruby's the back-stage helper. Besides, there's nothing inside."

"There's something inside!" Nikki shouts, pointing up to the second level of the mansion. We all look up to see the silhouette of a burly beast, covered in fur, standing at the window. After a bolt of lightning arcs across the sky once again, the figure is gone.

"A monster!" Neil shouts in horror. Upon hearing the word 'monster,' Ruby gets into a fighting stance and starts looking around for any danger to herself and her friends.

"Yawn." Max says dully, his arms crossed.

"We'll see who's yawning when we're all dead!" Nikki says darkly, pointing at Max.

"Why would we…" Max starts but doesn't get to finish his thought as Nikki runs to the front door and kicks the door open. The others follow close behind, with Ruby whistling slightly, impressed by the kick. Maybe Nikki can teach Ruby some martial arts, since the bandana-wearing girl can't utilize hand-to-hand combat to save her life.

"All right, sasquatch!" Nikki shouts violently. "Let's tango!"

"Tango? What's that?" Ruby asks as she walks inside. Once again, a bolt of lightning crashes outside, causing Neil and Jasper to scream. Ruby shivers slightly, but she's just starting to get used to it.

"Calm down." Max says with an annoyed tone, "the storm just tripped the power."

"Aw. If only I had my LA Gear Light-up shoes." Jasper says, then adds, "they light up the night."

"Huh. That could be useful." Ruby mutters, mentally adding those shoes to her list of things she needs to own.

"Wonderful." Max also mutters, but with much less enthusiasm. He then shines his light to the right, revealing a tall brown bear looking down at them with its front paws hanging over them as if to attack. Neil, Nikki, Jasper, and Ruby all scream at the sight. Ruby is about to attack when Max adds, "It's a stuffed bear." She then stops and takes a closer look. She blushes, embarrassed that she almost got aggressive with it. Neil turns on his own flashlight. Only when he shines it in the opposite direction, it reveals a second brown bear which is also standing in an attacking position. Most of the campers, aside from Max, let out another short burst of screams. "It's a second stuffed bear!"

"Oh…" Neil says, almost disappointedly.

"That seems redundant." Nikki says.

"Yeah, and I think endangered." Max replies in a thoughtful tone.

"Let's just get the power back on." Neil murmurs as he's walking away from the bears warily, with Ruby in tow.

"Right!" Nikki exclaims. "We shall not wait waver on our quest for the undead."

Max rolls his eyes and clicks off his flashlight. "Nikki, there is nothing here."

Meanwhile, Ruby is rummaging through the cobweb-filled bookshelves at the books. "Huh." She pulls a thick tome out. " 'Secrets Certain Government Agencies Wants Anonymous'?" She opens the book to the index page and reading. "The X-Files, KGB Agents who Infiltrated the United States, Details of John F. Kennedy's Assassination, Location of Amelia Earhart's corpse, Evidence that Every Claim that Donald Trump Colluded with Russia are Actually Lies, Missing Eighteen Minutes of the Watergate Tapes, Images of a Strange Blue Man Throughout History, Project Perseus?" She snaps the book shut. "I like this book! Let's see if I can find any more on weapons."

Just then, Ruby hears a loud creaking sound and someone's muffled screaming. She turns around and one of the bookcases is replaced with a gray brick wall. "Neil!" Nikki shouts as she pounds on the wall.

"The hell did you do?" Max demands of Jasper as they also reach the wall.

"Calm down, man. I'm just trying to be part of the gang." Jasper replies airily.

"Oh my god!" Neil shouts on the other side, causing everyone to stand still and listen intently. "You have to get in here… **quick**!"

Ruby then notices the stone statue of Cameron with its hand pointed down. Ruby walks towards it and pushes it up. The gray wall groans in protest and Ruby manages to run towards the wall as it flips around. "Neil! What is it?" Nikki asks with concern in her voice.

"It's…beautiful!" Neil replies blissfully as he is staring at a wooden table covered with test tubes and other glass devices filled with multi-colored chemicals. "A lab! Do you know how long it's been since I was in a real lab? This is where I wanted to be this summer. Oh, my sweet science."

"Neil, you're starting to creep me out." Ruby mutters, backing away from him slightly.

"Weird science, more like. Check it." Max answers as he flips up a light switch.

Ruby looks around her, her eyes widening in horror as the room unveils itself. "Oh, that's much…" Neil then stops himself as he notices the monsters made from totally questionable experiments trapped in glass containers, with one even writing the words 'kill me' on its cage, and he screams alongside Nikki. "All right, that's it! I'm done!"

"You can't go yet." Jasper says desperately. "We still have to rid the island of the evil!"

"Yeah, come on, Neil! Shake it off! Don't lose your sense of adventure!" Nikki says while twirling a scalpel in her hands.

"Yeah! Whoever's behind these bad experiments must be stopped!" Ruby adds, then notices a modern-looking camera sitting on top of one of the tables. "I'll take this." She then grabs the camera and sets it on top of the book she's still carrying.

"I am not about this shit, Nikki!" Neil shouts while pointing towards the nearest glass box, containing a multi-eye…slug? Ruby's not exactly sure what it is, but after figuring out how to use this camera since it's so different from her scroll, she takes a picture of it. "Science has its limits."

"Don't be so naïve." Max answers while looking at an octopus with razor sharp fangs. "This is mild experimentation at best. You have any idea what goes into fast food? Probably that." He then points to the octopus.

Ruby's stomach gurgles violently upon hearing that. "Well, now I know I will never eat fast food again."

Not even a second after that declaration, they hear the moaning from before, only louder than ever before. They all walk to the left-hand side of the room, where they see a corridor that goes down, the hall illuminated by red light.

Nikki gasps. "The tormented souls of the dearly departed. And look, a trail of hair and blood!"

Ruby gulps slightly, really wanting to get back to the camp before anything too strange happens. "Who cares?" Max asks, starting to get annoyed. "It's just going to be a wounded dog or some other coincidental colossal waste of time."

"You're just scared!" Nikki says smugly.

"I am not scared. I feel like we've established this by now." Max replies, becoming even more annoyed.

But Nikki ignores Max's answer and bounces all the way to the bottom while chanting, "Max is scared!" After a few seconds, however, Nikki stops chanting.

Curious, and starting to feel a little scared herself, Ruby follows her friends to the bottom of the staircase. What Ruby and the others find on the bottom is a torture chamber, filled with multiple contraptions that look like they were ripped out of the middle ages. To add to the picture, everything is coated in blood.

Ruby stands there, barely holding onto her new possessions, feeling some vomit rise up into her mouth from the scene. "Oh, Jesus fucking lord." Neil says shakily, officially scared now.

"Well, we made it, Nikki. Are you happy now?" Max asks mockingly, holding his hands out.

"How are you still calm?" Ruby asks in a stunned tone, spitting out the vomit.

"My favorite childhood movie is the Shining." Max answers flatly.

"I don't want to be here." Nikki says, in shock of everything around her.

"You know what?" Jasper says. "On second thought, maybe the evil's unstoppable. We should all go home, play some pogs, forget this ever happened."

Neil nods in encouragement. "Take me with you." Ruby says quickly, stepping next to the two boys.

"Oh, no!" Max replies in an even more mocking tone. "We have to find ghosts and monsters! Remember?"

"I don't want to be here." Nikki says again.

"Max! Come on! This is way too spooky!" Neil protests, with Jasper and Ruby nodding their heads quickly.

"No, it isn't. You know what this is? Proof that the founder of Camp Campbell is a rich piece of shit with terrible morals, who also potentially kills people. All things I was pretty sure of!"

"I don't want to be here!" Nikki says once more, but more hysterical.

"But the monsters! The wails! You can't explain that!" Neil shouts.

"Actually…" Jasper is about to say, but is interrupted by the loud moaning, this time louder than ever before. Ruby looks to the source, which is behind a large wooden door outlined with metal. Jasper and Neil scream while Ruby starts shaking in her boots.

"The hell I can't!" Max replies as he walks towards the door. This earns protests from Ruby, Neil, and Jasper. "There is no such thing as monsters! There's no such thing as ghosts! And there's nothing. To be. Afraid of!" Max shouts as he grabs the metal circle hanging off the door and starts pushing.

"Don't!" Jasper protests, but it's too late; the door is already swinging inward.

What lies on the other side will haunt Ruby's nightmares and change her outlook on life forever. Her eyes, along with everyone else's, narrow in horror as they stare at the scene before them. It is a large room with a red drape hanging over the far wall and a banner hanging overhead saying 'Fantasy Island: No limits, no shame.' Spread throughout the room are multiple men and women, many of them short and riddled with wrinkled to show their old age. Two elderly men and a woman on the left of the room are dressed in weird black skimpy outfits with the dark-skinned, short woman with glasses holding a whip in her hand. Ruby then notices three people on the right wearing animal outfits with the female poised over something Ruby can't see, but she already knows what it is. The man pulls his mask off to reveal a middle-aged man with a balding head, brown eyes and round glasses. The person inside the blue animal suit just sits there, drinking out of his glass.

And in the midst of it all is the Quartermaster himself, standing behind a wooden table filled with cheese and fruit, a bottle of wine, and a box labelled 'Erectile DisFUNction Pills.' He then walks out from behind the table. Ruby drops her book and camera, which snaps a picture upon hitting the ground, once she notices that he's completely naked and that his hook hand is replaced with a purple version of what's between his legs. Worst of all, Ruby notices that one of his nipples has a ring pierced through it along with an unattractive potbelly.

"What the shit?" Ruby squeaks out, not realizing she just spoke her first cuss word.

"I warned you, **children**!" QM shouts in anger, jiggling the purple contraption around.

Max just stares at the scene, scarred for life. His eyes twitches involuntarily, and he does the last thing Ruby expected from him; he screams louder than anyone has done that night. The noise, coupled with the traumatizing scene, made Ruby's mind go blank and she can see her sight blur to pure blackness as she's falling backwards.

When Ruby wakes up again, she sits up. She notices that she's on a speed boat heading back to camp. Her book and camera are next to her, and her three new friends are sitting in the front, too horrified to say anything. Eyes widening, she turns around and notices that the Quartermaster is steering the motorboat, a white towel wrapped around his private area and his hook back on. Now that she's seen that, Ruby wants nothing to do with that hook hand. "Mmm… ruined my night. Probably the next one too."

Ruby looks back at the island where she went to. She briefly wonders where Jasper is, but right now, getting to sleep and trying to forget what she witnessed tonight is what she wants the most.

* * *

 _AN:_ Hey, everyone! Sorry about these late updates; I will try and get back to a normal schedule.

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I look forward to furthering Ruby's adventures in the world of Camp Camp.

*I wasn't going to do this, but I'm doing it anyway. If anyone didn't figure it out, I changed the tune to the original X-Files theme.

PS: What do you guys think of the new Red vs. Blue season (Season 16)? Even at the beginning, I loved the season. I liked Season 15 too, but it was honestly a little heavy-handed on the drama. Right now, my favorite episode is Caboose's Travels; so much so that I had to put it in here.

Cheers!


	4. David's Dark Secret

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"Ah! My cape is on fire!"

Max, Neil, Nikki, and Ruby are running around the field surrounding the stage where Preston Goodplay holds his rather unoriginal plays, trying to put out the fires that are on the verge of burning the entire camp down. At least, Ruby and Nikki are acting like they are putting out the fires, along with most of the other campers; Space Kid is running around and trying to put out the fire on his cape, while Neil and Max are hard at work secretly throwing around banners and discreetly causing more of a mess. All around them, loud sirens are blaring at a maddening pitch.

David is bordering on screaming out-loud, trying to stop the carnage. As he runs onto the stage, Max sneaks up on the side, climbs up a ladder that is leaning against the side, and uses a pair of scissors to cut down a red and white flag with a face printed on it. It falls on David's face, and he lets out an actual scream, one that Ruby and Max found amusing. The flames spread out in all directions and caught on the benches.

Ruby takes one of the buckets in her hands and splashes it on the theater floor.

"Thanks, Ruby. Kids, how about we break camp for today? I need to get cleaned up." David says, then with the flag over his head and some if his red hair on fire, David walks away from the chaotic pitch.

"You think we did it?" Nikki asks once she walks over. She then notices a small flame burning on her overalls, which she puts out by slapping it quickly.

"I'm going to go find out." Max says smugly before running off to the counselor's cabin, where Gwen is sitting around and most likely reading her smut magazines. Ruby would know; she raided the cabin once to see what the level-headed counselor does in her spare time, found her diary but instead stole one of her magazines to expand Ruby's ever-growing collection. While putting out the fires was a tedious job for the campers, at least they are up and doing something. And if Ruby's being honest with herself, she'd rather be involved in crazy situations than sitting around and learning about political history and fire safety…at the same time, for some reason.

The three friends then head back to the mess hall, where Space Kid is standing off to the side. "Hey, Space Kid. How's the cape doing?" Ruby asks, once she walks up to another friend of hers.

"Oh, hey Ruby. All systems are clean, and ready for blast-off." Space Kid replies, saluting her. The red-haired girls turns around and cups her mouth to suppress her fits of laughter.

"You know, Space Kid, I've been wondering. What exactly does it take to land a space-ship on a flat surface?"

Ruby and Nikki both tune out the conversation, each in their own thoughts. Nikki wishes she could be climbing trees and fighting with bears, while Ruby is wondering what new mad science she can concoct at Engineering Camp that would really blow them away.

"Oh, fascinating." She can barely hear Neil saying. "So, if you're parked the ship at a LaGrange point, then the combined gravitational…"

"Neil! Nik! Rubes! Let's go!" Max shouts as he runs towards us, then starts walking away.

"Hey! We're talking here!" Space Kid says defiantly, interrupting the three friends as they start walking away from the Mess Hall.

Max wouldn't have any of it, as he whirls around violently. "The moon landings were a hoax filmed in Area 51, orchestrated by the government as a publicity stunt designed to humiliate the Russians in the Space Race!"

Space Kid places his hands on his ears. "No! No, I can't hear you! I can't hear you!" He screams loudly as he's running away.

Max then turns towards his three friends. "This is it! He's finally cracking!" He says to them enthusiastically.

"Well, yeah, no wonder. You use that conspiracy theory on him like every other day." Neil replies, with Nikki nodding along.

"Yeah. Honestly, Max, it's started getting old." Ruby replies flatly.

"Not him; David! The revolution is working. He's going bonkers. And he's going into town!"

"What would David do?" Ruby wonders out-loud, mind-boggled that an outdoors-man like David would want anything to do with a city.

"Into town?" Nikki also asks, "to do what?"

"We're going to find out." Max answers, then the quartet leave the Mess Hall and make their way towards the only car that is at Camp Campbell. Along the way, they see Dolph talking with Nerris while showing off the 'Best Counselor of the Year' trophy he earned Max opens the trunk since David accidentally left the car unlocked. Quickly, they hid under the white curtain that's in the trunk of the car. Within minutes, they hear David humming to himself as he gets into the driver's seat. The engines reeve to life and the car drives away from Camp Campbell.

The drive itself is rather dull, with David humming to himself. That is, until Neil starts whispering. "Ah! Sweet 22.2 degrees Celsius, here we come!"

"You idiot!" Max whispers back, "this isn't about air-conditioning. This is our chance to study David."

"Eh, I always kind of dry out in AC." Nikki admits, drawing circles on the floorboard. "and it makes me sneeze."

"AC's a little overrated." Ruby adds, "In the summer, all I want to do is sit on a back-porch and sip lemonade while eating chocolate chip cookies. Maybe I ought to try it at the same time one day."

"Hush, you!" Max whispers, then looks at Ruby, "and you, that's fucking disgusting."

"Just what exactly do you think he's in to?" Neil asks, bringing up the big question of the day.

"Hookers and blow!" Nikki whispers quickly.

"What?" Neil and Max ask in shock.

"I don't know what it is, but my dad and his friends always said they wish they could do that for fun. And then they would laugh. Ha! Maybe that's what David likes." Nikki replies nonchalantly.

"Nik, trust me. You don't want to know why I know you're wrong." Ruby answers, her eyes widening dangerously. Ruby was told by Max that hookers are like the mercenaries she's seen in action movies with her dad and sis, but instead of being paid to kill people, hookers are paid to suck their client's dicks.

"Look, there's no way anyone that happy can possibly exist. He's got to have a weakness. And I'm going to find it." Max answers back in a determined manner.

Their conversation quiets down when they hear David fiddling with his radio. "And for today's top story, the city of Austin, Texas is holding yet another parade today in honor of local superheroes X-Ray and Vav. And now, we've got the misfit heroes with us today to talk about their experience. X-ray..."

Then they hear the radio warbling and a new voice starts speaking. "At number one on the album chart is an LP by a band from Boston. Their album is called, 'Freeze-Frame.' And, it features the new number one song in the USA. Here's the J. Geils Band with the number one song in the land, 'Centerfold!'" Then a song starts playing with instruments that sound neat to Ruby's ears. She makes a mental note to get her hands on this 'Freeze-Frame' album soon since it sounds cool.

"Nah. Sounds too trashy." David murmurs before switching the station once again.

"Welcome to the audio edition of the Farmer's Almanac for the year of our Lord 1972…" The four friends then look up at the ceiling with slightly surprised looks. Deciding to risk it, they slowly sit up. The sheet falls off of them as they stare at David's back with disbelief as he listens. "Includes weather forecast for all regions of the USA as well as planning and zodiac secrets for every month."

"Oh-hoh, this one's going to be good!" David says with enthusiasm, honestly preferring this to 'Centerfold.'

"You've got to be kidding me." Neil says as the four slump to their knees and out of sight.

"He has. To have. A weakness!" Max whispers-shouts as he grips Nikki's arm. She winces slightly, surprised at his strength.

"You're hurting me." Nikki admits.

Max lets go and they get themselves as settled as possible. Then, for who knows how long, the four endure the ever-monotonous radio voice. "It's the one hundred ninety sixth year…" Suddenly, the car stops and the radio shuts off. Within a second, the car door opens up before slamming shut.

"Oh, sweet release." Ruby says loudly a second later, smiling widely.

"Finally! Back in the real world!" Max exclaims happily.

"Sweet, sweet, sweet civilization!" Neil also says, hugging himself.

"Uh, guys? Not so much." Nikki says, looking out.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asks as she finds the handle on the inside and twists it. The trunk door opens, revealing… a town much like one would find in the old West.

"What fresh hell is this?" Neil asks as he gets out, a horrified look on his face.

"There's…there's nothing. What does anyone do around here for fun?" Max demands, falling to his knees.

"Fun?" The four then turn towards the porch of one shop, where two older men are sitting on rocking chairs. One has long grey hair and a thick mustache while the other is noticeably taller and has a darker skin tone. "There's been no fun here since Aut. Nine."

"Something happen here a few years back?" Neil asks curiously, with the others wondering the same thing.

"Nineteen oh-nine." The mustached man replies, earning worried and confused looks. While Ruby doesn't understand how years are measured here, she knows that it sounds like a long time ago. "When the mayor actually outlawed fun. The great naked ankle incident of '09. Well, somebody's always got to push it too far and ruin it for everyone else. Ugh."

"What the heck? How does that even make sense?" Ruby asks, baffled that something like this could ever happen.

"Okay?" Max replies, also a little confused. He then turns his head and notices David walking down the street and strolling past a small bank. "Oh, damn it! Target's in motion! Let's move out, guys!" He then turns around and notices that Neil and Nikki aren't there, but Ruby's still standing there. They then notices Neil peering into the window of an electronics store, his blue eyes alight.

"Great Scott." Neil says blissfully, his eyes never leaving the electronics on display.

"Neil?" Max asks with concern. "Neil? Neil, we've got to go! Nikki, how about…?" He then stops once he notices Nikki staring at a clothes store.

"I've got this." Ruby says, then runs across the street to give pursuit to David while Max talks with Nikki. She places her back against the wall and starts sliding towards the side. Once on the corner, she looks around the corner, but fails to see the counselor she is coming to respect. She then looks back to see Max talking rather loudly with Neil and Nikki. Ruby shakes her head and starts to carefully walk down the street. As she's walking down the street, she then notices a large sign that catches her attention. She looks up to see a sign titled 'Muffin Tops' with neon signs on either side saying 'Girls, Girls' on the left with the sign on the right saying 'Mostly Girls.' "Huh. I'm actually kind of hungry."

With that, Ruby walks inside the bar. What Ruby sees is horrifying; the inside is full of older men and an occasional woman who are surrounding a single octagonal-shaped table with checker decorations. On the stage is a rather unattractive woman with long red hair and wearing flashy diamond-looking undergarments and dancing around in a manner that flaunts her looks*. The people are cheering for the woman, who continues dancing around a long metal pole. "This isn't a bakery. Wait; Is this one of those strip clubs I keep hearing about from Max?" Ruby mutters as she ducks down low and strolls around the stage, avoiding the burly man with sunglasses, wearing jeans and a black muscle shirt that says 'Let's Bounce.' She eventually manages to sneak around to the opposite side of the chamber. The young huntress-in-training flinches upon hearing people whooping loudly, then notices a series of doors down a long corridor. She quickly opens one of the doors, steps inside and slams the door shut.

Ruby lets out a breath. That is, until she hears someone coughing behind her. With a cold tingle stretching down her neck, Ruby turns around to see a terrifying sight. The Quartermaster is sitting on a plain bed, his clothes still on for the moment.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, missy? Trying to ruin my time with a bouncy blonde stripper now? Beat it!" QM shouts, waving a prosthetic hand with a closed hand with the index finger sticking straight. Ruby screams loudly, leaving the room and running out of the club as quickly as possible. By the time she's outside, she slams the door shut and runs in the opposite direction of the strip club. Once she reaches the porch of a closed-down pawn shop, Ruby sinks to her knees.

"Why does this shit have to happen to me?" Ruby moans, crying slightly. Before she can finish getting over what she just witnessed, she then notices something across the street. She stands up and walks towards a Western-stylized building of impressive size, which is proclaimed as a 'World History Museum.'

Curious as to what it's like, Ruby very cautiously walks inside, not noticing Max and Nikki walking towards a bar. What she sees inside makes her whistle, impressed. While there is a counter with a bored-looking teenager, Ruby can see a huge red bi-plane that looks like it was made decades ago in clean condition. The teen looks at Ruby, and his head snaps up. "'Ello, missy. Where are your parents?"

Ruby winced, not wanting to truthfully talk about her family issues. "My parents dropped me off at one of the nearby summer camps. I wonder, what exactly does this place have some awesome weapons to look at or something?"

"Look, I can't let you in. You gotta pay the toll." He then points towards a sign on the counter. "If I don't get no tolls, I don't get no rolls."

Ruby groans, not being able to look at awesome weapons or the plane. Who knows, maybe David can take them on a field trip one day. David! "Sorry, sir, but have you seen a man walk in here? Tall, kind of scrawny, screams in a funny manner, looks like this." She then shows him a picture of David she took with her new camera.

The man looks at it with a concentrated look. "Mmm… Yeah. He was all mutter and talking about how a bunch of kids were really screwing him over and how he needs supplies for what's to come. I saw him passing on Plain Street as my shift started."

"Okay, but what direction was he going?" Ruby asks, wanting a clearer answer.

The boy shrugs in response. Ruby then hears feet shuffling near her, and she looks up to see an extremely elderly man standing there. He has thinning white hair, a white moustache on his upper lip, and is wearing circular shades over his eyes. "Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot!" The man says, grinning widely before leaving the museum.

"Who was that?** And was he hitting on me?" Ruby asks, blushing slightly from the interaction. She then turns around and walks away, leaving the boy behind the counter bored once again.

Once outside, Ruby then notices what she's been looking for; David, who is walking inside a store. Without giving much more thought, Ruby runs down the street then turning on her heels and walking through the sliding glass doors. Standing there are Max and Nikki with their backs to Ruby.

"A hardware store? I don't get it." Max says.

"What's going on, guys?" Ruby asks once the doors slide shut. The duo turns around.

"Where the hell have you been?" Max asks, with Ruby looking at Nikki with concern. She's been changing her look from a girl who loves the country to a weird urban girl with her hair braided back who also can't stand straight.

"Bouncing around town. You know how it goes." Ruby answers, not wanting to get into any more detail.

"Whatever. We spread out and see what David's up to." Max says. The trio then split up and go down separate aisles. Ruby walks down one of the aisles, lined with hunting knives and… Biff Cow Manure, of all things. She then ducks around the corner as David walks past with a rope over his shoulder. The huntress-in-training then follows him to another aisle filled with masks, her favorite being the hockey mask, chainsaws, saws, axes, machetes, drills, and lots of plastic wrap. David grabs one of the axes and swings it downward before walking away.

Ruby looks away, feeling a sense of dread as to what David has become. She then follows him to another row where he starts violently pulling a hunting knife out of a pumpkin that looks suspiciously like Max. Not even a moment later, Max grabs her hand and starts pulling her away. "We need to get the fuck out of here." Max says, deeply disturbed.

Ruby couldn't agree more, and makes a mad dash with her friends out of the hardware store before making their way back to the electronics store Max left Neil at. Ruby looks at the middle-aged man with disgust as he walks past the trio holding a blender in his hands; she remembers all too well the orgy she witnessed, and that he was dressed up as a monster. "Neil! Red alert!" Max says, panting.

"Huh?" Neil asks with confusion.

"This is it! He's snapped!" Max shouts, grabbing the green straps of his new green apron. "We've got to go."

"But we don't close 'til…" He then notices Nikki and his eyes widen with shock. "By taxless coils!" Once he breaks free from Max's grip, he walks towards Nikki. Her eyes are twitching involuntarily and her skin is visibly becoming grayer.

"What?" Max asks, turning around and finally noticing his friend on the edge. "Wait. Who are you, and what have you done with Nikki?"

"Oh, now you finally notice?" Ruby asks snarkily, deciding that was the best time for sarcasm.

"Max…" Neil asks slowly. "What did you do to her? Is she dying?"

"She was with me the whole time we were running around…town." Max answers slowly, realizing what is going on.

"Need…nature. Nikki…go home." Nikki replies weakly, then coughs up blood on Neil's apron.

"Seriously? City life is literally killing you?" Ruby mutters, baffled by this logic. The four then hear the honking of a car. They scurry over to the window, where David is loading up the box filled with supplies.

"He's here!" Max exclaims, becoming increasingly alarmed.

"Wait. What is all that stuff?" Neil asks, as he looks at the box being loaded up.

"He's going to kill me!" Max shouts at the top of his lungs.

"What?" Neil asks with shock. David seems like the last person on the planet who would so such a thing.

"We went too far!" Max replies loudly.

"What do you mean 'we?'" Neil bites back angrily. "This is all you!"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to drive him to **murder**!" Max explains frantically. "I just wanted to show him that his entire philosophical outlook on life is flawed, and that the fundamental beliefs and ideologies he holds so dearly are trivial, so he'll start crying himself to sleep like the rest of us! I'm not a monster!"

"Wow. You've put some thought into that, Max." Ruby answers, then notices something. "Guys. Is it just me, or did things just get a lot darker?"

With a gulp, they look up to see the furious face of David staring down at them. "Max…"

"Whoa." Neil whimpers, never having David this angry in all his life, while Nikki starts hacking up more blood.

"Hi David." Nikki adds weakly.

Even Ruby is on the verge of crapping herself, but she manages to awkwardly wave up at the counselor. "What she said. On a completely unrelated note, can I have a bundle of cookies and that hockey mask you bought before I die?"

After a few minutes, the four kids are loaded into the back of the car and they start rolling away. The ride is in complete silence, which makes things even scarier.

"I'm suddenly regretting multiple recent choices." Neil admits, looking away from the window.

Nikki groans loudly before responding. "This is all your fault, Max."

Ruby just remains silent, holding a hockey mask in her hands and trying to keep her hands form shaking.

"Shut up!" Max answers. "This is fine. As soon as we get back to camp, we'll find Gwen and…"

"Wait." Neil interrupts. "He's not taking us back to camp." Sure enough, they pass by the turn-off for the camp, next to a giant bulletin board showing a much younger Cameron Campbell giving the Camp Campbell salute.

"All I've ever tried to do is help you." David starts ranting angrily. "I keep trying to tell you about the joys of camping, of being part of a team, of helping your fellow campers. But no. You never try; you just push and push and push." As the rant goes on, the friends look at each other and their sense of doom only grows. "I don't know what to say anymore. I've got nothing left. You've left me no choice."

The car suddenly stops. Ruby quickly formulates a plan on how she can subdue David long enough so her friends can escape, and it involves the rope sitting on her lap.

Then he takes the materials at their laps, except for the hockey mask, and starts working away. Time keeps on slipping when Ruby hesitantly makes her way to the door and pushes it open.

"Are you…fucking serious?" Max asks incredulously while Ruby blinks with shock. David is putting on the final touches for a makeshift camp.

"Yay!" Nikki shouts with glee as she pushes past the others and starts rolling on the ground, somehow returning to normal; something Ruby questions, but welcomes nonetheless.

"You sick bastard. Your getaway from the camp is to go camping?" Max shouts angrily, veins bulging along his neck.

Ruby, however, grins. "David, you are the most unique person I've ever met. You're so awesome!"

"Thank you, Ruby." David answers, then looks at Max. "Well, I don't know what to tell you anymore about how cool camping can be. All I can do now is show you!"

Max, however is fuming with rage with having an eye twitching violently. Neil and Ruby decide to walk slowly away from them, but he grabs their hands. "The hell do you think you're going?"

"I've got to get back to work." Neil answers. "I've even got a 401k, whatever that is."

"Are you kidding? I wanna celebrate the fact we dodged a major bullet today." Ruby adds, still smiling widely.

"Come on, guys!" David says giddily. "Did you know I have the Farmer's Almanac on tape? If we start now, we can finish 1973!"

That causes a loud series of groans from all the kids. "Not what I envisioned for this trip, David." Ruby pipes up.

Max is his usual self when he shouts, "Just kill us already!"

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, that was fun.

Just a quick announcement; to do justice to Camp Camp, I will be covering all three seasons of the series. Thus, since I only have so much time in the summer, I will be cutting to one of the last episodes of the next chapter.

See you then!

*I never went to any of these places; I just looked up an image on the Internet.

**I give applause to any who can give a shout-out as to who he is.


	5. The Order of the Sparrow

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"You got this, Ruby!" Gwen shouts loudly, while many of the other campers are staring with interest.

For the last two weeks since the traumatizing return from the local town called Sleepy Peak and return to Camp Campbell, the counselors have been talking to them about a local event called the Camp Lilac Camporee every day. Ruby already knew what she wanted to bring to the Camporee, so she managed to coax David into going to town and buying three different pistols. Then, at her camp, she disassembled them and mixed the pieces of each weapon, along with a clip of ammo each, with three large piles of scrap metal she found inside the old building.

This preparation is better than what any of the other campers have done; considering the fact they just walk past, not paying the counselors any attention. Thus, when the Camporee started, things didn't go so well for Cameron Campbell, who returned to camo to help oversee the event. It also wasn't helped when he raised the stakes; essentially, if Wood Scouts won, Camp Campbell and its campers go to the Wood Scouts, but if Campbell won, he gets all of the Wood Scout's popcorn money. To most people, even Ruby, that choice was about as asinine as the time Neil tried to recreate Harrison's magic acts.

The Flower Scout's 'beginner's challenge' consists of three spiked balls, a balance beam, and a pool of what looks like poison. Only Nikki and Ruby, albeit barely, managed to complete the task. The Wood Scouts did better, with Petrol getting knocked out, and the Flower Scouts triumphed. Then the rest of the challenges they had went disastrously; Space Kid blew up the oven while baking cookies, something that made Ruby sob and wish she did that challenge, Nerris tried to cast a spell on her flowers only to knock the fences down in frustration, and Ruby literally got tied up in ribbons. If there's any bright side to things, it's that the Wood Scouts sucked almost as much as the Campbell campers at the Flower Scout's challenges.

The end results got everyone riled up and wanting to turn it around so they don't become fascist militant peons. Then came the Wood Scouts' challenges. First up was a challenge where contestants had to row to Spooky Island and back. Naturally, the muscle-bound Petrol, having been pulled out of the acid bath, pushed the Wood Scouts to victory. The consistency and the voice of Sasha on a megaphone got the Flower Scouts to finish in second. As for the Campbell campers, they barely made it past the docks, then Nikki's inexperience kicked in; they rowed in circles for almost a half hour while Ruby, who was rowing the hardest and quickest, was shouting about how teamwork will win the day. Then the trouble began anew; they had to crawl under barb-wired fences, which really got the Flower Scouts in trouble. Camp Campbell managed to rack up some points from Ruby proving herself to be quite the sharpshooter, almost beating Petrol despite him using two shotguns, Neil ended up getting a sprained leg after falling off a waterfall while in a wooden barrel, and Petrol climbed up a steep cliff like nobody's business. The only one who could even come close was Nerf, but after the psychology from David and Gwen, he didn't take the challenge as aggressively as he would have.

Once those results came in, Gwen ran towards them like a bull charging at the color red. While Ruby didn't quite agree with Gwen's pep talk, she still cheers loudly. Admittedly, she also agrees about the state of their camp's sub-par indoor plumbing. Hell, she even saw a full-grown centipede crawl out of one last week.

The turn-around point started at Round 11, when Neil got himself and their competitors to brew a stable nitroglycerin. Naturally, Neil won the challenge rather than burning down their table or causing Petrol to receive more burn scars. Then came Harrison's round, which he easily dominated with the cliché rabbit-in-a-hat trick. Ruby wonders if her friend Velvet would hate that trick. The others… well, Sasha's hair became the platypus's new chewing toy and the Wood Scouts ended up setting fire to a tree. Round 13 involved Ered providing a challenge in the form of motorcycle repair. The Wood Scouts ended up disabling the motorcycle provided permanently and the Flower Scouts didn't exactly help the situation. Then was supposed to come Nerris's challenge, but since it involved too much imagine, Ruby stepped up with her own challenge.

"Assemble a high-powered handgun from this tall pile of scraps! And then give it a go!" Ruby says gleefully, standing next to three large piles of scrap metal.

The rival campers glance at the piles, gulping slightly, before everyone starts digging in. Max stands off to the side, whistling slightly as Ruby's digging through her pile. While Petrol is the quickest, he ends up scattering the pieces everywhere. The Flower Scouts, however, are barely pushing anything aside. As Tabii shifts through their pile for the gun parts, she ends up pulling the wrong sheet of metal out and the whole pile falls on her, muffling her screams of shock.

Ruby, knowing what to look for better than even the Wood Scouts, manages to grab the parts of her magnum pistol, assembling it on the grassy ground next to the pile, and clicks in the ammo. Then she stands up and points the gun at the far-left wooden post where Ruby stuck on images of people's faces; on the left is an image of a young boy with wavy brown hair and brown eyes*, the middle face is of a darker-skinned woman with straight black hair and a face that shows her greatest talent is in bed*, and the image on the far right is of a tall dark-skinned man with a strong jawline, extremely short black hair and piercing black eyes*.

Ruby points her magnum at the brown-haired boy's face and fires the gun six times, each one hitting the head. As the full points are issued for Camp Campbell while none of the others get any points for not even coming close to having a finished gun, Ruby looks down at her new weapon she built by hand, a gun that was once a desert camouflage color but now scraped off so the original color is but dots all over. "I love this gun; so much that I'm going to name it. Everyone, I would like you to meet…Freckles! Freckles, say hello." She then cooes at her weapon, bordering on cuddling her replacement of Crescent Rose. This earns her deeply disturbed looks from the foreign campers.

"Okay then." Billy mutters, taking a huge step back from Ruby. Sasha looks at her with slight horror while Erin pulls a traumatized Tabii out from under the scrap pile.

Even Gwen can't resist making a comment. "Huh. Why am I having flashbacks to Fatal Attraction right now?"

Then, as Ruby walks away and cleans up Freckles and join her fellow Campbell campers, Nikki leads the group towards their challenge. "Round 15!" Nikki says with arms crossed. "Cross-species communication."

All six rival campers stare at Nikki like she's lost her mind, almost as bad as the stares they gave Ruby when they found out about her borderline-fetish of weapons. "But…that's impossible!" Pikeman protests, terrified about what's to come.

Within seconds, they turn their attention to the Quartermaster as he hauls out a rattling cage. Upon setting it down, QM pulls the hatch open to let the wolf inside charge out. It barreled towards Nikki with murderous intent, when she turned around and starts making her own barks at the wolf. It stops in its tracks, actually listening to Nikki before whimpering. It is a smug Nikki who turns around and points her finger at the six. "Kill."

As ordered, the wolf charges at the six who run into the bushes while screaming their heads off. The Campbell campers look at the final score board, sweating under the pressure as the numbers are added up. Within a second, the final score is provided: Camp Campbell wins, with the Wood Scouts barely beating the Flower Scouts. "Camp Campbell wins!" Cameron shouts excitedly.

Most of his campers start cheering loudly in triumph while Max just stands there, bored. Then David comes over with a wide smile on his face. "Well, I think we all learned a valuable lesson today."

"Don't ever work together!" Nikki exclaims, to which Ruby shakes her head in disagreement.

"Uh, no." David answers, his smile gone and arms hanging at his side.

"Well, yeah." Neil adds, "Things seemed to really turn around when we each just did our own thing."

"Sadly." Ruby admits.

"But, guys…" David protests, "That's a really narrow-minded way of looking at things."

"David." Max says, "No one cares." He then drops the trophy and walks away with the rest of the campers.

Ruby looks up at David with a sad look in her silver eyes. "Don't worry. Max will turn around sometime, I know it." But as she says it, she starts to doubt it. She then walks away from the counselors to join the campers. As the young girl's leaving, she hears Cameron walk up to the counselors.

"Congratulations, counselors! Thanks to you, I've made 50 dollars. Well, back to Thailand!" Ruby turns around and is about to give a piece of her mind to the founder of camp, but he's already left and Gwen is walking away with a hateful look on her face. As David's standing there, alone, the wolf jumps on him. As he's screaming, Ruby runs back to her favorite counselor and smacks the butt of Freckles into the wolf's head as she's out of ammo. The wolf growls at Ruby, but decides not to engage her and instead runs back into the forest.

"David, do you need help?" Ruby asks, helping David to his feet.

"Thank you, Ruby. Let's join the others." David answers, truly depressed about something.

They then walk back to the group, with Ruby looking up at him with concern.

For the whole rest of the afternoon, everyone at Camp Campbell hangs around the campfire and roasting more s'mores, to which Ruby had seconds and third helpings. As the sun set along the horizon and the campers went into their tents to call it a day, Ruby looks at David and Gwen. David is still as dejected as ever, something that disturbs Ruby deeply.

She gets settled in her bed, with Nikki falling asleep as soon as she jumps on the bed. Ruby then decides to get out of bed and go to her trunk, opening it up and putting Freckles inside. She then grabs the picture of the main group of Camp Campbell and stares at it after getting re-settled. The picture makes it painfully obvious that barely anyone cares about the camp, judging by their apathetic looks, aside from a grinning David and a winking Ruby while holding up two fingers. For some reason, this scene feels strangely familiar to Ruby, though she can't tell how it is similar. "David, I care." With that, Ruby blows out the flame in the nearby lantern and falls asleep with the picture in her arms.

* * *

It feels like barely a second passes when a loud trumpet sounds outside the tent. Ruby lets out a slight moan as she pushes herself out of bed and walks out of the tent in a zombie-like fashion, Nikki following close behind.

The duo then look around, noticing that every other camper in the area are out of their tents, but whether they are fully awake or not is rather debatable.

"Why the hell are we up this early?" Max complains after letting out a yawn.

"I don't know what's going on." Neil admits flatly, also yawning.

"Say. Where's David?" Ruby asks, looking around for her favorite counselor. Then, from out of the bushes, an arrow strikes the fireplace where the campers ate their s'mores the previous night, setting it alight. Everyone jumps back from the fireplace out of surprise.

"Camp Campbell campers." A familiar voice says, prompting everyone to look at quite a bizarre scene. David is standing proudly in the middle of the path to the counselor's cabin, topless and wearing a strange headpiece covered in feathers and wielding a wooden staff in his other hand. Off in the distance are Gwen and the Quartermaster, both of whom have a headband around their foreheads with a single feather sticking out of the top and the same red stripes on their cheeks that David says. The red-haired counselor raises his right hand and adds, "How."

A moment of silence passes before Max oinches the bridge of his nose tightly. "Why."

"I am sure you must be wondering who we are." David says, grinning widely. No one is wondering that, but Ruby is keeping especially silent in wonder of what he's up to. "But have no fear, I'm…"

"David." Max interrupts, exasperation in his voice. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I am not David!" David replies quickly. "Though if he were here, he would tell you to mind your language." Gwen slaps her forehead in the back. "I am Chief Squatting Bear." Ruby notices Gwen hiding her face in her hands out of embarrassment.

The campers just stare in surprise at the declaration, with Ruby trying to hold back a snicker at how silly the name sounds. Then Space Kid walks forward and places his hands on his helmet. "Oh, that's awesome!" He says with awe in his voice.

Neil just stares at Space Kid before pushing Space Kid into the soft ground, who screams slightly before going down. "Gwen," Nikki asks, "Why is David dressed as a turkey?" Ruby has to fight down an even bigger laugh.

Gwen pulls her face away from her hands to face the campers. "Because he's fucking David, Nikki. You've been here long enough to figure that out."

A panicked David runs towards Gwen and mutters something to her, then adds to Nikki, "And I'm not a turkey. I'm an Indian chief."

"Like Max?" Neil asks, pointing to his best friend.

"What? No!" Davis answers with wide eyes. Ruby tilts her head to the side, wondering why he's so panicky about that. "Like the Cherokees. You know…" David then starts slapping his mouth while whooping.

Max just stares at David with a look at Ruby has only seen once before; pure shock. "Wow, that is racist." He states simply.

"Seriously, are you seriously offended?" Neil asks suspiciously.

"I don't get it. How is it offensive and why is it if someone imitates them?" Ruby asks.

Stunned silence as everyone stares at the young girl. "Damn, you've had a sheltered childhood." Max says flatly.

That makes Ruby frown, slightly from bitterness at being held back from learning everything she has. "Oh, you have no idea."

Their conversation is interrupted when another flaming arrow strikes the ground at their feet, making them jump back in surprise. "Silence!" QM shouts, being the one who shot the arrow. "Do your thing." He says to an equally shocked David.

"Uh… Right. We represent the Order of the Sparrow. A secret society that only gathers only to honor the most worthy of campers."

"So, then what are you doing here?" Nikki asks curiously. Ruby can't help but agree with Nikki's logic.

David groans in frustration. "Come on, guys. The Order's been around since I was a Campbell camper. It's a huge honor, and it's really cool!"

"I'm willing to give it a try." Ruby admits, to which David flashes a smile at her.

"I'll believe that when I see it." Max answers just as snidely as ever.

"Oh. You will, Max." David replies, then stands up, "Because today, you will all be given the chance to prove your worth."

"Do we have to?" Harrison asks groggily, further cementing Ruby's suspicion that things won't go so well.

"No…" David answers thoughtfully, "But…" He then notices the campers heading back towards their tents, aside from Ruby. "Wait! Never mind! It's mandatory!" The campers let out loud groans Ruby smiles at the quick save. "But, those of you who are accepted into the Order will receive the ultimate prize."

That causes everyone's heads to snap up in surprise, even Ruby's. "Huh? There's a prize?" Nikki asks.

"What is it?" Neil adds, starting to sound excited.

"Tell us now, turkey man!" Dolph pipes up, pushing his way through the crowd.

Apparently, even Gwen is surprised by the proclamation. "Wait, what? What prize?"

"All will be revealed at the setting of the sun, sister Gwen." David answers cryptically. "So, shall we begin?" Everyone, especially Ruby, cheers with enthusiasm. Max just stares at David questioningly. "Now, I want each one of you to gather at the Mess Hall, where our esteemed Quartermaster will tell you what you must do. Have fun!" Everyone moves towards the Mess Hall where QM is hammering a wooden sign into the ground. Written on it are three simple rules: Do Good Every Day, Face the World with Kindness, Love Thy Nature.

"That's it?" Ruby asks slightly, honestly surprised the instructions are that simple.

"This is stupid." Max says bluntly once he reads it.

"Seriously. 'Do Good Every Day?' That's just bad grammar." Neil adds.

"I think it's do good, like a superhero." Nikki suggests.

"I could be the hero this camp deserves." Dolph says, rubbing his hands together. Ruby backs away from him, remembering that glint in his eyes all too well; specifically, the day he was made head counselor on the last day it rained.

"I can be nice!" Preston exclaims excitedly. "I'm the nicest!"

"Great." David says, walking over. "Because ya'll have until sunset to convince me."

"David, what did I tell you about trying Southern accents?" Ruby says, crossing her arms over her chest.

Before David can answer, Nikki lunges into the air and grabs David's neckerchief. "David! You know me. You know I love nature. You know if I could, I would have babies with nature. So do I get my prize now?" David just stares at Nikki with wide eyes before answering.

"Calm down, Nikki." Then, from out of the crowd, Nerf barrels through and punches Nikki off.

"Back off. May I help you up, David?" Nerf then asks, holding out his hand. Ruby can't help but laugh at the spectacle, all for a simple prize. Knowing David, it will most likely involve the experience or symbolism.

"Nerf! That was…"

"A very kind gesture. I know. So, can my prize be cigarettes?"

David slowly backs away from Nerf and ends up bumping into Gwen's legs. He looks up to see her frowning face. "David, are you sure this will work?"

"Um, yes?" He answers, now becoming uncertain himself.

Ruby shakes her head at the naivety, certain that things will go wrong fast; and they did. Not even ten minutes later, Ruby witnesses Harrison pushing Nerris into the lake, to which Harrison tries to fake a kind gesture by pulling out a fishing rod to pull her back in, only to get pulled in himself. It took a whole five minutes for David, Gwen, and Ruby to pull them out. At lunch, Ruby is sitting off to the side about to enjoy her lunch of a salad sandwich when she notices Dolph chewing up David's sandwich and spitting it out on his plate.

Like David, Ruby felt bile rise up into her mouth and she ran outside the mess hall to escape the delusional boy. But once they are outside, they notice something truly shocking; the entire camp is now grey and rocky. It turns out Preston, Ered, and Space Kid cleaned the entire camp of dirt for their prizes. As David's getting buried under the dirt, Ruby's just staring at the big truck driven by Space Kid, wondering where in the world they got it.

But none of that tops what Neil tried to do to win this prize; he almost kissed the camp platypus, only for it to bite his mouth. It wasn't until Max called into question what David had to offer that he showed them what the prize is.

"A bonfire!" David exclaims happily, pointing at the teepee shaped bundle of sticks. Aside from a curious Ruby, none of the other campers are happy to learn about this.

"A bonfire?" Neil asks skeptically.

"Yes! It is the highest honor. The fire is lit with a flaming arrow, signifying…"

"Wait." Nikki interrupts. "We don't actually get anything?" Her deadly calm tone makes it clear she's almost at the breaking point.

"I mean." David answers, trying to regain control of the situation, "Of course you do. Everything gets their own sash, like this."

"But it's so ugly!" Preston fires back, mostly out of anger at how the day turned out.

"Well…" David tries to answer, but none comes to mind. It is then that Gwen decides to speak up.

"David. Is this seriously it?"

"Yeah, David?" Max asks, grinning wickedly.

"Okay. You guys just aren't seeing it." David answers, hysteria kicking in. "I'm telling you, this is amazing. The big fire, there's music, a ceremony. Oh! And the passing of the staff!" Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, he pulls out a long wooden staff inscribed with blue tribal markings and a blue jewel in the crest of the bird-shaped top. "The Chief chooses a new member to carry his staff and lead the new generation of sparrows."

"So, one of us gets a stick?" Neil asks bluntly, losing patience by the second.

But it's David who snaps first. "It's an ancient staff!" As he shakes it violently, the top snaps off and hits the ground. He gasps and stares at it, too horrified to say anything.

"Well, this is a train wreck." QM says, walking away.

"No, wait! I'll show you! Let me just get it lit." David answers desperately, pulling out a piece of flint and steel and starts getting to work. During the whole time everyone was at the edge of the lake, storm clouds have started rolling in. But now, thunder crackles in the sky and rain starts pouring down, along with dogs and cats?

"David…" Gwen says. "Let it go."

He looks up at her, and she nearly flinches away at the crazed look in his eyes. "No, no, no. I can still light it! You'll see." He answers, and gets back to scraping away.

Ruby stares at David, feeling something familiar about this situation. But the others, instead of amazed at David's determination, are in disbelief and disgust. "I can't believe I nearly made out with a platypus for this." Neil says, rubbing his face.

Gwen just sighs. "Come on, kids." She then leads the grumbling bunch of campers back to their tents. But Ruby and Max just stand there, watching the whole thing.

"Guys, wait!" David says quickly, looking back. "I've almost got it. I'm sure."

"Well, David. You were right." Max says snidely. "This is amazing!"

"If I could just…. Show you…" David mutters, looking at the bonfire for any way to light.

"David." Max says again. "Do you really think a big campfire and some outdated, honestly kind of racist, tradition is going to make anyone care about anything?" David keeps plugging away at the flint and steel while Ruby's staring at Max's bored face. "No one gives a shit, David! Nobody wants to be here." That causes David to scrape even harder than ever, and is possibly on the verge of tears. "God, it's like you live in this stupid make-believe world where everything's great. The universe doesn't work that way, you idiot. Just look around. It's what I've been trying to show you since day one." David then stops and Ruby could have sworn she heard him sniffle. Max just walks over. "Life sucks. We live in a world where de-sensitized, apathetic assholes! Why don't you just get with the program? Stop giving a shit." It is in that moment that Ruby finally realizes why the situation feels familiar, and she stares at Max with slight horror.

As he's walking away with a smug look, believing he's finally triumphed, David backs his comeback. "You're right." That makes Max stop in place, and his smirk fade into surprise. David then stands up and turns around, a determined look on his face. "Times have changed, whether I like it or not. The campers don't care, Gwen doesn't care. Even the founder of this place has better things to do. That's why I'll never stop trying. Because somebody fucking has to."

Max and David stare each other down, with Max being genuinely stunned by David's point of view. As for Ruby, she stares at David with a respect she's never felt for him before; almost as much as her big sister, mother or even her dad. He then turns around and starts back up at work. Ruby then walks over to David and taps his shoulder. "David?" Max asks, with no sarcasm in his voice, only concerned.

"Go back to your tent, Max." David says, with Max flinching away at the cold tone. "You'll just catch a cold."

Ruby makes her choice and walks over to David's side. "You wouldn't happen to have any spares, would you?"

David looks up in surprise, and Max is possibly more surprised. "You too, Ruby. Go back with your friend."

"Screw him." Ruby says, to which Max flinches even harder. "I've wondered why this feels familiar, but now I realize why. Many times, when things get tough or people start losing, all those who have stuck with them left them out in the cold… in this case, literally. The point is, it takes a real friend to stick together, even when things don't go your way. And right now, I hold more respect for you than I ever have for the campers."

David looks at her in shock before he gives her a small smile and gives her a spare pair of flint and steel. Then, with Max watching with a troubled look, Ruby and David start chipping away at the fire. But within five minutes, they run into issues. As David gives another enormous strike at the flint, the steel piece breaks in two. David then looks at the piece before looking at Ruby scraping away as fast as she possibly can. But within seconds, her own piece breaks. "Well, that's not good." Ruby says in surprise.

David lets out a long growl. "Oh, just get started already!" He shouts before slapping the bonfire. It lets out a loud rumble before toppling in top of David and Ruby, knocking them both out.

Ruby finds herself in the middle of Camp Campbell, staring out at the lake. "Hey, Rubes." She turns around and standing there are her three teammates; Weiss, Blake, and her big sister Yang.

"Hey, guys." Ruby says, confused by how they're here and not de-aged like she is.

Weiss just stares at Ruby in shock. "Ruby, what in the name of Remnant are you wearing?" Confused, Ruby looks down to see that she's now wearing a brown vest with no sleeves. She feels her forehead, and a headband is wrapped around her head with a single feather sticking out the back. Ruby is confused about the situation, but decides to play along.

"Why, it's simple. I am Ruby Rose, and I am a member of the Order of the Sparrow, a secret society who watches over Camp Campbell and upholds it's motto." She then makes the camp's salute. "Campe Diem!"

Yang's on the verge of laughing while the other two are staring in shock. "Well, she's certainly changed." Blake states.

"I know, right?" Yang says before looking at Ruby. "Hey, sis, I heard your pep talk with David just now. This place certainly has changed you; maybe you should stick around for a while, have some fun."

Ruby gives a wide grin. "You know, I think I will. And I will make some crazy things here."

Weiss then looks at Ruby and actually gives a small smile. "Before we go, I just want you to know how proud I am of how much you've changed."

The red-haired girl stares at her partner, tears forming in her eyes. "Thanks, guys. For everything."

Then, as suddenly as they appeared, Weiss and Blake vanish into thin air. Yang sticks up two fingers and gives a wink. "See you on the other side, Rubes." Then, from out of the bushes, a Formula One racing car speeds onto the pathway leading towards the camp grounds. Sitting in the driver's seat is the Quartermaster.

"You ready?" He asks. Ruby asks in confusion until Yang grins widely, winking at Ruby, before getting into the passenger's seat. QM then wraps his non-prosthetic hand around Yang as she snuggles into his side affectionately, and before they drive away, he wiggles his eyebrows up and down five times while giving the first grin she's ever seen.

"What the hell?" Ruby asks, her right eye twitching violently at what the very idea of what's to come. "I guess it's less disturbing than the possibility of sis making out with Blake… Man, they're both weird scenarios." She then shivers violently.

"So, Ruby." Ruby turns around to see David standing at the edge of the beach next to the bonfire, dressed in his usual attire. "You want to have a great time?"

"Absolutely." Ruby answers, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. All the while, a person shrouded in white watches the whole scene before giving a small smile of her own and scattering into white rose petals.

"Well, then you can wake up now."

"Wait, what?" Ruby asks, then everything clicks into place for her. "Okay, then." She then punches herself hard in the cheek. Within seconds, she feels her real eyes flutter open and a sharp spike of pain on her cheek. "Ow." She then mutters, rubbing the bruised spot. She then notices that there's a white bandage wrapped around her head, and it stings upon touching it. She then hears a zing and something sticking into the ground next to her. Ruby looks at it, and when she faintly notices an arrow sticking out of the ground, she lets out a small scream before sitting up.

"Yeah! Wake up, buttercups!" A familiar female voice says.

"Nikki, no more arrows!" Another voice answers. Suddenly, the world turns a lot sharper for Ruby's eyes. It is now night-time; the storms have cleared and a roaring fire is on the shore of the lake. As for the campers, they are dressed in some of the most bizarre and mismatched outfits Ruby has ever seen.

"You can't control me, white devil!" Nikki answers defiantly, throwing down her bow and whooping loudly in the same manner David did at the start of the day while running away.

Ruby then hears a gasp and looks to see David, also with bandages wrapped around his head, staring at the scene with wonder. "You're all dressed up as…"

"Indians." Neil answers proudly. "Like you said."

"I designed the outfits myself." Dolph adds, bouncing up and down.

"Do you love them? I love them!" Preston answers, rubbing his hair dramatically.

David's expression turns to confusion; not that Ruby can blame him. "But… why?"

"Alright, I fixed it!" Max says, walking into the clearing with the staff in hand. "Everybody hurry up and…" He then notices David and Ruby already awake and staring at him. "Aw, shit. They're awake."

"Max?" Ruby and David ask simultaneously. "Did you…"

"Do not look too deeply into this!" Max shouts, pointing the staff at David's face. "You suck. This world sucks. And one day, we're all going to die and none of it will matter. But if we didn't do this, I'm pretty sure you'd kill yourself or something."

Ruby looks at Max, and while she still sees him as jaded, she realizes that he might not be such a bad friend after all. David wipes a tear of happiness away from his eyes. "Oh, Max…" He says, before Max continues.

"Or shoot up the camp. It was a possibility."

Ruby gasps. "Freckles would never do such a thing!"

David leans in, actually proud of Max at this very moment. "Thank you."

Max then looks away from his counselor. "Whatever. Just take your stupid stick." But as he's lifting it towards David, it snaps in half once again. But instead of getting mad, David takes the top half of the staff. He looks back at Ruby, who nods with her own smile. David then pushes the bottom half of the staff towards Max before walking towards the bonfire with Ruby close behind.

"Aw." Space Kid says, "Lucky." Max just frowns and slaps Space Kid across the head with the staff. He lets out a shout before going down.

"You know," starts Neil, "It is kind of nice."

Ruby stands next to Neil and pats him on the shoulder. "Me too."

Just then, they hear a guitar riff and Gwen starts singing the song David sang on the first day of camp softly, to which everyone's eyes light up. Even Max decides to stop standing in the corner and makes his way towards the fire with a kind smirk on his face.

As the song goes on, a powerful stench fills Ruby's nose. She almost gags at it, wondering what's causing it. As David and Max talk in the background, Ruby makes her way closer. Within a few seconds, she realizes what's causing the smell; gasoline. "Fire in the hole!" Ruby shouts, but it's already too late. The gasoline is ignited and a massive explosion goes off.

As Ruby's sitting up, she looks down and realizes she's completely covered in soot and so is everyone else. "Ah! What's this black stuff?" She asks, trying to wipe it off.

Nikki just whoops normally in excitement at being caught in the middle of the explosion. "Do it again! Do it again!" While the campers are getting settled around the fire again, Gwen finishes the short song while the Quartermaster finishes his guitar playing.

At this very moment, Ruby is truly happy with how her first month at Camp Campbell has been; for right now, she is here to stay.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, that's the end of Ruby's adventures in Camp Camp Season 1. And I have quite a bit left to go! And I'm so sorry for not updating sooner, I have been on vacation in the West all week.

Anyway, I will see you all next time with some of my favorite episodes of that season.

See you then!

*In case I need to be specific, the people I am describing (miraculously in order) are Justin Bieber (wound opened for me when he decided to moon in Tulum and got a really nice tour guide I was with banned from the site a few years back), Kim Kardashian (I am a triathlete; she looked like a bitch when she decided to wear triathlon equipment), and OJ Simpson (enough said).


	6. The Cultic Invasion

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

Ruby Rose never thought she would ever beating up an older woman dressed alongside her fellow campers, but that was before she met her first cultist.

It all started a week after the wonderful night she was inducted into the Order of the Sparrow. The sun was shining on Lake Lilac, the camps are gleaming in the sunlight, the platypus chomping a poor rabbit to death, and a dangerous game of baseball with all the campers' participation. "You got this, Nikki!" Neil shouts, getting into a pitching position.

He and many other campers also cheered from the sidelines as Max walks to the center of the field, surrounded by Harrison guarding first base, Space Kid guarding second base, and Nerris guarding third base while looking down at Ruby. She started off with pitching the ball, but her fastball was so elaborate that they had to pull Ruby away from pitching before she could give the opposing team more free runs. Max got into position, then threw the ball as hard as possible.

Nikki, holding a wooden baseball bat Ruby made the previous day in her spare time, took a long and hard swing at a large green ball they found outside the Quartermaster's store. Ruby recognized what it is immediately, but before she can protest, Nikki hit it as hard as she could and it goes sailing through the air. A loud crash could be heard several seconds later, indicating it smashed into the counselor's cabin. "Sorry. Foul-ball!" She shouted to the counselors, trying to dumb down how serious it could have been.

Ruby remembers shaking her head slightly, hands on her hips. "Just be happy that the grenade didn't go off."

"That was a grenade?" Neil shouted in shock. Max and Ruby almost simultaneously slapped their foreheads. Just then, they saw the Quartermaster walking towards them with an annoyed look on his face.

"David wishes to see all of you. In the Mess Hall." He then turned around and started walking away to who-knows-where.

"Well, we're in the shit now!" Max said as the group of campers swarm towards the Mess Hall. They wait inside for several minutes until David walked in with a whole box of grenades in his hands. On the side of the cardboard box bears the black letters 'Cold War Leftovers.'

"Hey, there campers!" David said happily. "Today, I was going to be teaching you all how to make your very own tee pees for when you're stuck in the middle of the woods without shelter, but after your game today, I need to bring it upon myself to give you a quick presentation on balls."

The campers shivered simultaneously, especially Ruby. Without a moment's hesitation, he jumped right into his discussion about the history of baseball and what goes on the outside of the baseball rather than the grenade.

The presentation was obviously haphazard, even by David's standards, but Ruby wasn't focused on it; she is focused on the man standing in the corner of the Mess Hall, staring at them with unblinking eyes. The man could almost pass as David's long-lost brother, except his hair was bleach white, his eyes a startling blue, and his outfit was completely white. He almost reminds Ruby of Weiss, but something was not right about him.

"And that concludes my presentation as to what is, and is not, a baseball." David finishes up, putting another one of the grenades back into the box. Ruby looks back at David with a slightly disturbed look on his face. "So, any questions?" Only Max raised his hand. "Yes, Max?"

"Who the fuck is that?" Max asked, pointing towards the man in the corner at the mysterious man. The others, in confusion, looked in the direction Max is pointing and also notice the white-wearing man.

"Why, what an excellent question! Campbell campers, I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest co-counselor, Daniel."

"Howdy, kiddos." Daniel said, holding a hand up. Aside from Ruby, who was tilting her head to the side in confusion and suspicion, the other campers look disturbed at seeing a man who could be a clone of David.

"Howdy-do, Daniel?" Space Kid asked, saluting the new arrival.

"You've got to be shitting me!" Max answered harshly.

"Whoa-ho! Watch the language there, little fella." Daniel answered in a similar manner David would. Ruby just stares at him in shock and really starting to get suspicious.

"Watch the language indeed. Just because Daniel here is new doesn't mean you should treat him any different than you treat me." David added, standing up for the new co-counselor.

"Got it." Nikki replied, then took out a piece of mud from her red overalls and threw it right onto Daniel's shirt. Ruby snickered slightly at Nikki's actions.

"He **is** you, David. Save for the outfit. Seriously, freak show, what's with the cult leader getup?" Max demanded, pointing his finger at Daniel accusingly.

Daniel just wiped the mud off his clothes and stared down at Max. "You must be Max. I've heard all about you." Daniel answered, giving him a creepy smile and staring at him with unblinking eyes. To make it even worse, he tilts his head to the side while his neck creaks the entire time. Ruby slowly took up a battle stance, her bad feelings about that man deepening.

"Okay?" Max asked, now becoming disturbed himself.

"Daniel, I am so sorry about this terrible behavior." David piped up, glaring at Max slightly.

"Oh, don't you worry, co-counselor. They're just ragging on the new guy. I thought this might happen, so for my first day as a camp counselor, I have prepared several exercises that will help cleanse all of us of our negative emotions."

"Well, that sounds wonderful!" David said enthusiastically. "You kids are definitely in good hands." Ruby just stared at him with disbelief. "I'll go finish up your employment paperwork. In the meantime, try not to have too much fun without me! Just kidding, have all the fun you want." With that, David left the Mess Hall.

"So, children." Daniel asked, bringing everyone's terrified eyes back towards him. "Is there anybody here who has an interest in…space?"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Me!" Space Kid said, bouncing up and down with excitement while the campers look at him in disbelief.

"Oh, really? Well, that's wonderful!" Daniel answered, seemingly happy with the reply.

"Yeah, heh." Space Kid said, "I know all sorts of stuff about space."

"Well, did you know all negative emotions actually come from space?" Daniel asked, pointing above. Ruby then began to feel horror replace courage as she began to realize what game he's playing.

"Oh. Well, uh, no. I didn't." Space Kid admitted, playing into Daniel's hands.

"It's true!" Daniel replied. "Our atmosphere is under constant bombardment from negative emotions tied to dark toxins. These toxins cling to the matter left over from the Big Bang, meaning that even if we are all pure of heart at birth, we're bathing in the negative-rich environment every second."

Ruby just stares at Daniel, mildly impressed he could think of such an explanation in such short time. "Whoa." Space Kid replied, believing every word Daniel said.

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there." Neil spoke up, stepping forward. "Are you suggesting the massive explosion responsible for the creation of the universe is also responsible for some sort of endless, radioactive, evil?" Ruby had heard of the Big Bang on Remnant ever, since many have given up on religion there. But she stayed completely silent.

"Oh, no. Not at all!" Daniel answered. "The Big Bang didn't create the universe. It was just a side-effect of the Millenial Wars started by Zeemoog and the Galactic Confederacy." Ruby stifled a laugh, not believing that part of the explanation at all. Daniel either didn't notice or care about the reaction.

"Right." Neil replied, clearly skeptical.

"You must be Neil." Daniel replied, getting right into Neil's face. "David told me you were quite the…inquisitive little fellow."

Neil got quite uncomfortable from the close proximity of Daniel. "Hey, buddy. Let's try to recognize some personal space here."

"Why do you feel the need to question everything, Neil? What good has it led to?" Daniel asked, his grin turning maniacal and his neck snapping violently after each question.

"Well, for one, I'm not walking around and talking about Zeemoog." Neil answered, waving his hand around.

Daniel then stood up and finally took notice of Ruby. He then walked towards her with the same crazy smile on his face. "And you. I can see that you are always interested in fighting."

Ruby then looked down to where he's looking, and noticed that he's staring at a loaded Freckles which is stuck in her shorts for if she ever needs it. "Heck yeah. I keep Freckles with me at all times."

Daniel paused for a moment, surprised by the answer. "Well, what if I told you that it's people like you who are perpetuating the hate of today? What if the misinformed in our society will take your actions and beliefs as a desire to exert dominance? When it happens, it will then set off a chain reaction that leads to a struggle of beliefs unlike anything we humans have ever seen and those who oppose it will have to go through tall measures to fix the world.*"

Ruby stared at Daniel, a baffled look on her face. "What?" But as Daniel walked away from her, satisfied with his pitch, she shook her head violently to shake off his words.

"But are you happy with your life? Are you at peace? Or do you feel yourself filled with anxiety and doubt? Doesn't the world seem awfully scary?" He asked, placing a hand on Nerf's shoulder.

But Nerf's answer surprised Ruby, Max, Neil, and Nikki. "It does!"

"Well, what if I told you if it didn't have to be?"

"I don't really know what you're selling here, Daniel, but I am buying it!" The quartet stared at him with ever-growing surprise.

"Then help me help you, help others." Daniel said, pointing to Preston.

"Yeah! I'm helping!" Nerf said, happier than Ruby's ever seen the bully.

"Excellent! Now, who else wants to help reach ascension?" Daniel asked, kicking his legs up. Space Kid stepped forward with a raised hand. Preston faints from being held for so long in the happy Nerf's grip while most of the other campers are skeptical.

Max, however, feels true horror settle in, much like the time he witnessed a nude Quartermaster. "Oh, my fuck. He's actually a cultist." He stated, catching his three friends' attentions.

"What do we do?" Nikki asked, also sounding really worried. Ruby was speechless, unsure of what to do. She'd never met a cultist before.

"We get David. We need him to help get this freak out of here." Neil answered.

Ruby then looks around, a crazy idea forming in her mind. "Guys, you go get David. I'll distract Daniel."

Max looks at her, and for a moment, he actually looks concerned. But Ruby steps forward towards Daniel. "Hey, Daniel."

"Yes, my young camper?"

"I'd like to join you. Can you come with me; I'll show you a weapon to help us…reach ascension, you said?" Ruby said, hoping he'd take the bait.

"Why, sure. Lead the way, young lady." Ruby briefly notices her three camper friends run out the front door while the huntress-in-training leads Daniel out a side door. They walk through a path deep in the forest until they are out of sight from everybody. "So, where's your weapon?" Daniel asked, looking around excitedly.

"Right here." Ruby answered and charged at Daniel. With all the strength she can muster, she kicked him right between the legs. But Daniel grabbed her leg and threw her onto the ground. Ruby then pushes herself back up and fires Freckles at the cultist. To her absolute shock, he grabs the bullet out of thin air, then flicks it. The bullet collides with Freckles and the pistol goes flying. Before Ruby can do anything else, he grabs her hair and holds her in place as he pulls out a spray bottle.

"Why do you insist on fighting? It will only cause more pain and suffering." He then holds the bottle to her face and sprays the white smoke comes out. Ruby tries to keep it out of her systems, but to no avail. Slowly, she stops struggling and becomes still, her clothes turning an unnatural white. "Now, do you have anything that can help my ascension?" He asks kindly.

"Yes, I do." Ruby answers in a flat tone. She then leads Daniel towards a nearby clearing where a grey building is, with a huge circular hole in the roof and a thick metal door protecting the inside.

"What is this place?" Daniel asked, very curious.

"I've been rebuilding this sauna for days as a way for campers to cleanse themselves after their daily activities. The door was taken from the USS Indianapolis." Ruby said in an emotionless tone.

Daniel grinned manically again. "Well, that's wonderful." He makes his way towards the shower before taking a bottle of the smoke and slipping it into the nearby, beaten-up propane tank. The duo then turned around and notice that all of the other campers, excluding Max, Neil and Nikki, who have followed them.

"Campers, I offer you the first step to ascension." Daniel said, holding his hands out proudly. The campers stare at the shower building with the most amazed eyes.

"So, if we join your band, we get to clean up after a long day?" Ered asked. "That's so cool!"

The campers then ran towards the door, pulling it open desperately, eager to get cleaned up. All except for Preston, who had to wait outside for his turn. But as the campers emerged fully-dressed, their clothes were bleached as white as their hair, and their pupils are larger than they should normally get. "We love you, Daniel." They said simultaneously.

"All right, my dear campers, prepare the grounds for what's to come. And don't forget the Kool-Aid!" Daniel said as the campers as they go about the orders Daniel gave them and are imprinted in their minds.

Ruby used a nearby plank of wood to officially name the building she fixed up for weeks the 'Purification Sauna' before joining her fellow hypnotized campers in making the Kool-Aid. For five minutes of pure bliss, Ruby stirred the Kool-Aid bowls as prepared by Space Kid, Harrison, and Nerris. She never noticed all her friends return to the camp to see the things Daniel's doing. But she looked up from her work to see Daniel holding Neil and Nikki up by their necks. He then threw them into the purification sauna that Preston just emerged from, the door shutting behind them.

"Now, don't you want to feel safe, too?" She can hear Daniel say as the words get clearer and clearer to her. She blinks twice and the world seemingly returned to normal. She looked around, shocked to see the campers the way they are, and even poisoning the drink they are making. Just what is going on?

"There you are!" David said, walking into the clearing. "I was wondering where everyone had run off to." He added.

Ruby continued stirring and pretending she was still under the spell, praying for David to run while he could.

"David! Oh, thank God! You have to stop him. He's insane!" Max said, his eyes still narrow with horror as to Daniel's actions.

"Max, I have had it up to here with your bad behavior today." David answered. Ruby honestly couldn't believe how David couldn't see what's happening in front of him.

"But it's all right here! Right in front of you. Proof that Daniel's actually a religious cult leader that's good at brainwashing every last one of us." Max shouted, pointing at Daniel and agreeing with Ruby. A second later, Neil and Nikki walk out of the sauna as well, with bleached clothes and wide pupils.

"We love you, Daniel." They said simultaneously.

"Well, all I see are happy faces." David said. "Great work, Daniel!"

"Aw, shucks. Thanks, David. All right, kids. Let's start pouring that punch and preparing for ascension!" Daniel said, walking towards the table Ruby's working at.

"Yay!" shouted the campers as they follow close behind.

Ruby looked down and realized that two more bowls of punch are next to the one she's been stirring, completely neglected. Hastily, she stirs the others and hoping that her mistake wasn't noticed.

As she's finishing the stirring, she grabbed the same red cup as the others. "We love you, Daniel!" Everyone chanted with Ruby doing her best to fake an emotionless tone, trying to stop the cup she was holding up from shaking out of fear. Daniel smiled in triumph, and started pouring the purple liquid into everyone's cups, starting with Neil. Once Ruby's glass was filled, she looked up and noticed that Max had vanished from a terrified David's side.

A loud hiss of steam made Ruby's blood run cold and looked up to see if she was right. Sure enough, the thick door used on an old battleship she salvaged for the sauna slammed open once more, and a wide-pupiled, bleach-clothed, Max walked out. "I love you, Daniel!" He said monotonously. The sweat broke out across Ruby's forehead as she watched her closest friend of the trio grabbing a cup of Kool-Aid from Daniel.

Then, a moment later, everyone lifted the glasses up to consume the beverage whole. Ruby stared into the deep purple beverage, sloshing innocently in her cup, more horrified than even the time she saw the Quartermaster naked on Spooky Island.

"So, David!" She heard Daniel say, distracting her from the kiss of death. "Would you care to join us for a drink?" Everyone turned their grinning faces to David as he stomped towards them, a determined look on his face.

"Daniel, I'm actually afraid that we need to let you go. I just don't think you're good for Camp Campbell." He said, losing some confidence within seconds.

The grin widens to maniacal levels on Daniel's face. "Oh, I see." He replied, rubbing his chin. "Well, it is…unfortunate you feel that way, David."

"Yeah." David said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm afraid it's just not…"

"However." Daniel interrupted, making Ruby jump slightly. "As far as I'm aware, I've successfully met every requirement listed in my job description. So you don't have the legal right to terminate my employment." Ruby blanched, realizing that Daniel could have been right. "Unless you think there's an aspect of this job I've yet to uphold."

David looked terrified for a moment before his eyebrows lower and became determined once again. "As a matter of fact, there is. You may be a good camp counselor, **Daniel**. But what good is a camp counselor without…camp songs?" He asked, pulling his guitar seemingly out of nowhere.

Daniel gasped, and for a moment, Ruby wondered if David actually one-upped the cultist. "Why, David. I thought you'd never ask."

David gasped in response, but regained his spine. He pulled the strings on his guitar tightly, creating a pleasant sound, and the music showdown began.**

It was one of the best contests Ruby had ever heard, with David's song about impoliteness and saying he's better than his opponent competing with Daniel's song about how he's better than David. To Ruby, that's another thing which is similar to Jaune Arc and something she regrets not recording. All the while, the campers sang and jammed with Daniel. As Ruby decided to let loose a little bit and sang with Daniel, she noticed Max about to drink the punch! Thinking fast, Ruby lunged at Max and knocked him down, both their punches spilling onto the ground. She looked down at her arms and noticed that they started glowing a bright red before it disappeared. Ruby was so stunned at how close she came to recovering her aura that she missed most of the song.

She was returned to what was happening around her when Daniel bumped into her side as he ran towards the table and grabbed a cup of Kool-Aid. He downed it without a second thought before pulling out a curved dagger, ready to cut open Dolph.

But as Ruby's about to save his life, Daniel realized his mistake, blinked once before falling face-first onto the ground.

"Oh my God! I'm on it!" David said, dropping his guitar and picking up his phone, quickly dialing 911.

Within half an hour, the Sleepy Peak Ambulance was driving away from Camp Campbell with a half-dead Daniel inside while the campers, all of whom have returned completely to normal. Even Ruby managed to recover Freckles and the ceremonial dagger Daniel had on him, which she planned on adding to her collection in the trunk. David sighed in relief as the ambulance was driving away. "Poor guy. Must have been some bad fruit punch."

Ruby started laughing out-loud when she hears that, being reminded of her elder step-sister. "You moron." Max answered, pinching his nose.

"Well, kids." Daniel said, turning around to face everyone. "I guess that's the last we'll see of Daniel. From now on, it's just me, you…" Within that moment, the car drives up to the Mess Hall with a certain female counselor behind the wheel. "Gwen?"

"David, fire that fucking weirdo!" Gwen shouted, getting out of the car. "Because I've found us our newest camp counselor. Gen!" She then pointed to the other woman who got out of the car. She looked almost exactly like Gwen, except she's wearing an old-fashioned dress that is completely pink. Her hair was a cream color, she had bright green eyes and her smile looks remarkably similar to Daniel's.

"I'm really into fashion and trashy magazines." Gen said as she held up a magazine titled 'Playboy.' She accidentally let go of the page and it opened right to the centerfold, revealing a man and woman with dark skin with empty black eyes circled with red, a pendulum scrawled in red on the center, and written all over the page are written the words 'Kill' with 'Make Them Pretty!' at the bottom.

A long moment of silent terror passes as everyone realizes that another cultist has come to Camp Campbell. Even David's eyes are narrow as he stares at the page, wondering what state of mind Gwen is in. "Howdy, Gen!" Space Kid said, happily.

Ruby, however, wasn't in a greeting mood after the day she had. "This is our camp, damned demoness! Justice will be swift and painful! Charge!"

* * *

 _AN:_ So, that's the end of my start to the Season 2 arc.

Unfortunately, I regret to say that as school's starting soon for me, my update sessions will start getting more erratic. Just thought I ought to give you all that warning, but that won't mean I'll try and get some work done. And the Halloween Special, well, if things go well, I may continue it.

Anyway, see you all next time with the next part of Camp Camp Season 2 arc.

*Who else is excited to see this new show? Personally, I'm excited Boomstick of Death Battle (aka Chad James) is confirmed to be on here (as well as some others.)

**Unfortunately, as I am eager to get to some other parts of the story and other stories I have in mind, I had to cut this part out. Don't get me wrong, I loved this part.


	7. Camp Campbell Gets an Anal Probe

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

Ruby Rose stands at attention, a wide grin on her face and ready to do what she's wanted to do for weeks.

"Now's our chance, Neil! Go long!" Nikki shouts as she throws the Frisbee in her hands high into the air. Not even a moment later, Snake tackles Nikki to the ground. The Frisbee goes flying high into the air, with David, who is wearing a Coach hat, and Gwen watching with scared eyes. As Neil is being relentlessly chased by a fully healed Petrol, he reaches up to catch. But Nikki's aim is slightly off and ends up smacking into Neil's cheek before he face-plants. As a result, the Frisbee soars high once more before landing right in the hands of a bored Max.

Ruby laughs happily before using the air horn she took out of her collection. "Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and Max."

"Damn you!" Max interrupts before Ruby continues.

"Camp Campbell wins!" The result causes everyone who is attending Camp Campbell to cheer loudly in equal happiness.

"Curses! Foiled again!" Edward Pikeman, senior patrol leader of the Wood Scouts, shouts as he slams his fist into the ground. "Our plan to use Africanized honey bees was supposed to be foolproof!"

Meanwhile, Ruby couldn't help but notice Space Kid walking in the forest, a honey comb stuck over his head and saying something about his suit tickling. "Hang on. I got this." Ruby said to David as she dashes off into the woods to help save her friend from the honey bees.

"In your zit-covered face, Pikeman!" Max says triumphantly as he struts over.

"You incredulous pest!" Pikeman shoots back. "I will not rest until you all answer to the Wood Scouts!"

"Not going to happen, losers!" Nikki challenges as Neil and Ruby also walk over, the bee epidemic solved.

"Guys, guys." David says, walking over as well. "Can't we all just be nice to one other?"

"Uh, have you met these guys?" Ruby asks, a little baffled that he is even trying to be nice to a delusional drill sergeant of the worst sort. In Ruby's opinion.

"Campbell campers being nice? Impossible." Pikeman shoots back. "The only thing you classless simpletons understand are mean comments and snide remarks."

"I'll give you a snide remark…" Max says, holding up a clenched fist.

"He's not wrong." Ruby adds as she stares at Max.

"Now, hold on just a minute. We can be nice."

"Please." Pikeman replies. "Your lot couldn't be nice even if you tried."

"Oh, really? Wanna bet?"

That caught Pikeman's attention, and a small smirk forms on his crater-filled face. "As a matter of fact, I do."

Gwen, sensing the danger of what's about to come, tries to step in. "David, don't."

"I'll but you that Camp Campbell can't go 24 hours without being mean. If you lose, then you'll surrender your camp, and campers, to the Wood Scouts."

"Are you serious right now?" Ruby asks incredulously, realizing how much of a sore loser he really is.

"Goddamn! Why is everything for the fate of the camp? We just played **Frisbee** for the fate of the camp!" Max asks angrily, pulling on his hair slightly.

"Fine, fine. If you lose, we'll simply take your **best** camper." Pikeman amends, which isn't much better in Ruby's opinion.

"And if we win?" David asks, actually buying this. Ruby pulls out a new camera that David gave her and starts turning it on. She has no doubt that this will be an entertaining day, one she wants to remember.

"We won't take your best camper." Pikeman replies.

"Deal." David then shakes Pikeman's hand. As they are shaking hands, Ruby starts the recording and clips it onto her belt. Everyone groans loudly at the response.

"David, you idi…" Max starts, but Pikeman tuts loudly.

"Play nice, remember?" That statement shuts Max up, but he still glowers up at David.

"Petrol!" Pikeman says, causing the tall scout to stand at attention. "We're falling back to base. Remain here to observe the campers and blow this whistle if you witness any…poor behavior." He grabs the whistle and stiffly salutes his superior. Ruby wonders how that Atlesian general Ironwood would interact with Pikeman… she then shuts down the idea as she imagines them destroying entire fortresses while laughing happily. "Come, Snake! We've got an extra bunk to prepare for our new recruit." He then starts cackling with Snake grinning in response.

"Uh, Mr. Pikeman? Excuse me for questioning your technique. How exactly do you expect to hear the whistle when you're on the other side of the lake? Or how you know it will be Petrol? What if it was the Flower Scouts or those other kids around there?" Ruby asks. That shuts up Pikeman and he starts stomping away, muttering about not listening to crazy girls, with Snake following close behind.

"Well, great, David! Thanks to your stup…" She then notices Petrol leaning in closely, whistle in his hands. "Stupendous wager! We definitely won't look like idiots when we don't fuck this whole thing up." Ruby grins slightly as she focuses her camera on Gwen's forced expression.

"Aw, come on, gang." David says, bringing all attention back to him. "We just have to be nice to everyone for one day." The glares Max, Neil, and Nikki gave David didn't encourage the counselor.

Just then, they hear the Camp Campbell bus drive right into the clearing, knocking David down. He screams briefly and his coach hat falls right into Petrol's head. The doors slide open, revealing the Quartermaster who is dressed in a black-and-white-striped jersey over his usual clothes. He was going to referee the frisbee match until something prompted him to go into town. "New kid's here." He says as Ruby glowers at the older man; she will not forgive him for the nightmares.

"New…kid?" David asks wearily. Just then, they feel the ground shaking beneath their feet. Everyone looks around, thinking it's a minor earthquake. And Ruby will never be sure of this, even years later, but she could have sworn she heard trumpets being playing in the background. She then turns around and stares in horror as a huge boy steps out of the bus, with pale skin to almost match Ruby's, a huge nose, huge front teeth, greasy black hair, and dark eyes hidden behind square-shaped glasses. The fat boy is wearing a blue vest over a yellow sweater with grey pants and regular tennis shoes.

"Hey, everybody." The boy says in an unusually nasally voice, holding his arms out, "My name is Jermy Fartz."

A long moment of silence passes as everyone, wide-eyed with horror except David, quickly realizes that this day just got a lot harder. "Wait, what?" Ruby asks, hoping she heard the name wrong.

"Oh." Max says, stunned.

Before anyone can ask what to do now, David steps forward. "Well, young man. Welcome to Camp Campbell!" He then pulls out the red 'First Day Camper' button and sticks it onto Jermy's sweater, only to hear a silent squelching. "Now, why don't you follow us into the Mess Hall? Then I can get you oriented with your fellow campers." The counselors then walk towards the Mess Hall, with the campers deciding to follow close behind.

Once inside, everyone goes about their usual activities, with Nerris attempting to make clay sculptures of fantasy characters instead of playing Dungeons and Dragons by herself like she normally does. But after Harrison and Nerris got into a fantasy battle, Ruby decided never to piss off Nerris; getting knocked in the head with a 20-sided die is more painful than she once thought.

"So, let me get this straight." Max says incredulously. "Your name is Jeremy Fartz?"

"I wish. It's actually Jermy Fartz. It's a family name."

"You have got a… unique family." Ruby says, knowing that not even her family is this weird. And she changed at the last minute when she saw Petrol hanging upside down from the roof, whistle in hand.

"But both of my friends call me Big Nips." Jermy continues, not hearing what Ruby said.

"Why do they call you Big Nips?" Neil asks curiously. Ruby shakes her head violently, not wanting to know.

"Oh. Well, you see…" Jermy then lifts up his vest and sweater, revealing flabby and wrinkled flesh covered in red spots.

While Nikki is curious about a suspicious brown spot under his belly button with black hairs growing out, Max and Neil are screaming in shock. Ruby, once more, is so traumatized by what she saw that she just stands and stares in horror.

"Yeah. Apparently, it's a rare condition, and the ointment I use to stave off the chafing smells like old beef jerky on a hot day, but I don't know…"

As he continues talking, the four friends get into a small huddle. "Okay, seriously. What is this kid's deal? He has to be a plant, right? There's no way we can do this! Ga, I don't want to be taken by the Wood Scouts!"

His three friends stare at each other in disbelief. "You? Why would they take you? If anything, you're the most liable to ruin this whole thing for everyone. I'm obviously the best camper here!"

Ruby stares at Neil in disbelief, before Nikki adds to the conversation. "Come on, Neil. I'm the most rambunctious and loveable. I'm the best!" She then starts dancing while scatting.

"I object!" Ruby says, stepping between them and holding her arms out in protest. "I say… you know what, I'm putting my foot down now. I'm the best, because I'm…me! Ruby Rose, the best gunslinger this side of Lilac. I could take on that bloodthirsty, green goblin-like monster who kills people in that old manor on Spooky Island for a living QM keeps telling the campers."

As Max is about to call Ruby out, Space Kid walks up to them. "Now, hold on, guys. I think we all know who the best camper here is." He says while pointing towards himself. The four friends glower at the astronaut boy. "Heh. Yeah, fair enough." He then walks away.

"Now, kids. Let's not spend time arguing about who is the best camper. You're all the best!" David says enthusiastically, holding his hands out.

"Literally impossible." Neil responds flatly.

"Now, why don't we all put this silly bet aside and focus on welcoming Jermy to…"

"Fartz!" Jermy adds, to which Ruby barely holds down a snicker.

"Jermy… Fartz… to Camp… Campbell." David says, trying to swallow how ridiculous the newcomer's name is. "Who's up for a nature hike?" He then looks down to notice that Jermy was giving David a pink slip. "Uh, what's this?"

"I hate to be a Deborah downer, but this letter from my mom, Mrs. Fartz, says I can't go on hikes due to my…IBS." He says, then lets out a loud fart.

"Jesus Christ." Max says as he rubs his face violently while Nikki and Ruby try to stifle fits of laughter at his misfortune.

"Okay, guys." Neil says, catching his friends' attention. "I'm drawing a line here. Back where I'm from, I used to be the loser kid everyone laughed at. And you know what? It sucked; I say we give this guy another shot." He then walks towards the new camper as he's picking his nose. "So, Jermy." He says, placing a hand on his shoulder, only to frown once he feels how sticky Jermy is. He pulls his hand away, and notices that green goo that smells like a full garbage truck. "What kind of stuff do you get up to back home?"

"Well, on the weekends, I would practice kissing with my dog, Chuckles." Jermy responds, to which Neil blinks in horror. Ruby stops chuckling and only stares in shock at how much of a mess he is. Even the other campers start putting down what they're doing to make sure they heard right; even Ered takes off her earmuffs. "Yeah, it's harder than you'd think. He never seems super into me, so I have to slather peanut butter all over my gums."

As the campers stare in shock and fight with everything they have to not insult him, Neil starts walking away while holding the hand out that touched Jermy. "I'm…going to wash his hand now." He says.

"It was chunky, by the way. The peanut butter." Jermy adds. Ruby actually feels herself vomit in her mouth a little.

"Emergency huddle!" Gwen shouts, to which David, Max, Ruby, and Nikki comply. "I am extremely disappointed with you kids."

"What did we do?" Nikki asks innocently. Ruby places her hands on her hips and stares at Nikki accusingly. "What?" Nikki asks again.

"Guys, Jermy is clearly a young boy with… special needs." Gwen then does air quotes. "I just don't think he's all there. Now, making fun of each other is all well and good, but this? This is just not cool."

Before Ruby can make a witty remark, Jermy jumps into the huddle. "Actually." He says, jumping into the huddle. Everyone jumps back in surprise. "I get this a lot. My numerous doctors have assured me that I am completely on track developmentally. I am just another one of the guys, so let me have it."

A fuming Gwen grabs Jermy by his vest and hoists him off the ground. "Kid, I am trying, but you've got to work with me here." She says angrily.

"Sorry." Jermy replies, genuinely apologetic. Just as Ruby seems like he's actually going to be better for the rest of the day, he lets out a loud and juicy fart.

Gwen drops Jermy, disgusted with him, while Ruby and Nikki stare in shock. Max clenches his fist violently while looking disturbed himself. "Christ, what is wrong with this fu…"

"Max!" Nikki says, interrupting him before he can finish. "The walls have ears." The three campers look outside and notice Petrol, having crawled off the roof, and glaring at them through the window.

The counselors and Jermy look out, and also notice Petrol. "Let's go outside." A shaky Gwen says, herding them out of the Mess Hall. David and Gwen get into a quick huddle of their own. Then, upon prompting from Gwen, the other campers decide to follow once more, not having much better to do. Once everyone is outside and spread out in two straight rows, the counselors discuss the next activity of the day. "Alright, kids. Since today is going to be a bit…" She then looks at Jermy as he's breathing heavily, causing everyone to look at him with concern. "Stressful. I have decided to make our morning activity will consist of yoga exercise and deep meditation."

The campers look at each other, interested in the idea. Within minutes, a smiling David is handing out different colored yoga mats to each of the campers. "Yeah, but I know the ins and outs of this place. That's what makes me the best." Max says, continuing their conversation from earlier.

"Why don't we ask someone else?" Neil suggests, causing Ruby to nod. Honestly, she doesn't consider herself the best camper, but really has no clue as to who it is. The four lay out their matts then walk to the back row where Nerris is unrolling her green mat.

"Nerris, if you had to pick, who would you say is the best camper?" Nikki asks once they arrive, causing Nerris to look up.

"Blunt much?" Ruby asks with a smile on her face.

"You mean, like, out of you four, or overall? 'Cause it's definitely not any of you four." Nerris responds; they blink.

"What? Come on!" Neil says indignantly.

"It's painfully obvious. I don't remember if you guys ever found a gold dragon's stone-feld gizzard to add to a mixture of Terris blood and a 12-headed hydra ballsack necessary to cast Karsis's avatar. Because I did." Ruby just blinked, not having followed a single word of what she heard. Is this what Weiss hears whenever Ruby gets excited and talking about weapons?

"Sorry, Nerris, I don't speak the language of dwe…" Max starts saying, only for one of the long matts to completely unroll and Petrol somehow being inside, whistle in hand. The young boy gulps before he puts on a bored face. "I mean, while I do not agree with your assessment, I recognize your right to have an opinion." He adds, in a hilariously robotic tone.

"Now, the best part about these activities is that they require no talking. Whatsoever. At all. So, without further…" Gwen starts saying, only for Jermy to raise his hand.

"Ms. Gwen?" He asks, already breaking the rule.

Gwen lets out a long groan to show her annoyance. "Yes, Jermy?"

"I'm going to need a new pair of yogurt pants." He says, his movements implying he's embarrassed about asking.

"Don't you mean, yoga pants?" Gwen asks, hoping he misspoke.

He then lets out a loud fart, one even juicier than before. "Ugh, not anymore." He replies, with Nikki and Preston staring at him with disbelief.

Preston makes the huge mistake of sniffing the air, and promptly faints. Nikki turns around and starts laughing hysterically.

"Come on, kid! Are you…" He then stops talking once again when he sees Petrol literally hanging over Max, whistle in hand. Ruby's starting to agree with Neil on his assessment of Max when she notices Nikki shutting up quickly. "I mean, are you okay?" He asks in a much politer tone. "Need any help with those?"

"No, no. I got this." Jermy answers politely, turning around. He forgot that he was still standing on the yoga mat and ends up slipping onto his butt. "Oh, no. Not again." He says as he flails around helplessly. Nikki resumes laughing at his bad luck, while Max turns to face Neil.

"Okay. He got here at nine. What time is it now?" Max asks desperately.

Neil looks down at the watch on his wrist. "9:12."

Ruby shivers with dread while Max pulling violently on his hair while groaning. "It's going to be a long day."

For the next hour, everyone tries to keep their cool by going about their traditional activities. Ruby's back at Engineering Camp, assembling her newest attempt at a collection robot. Max, Neil, and Nikki walk over. "Hey there!" Nikki says giddily.

Ruby looks up from her new project with a small smile on her face. "Hey, guys. What's Jermy up to now?"

"He's at Magic Camp. Ended up stuffing some birds into a shirt Harrison gave him, and now they're getting their revenge." Neil replies bitterly, the memories of his attempt at recreating Harrison's magic clear in his mind.

"So, what new geekfest are you up to?" Max asks. Their eyes then fall upon the small metal box that goes up to Ruby's height, a pair of binoculars with tinted lenses standing on two metal rods held up so it can move its head up and down, metal crowbars with one end sawed off and three pieces of the end used to form simple hands, and two semi-old rubber tires, stretched tightly over four thick gears run in a straight line. The entire machine is painted white with blue stripes running along the side and grey lining around the front part of the binocular head.

"What the fuck is that exactly?" Neil asks, almost as horrified as the time he learned he made an AI out of a chat bot.

"This is my first attempt at building a robot. I named it BOBA, which stands for Builder of Badass Arsenals. It's a helper robot, built with the brain of your modified graphing calculators." Ruby replies, to which Neil gulps.

"How the hell did you do that? And what are you using to power it?" Max asks, genuinely curious.

"I've built lots of stuff, Max. And besides, I can't reveal all my tricks, now should I?" Ruby says, patting the binocular head with happiness. And as embarrassed as Ruby is about it, she decided to use the purple Dust crystal she still has to power the new creation. But as she patted the head, it suddenly fell downward. "Oh, dear!" She says, straightening the head. "Well, BOBA is now complete! Let's give it a test run!" Ruby then grabs a pair of spark plugs and promptly snaps them onto the scrap piece's neck. Large sparks suddenly fly out of its neck and spray all over the ground. The four friends shield their eyes from the bright light before looking back.

A long moment passes with nothing happening. Then, BOBA lifts its head up. It looks all around at its hands and the campers, who are too awestruck to say anything. Then it lifts up its arms, almost in a screaming manner, before driving away. "Stop it!" Nikki shouts as they chase BOBA. They follow it into the clearing where Jermy is brushing the bird feces off his original clothes.

He then looks up and notices the small robot charging towards him. "Oh, no!" Jermy exclaims as he falls onto his ass, before BOBA stops and looks down at the ground intently. He also looks down and notices the ground between his legs starting to get rather wet. "Oh, no. My urinary incontinence is acting up again." He adds before BOBA starts scooting back. It then skirts around him and heads towards the forest.

"…Man." Ruby says once she sees BOBA go further into the woods and out of sight.

"Think it will come back?" Neil asks.

"Well, I'll make it come back." Ruby says, then charges at top speed into the woods so she can get her robot back. Jermy then gets up, brushing himself off, and heads off to the Mess Hall where the campers started making rather creative sculptures out of clay. Max, Neil, and Nikki tried joining in, but were too distracted by Jermy getting drenched in clay.

It wasn't until two hours later that Ruby rejoined the pack, defeated by the fact she failed to find her creation. But she didn't worry too much, knowing it would turn up one way or the other, knowing her luck. The four get on unique helmets, with Ruby wearing a helmet worn in this world's second world war. Max throws his helmet down while Nikki tries not to laugh when they see the pigeons get one last bombardment onto Jermy, causing him to smash a large hole right in the middle of the half-pipe. What stops them from saying anything insulting is Petrol, who swings upward and feet in the air, holding the whistle in hand.

Lunch is a rather quiet affair, but a rather tense one when they found out the hard way Jermy can't keep his mouth shut while eating. Thus, everyone sits on the wooden tables as far away from the boy as possible; even Nerf.

As everyone's going about their separate ways, Neil asks Max and Nikki to help him brew up a custom compound so he can keep his station cleaner for longer periods of time. Ruby, having no experience with chemistry, decided to walk around and see what else is lying around camp she can add to her collection.

She then notices a small box tucked away behind Harrison's stage, which is labelled as 'Comedy Camp Property. For Silly People Only.' "I'm silly." Ruby mutters, walking towards the box and pulling out a paddle ball. She starts bouncing it farther and farther away from her while Ruby laughs at how surprisingly fun it is. That is, until she bounces the ball further away than ever and miscalculates where to hit it. The ball collides with her jaw and sends her falling back. "Okay. That's it; you're no fun." She then throws it aside and looks back in the box. She notices a pair of chattering teeth with a rooster right next to it, glass eyeballs, golf balls with various features like disappearing or filled with sandbags, a plastic box stylized like a briefcase colored in green and labelled Hardcore Monopoly Pieces*, which contains six hard silver pieces. It includes a motorcycle bearing the name 'Jack,' a majestic sword pointing downward and the name 'Michael' engraved on the blade, a monster truck with 'Jeremy' engraved on the truck's hood, a crown with a peculiar crack in it with the name 'Ryan' engraved at the base of the crown on the same side as the crack, a moustache with 'Matt' engraved right in the middle, and a nose of all things for someone named 'Alfredo.' But that's not all; also, in the box is…

"A road cone?" Ruby asks incredulously, pulling the orange cone the size of her out of the box. She then walks out of the clearing, looking at the cone intently. She then feels a small tremor in the ground and she looks up to see Jermy having dropped a pink-frosted cupcake on the ground. He bends over to pick it up, not realizing his butt is next to an active burner, which is right near her three friends. "Guys, get out of the way!" She shouts, only for them to ignore her. She then decides to do perhaps the stupidest thing she has ever done. Ever. Of all times. "Protect me, cone!" Ruby says, getting behind the cone as Jermy lets out a huge fart, spraying flames in all directions. The huntress-in-training hides behind the cone for several seconds before she lowers it, the danger having passed. She then hugs the cone tightly, briefly noticing a burnt Space Kid walking by and an equally burnt Petrol who looms over Max, Neil, and Nikki who aren't spared either, on the verge of explosion.

Despite everything that has happened, they make it through the rest of the day. As the sun starts setting, everyone gathers to the Theater Camp stage for the day's final activity. "I can't do this. I can't fucking do this!" Max says, pulling on his hair violently.

"Hang in there, Max. The day's almost over." Neil says, placing a gentle hand on Max's shoulder as they grab a seat.

"He roasted Space Kid with his farts. Did you not see that?" Max asks angrily.

"Yes. But a cone managed to save me." Ruby adds, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ahem!" Preston coughs, catching everyone's attention. "The time has come for the final activity of the day. A stunning performance piece, slash improvisational fusion. Now, I'll need a suggestion from the audience. Quick! Someone shout out a theme!"

David, sitting next to QM and Gwen respectively, raises his hand. "Ooh! Ooh! The forest!"

Preston's usual demeanor slips a little and a disapproving frown is on his face. "Ooh, boy, that is…" He is then interrupted by Petrol falling onto the stage from a sandbag hanging from above. Ruby can't help but laugh at how Petrol really sucks at his job of keeping quiet. "Acceptable! Under these conditions. So, I will work with it. Everyone search inward for the part of the forest that calls to you. Once you've found your muse, you will design a costume and give a brief performance on its behalf. Now get to it! Please." He adds before walking off the stage.

Ruby gulps, having no idea what part of the forest calls to her. The trees? The birds singing? She liked the latter, but how could she replicate it? As Max is shaking in anger, his eye twitching violently, Nikki jumps right into a patch of mud. "Done." She says triumphantly.

Max, Neil, and Ruby then notice Jermy wobbling towards the forest, looking for something. "I hope my nervous vomiting doesn't kick in." He says along the way.

"He can't be real." Max says, falling to his knees. "God, I'm going to crack and live the rest of my life as a Wood Scout."

"Actually." They look up and see the trio of Nerf, Ered, and Harrison. "We've been talking about this. Because yeah, we exist. And we decided that I am the best camper." Nerf finishes, to which Ered blinks in shock.

"Hold up." She says in an annoyed manner. "I thought we agreed I was the best camper. I'm the coolest."

"But I'm the most magical." Harrison points out, flexing his fingers.

"No, I'm the most magical." Nerris replies, pointing to herself. "You're the biggest dweeb."

"Yet, I am zhe most adorable." Dolph adds, bouncing up and down.

Preston overhears the conversation, and to say he's not happy would be an understatement. "And I'm the only one who seems taking this theater performance seriously!"

"Hey, guys!" Jermy says, causing everyone to look up to the stage, only for their eyes to widen in horror. "I finished my costume. Guess what I am."

Ruby tilts her head to the side and rubs her chin in thought, having no clue. "Uh, a bundle of sticks?" Space Kid asks, just as confused as Ruby is.

Right at that moment, Max snaps with his head literally snapping loudly to the side. He then looks up to the stage, his face turning red with rage and pointing a finger at Jermy. "FAAA-"

"He's going to blow!" Neil shouts in alarm, causing Nerf, Dolph, Nerris, and Space Kid to jump on top of Max, burying him in the massive pile of bodies.

"Okay!" David shouts enthusiastically. "Who's our first performer?"

"Guess it's my time to shine." Jermy says triumphantly, only for one of the sticks held in place by a thick string to snap in half and fall to the ground. "Oh, beans." He adds as he bends over to pick the pieces up, only for his pants to split in half.

Ruby just stares in horror at the fiasco before focusing on Max as he tries to worm his way out of the pile. "Oh, God, Nerf, your pits st-" He is unable to say anything else as Nerf pushes him back under the pile to which many of the other campers in the clearing join in. All the while, Petrol is getting dangerously close to blowing his whistle.

"Ladies and gentlemen." Jermy says happily, not worrying about the sticks anymore. "For my performance piece, I chose to represent the sticks of the pine tree." As he's about to go on, David starts cracking up.

"Pine?" David asks between laughs. "That's clearly birch. Birch, you big dummy!" He continues laughing for a few moments while Ruby stares at him with her jaw nearly touching the ground. David realizes his mistake and shuts up quickly, but it's too late. Petrol heard the insult and storms over, blowing the whistle. "No! Wait! I'm the nice one!"

"Petrol, stop that." Ruby says, getting annoyed with the flimsy sign. "How is Pikeman going to…" Just then, she looks up to see a helicopter hovering high above them. Snake and Pikeman jump off the side of the helicopter and use parachutes to touch down safely. "I'm going to shut up now."

"Well, well, well. You blew it. Good job, Petrol." Pikeman says, patting a grinning Petrol's shoulder. "And you lost!" He points at a stricken David.

Max pulls himself out from under the stunned campers, his face redder than Ruby's ever seen it; possibly redder than even the tips of her hair. "I can't fucking believe you, you stupid moron! Suck a dick!" He shouts before his face returns to normal. "Oh, God, that's much better." He sighs contentedly.

"Now," Pikeman says, getting onto the stage, "As per our agreement, the Wood Scouts will now take Camp Campbell's best camper. Now, who's it going to be?" He asks, peering into the fearful looks on the camper's faces. Ruby manages to keep a straight face, even though she's scared right now.

Neil looks up at the stage and sees Jermy, and his fear turns to determination. "No, not Jermy Fartz!"

"Me?" Jermy asks, just as surprised as everyone else. Ruby looks at him, and quickly realizes what Neil's plan is.

"Yes! I mean, no. Please don't take Jermy!" Ruby says, falling to her knees.

"The fuck's wrong with you two?" Max asks incredulously. "Jermy's the…" He is interrupted when Neil elbows Max sharply. Max, deciding to play along, changes tune. "Uh… yeah! Anyone but Jermy Fartz."

The rest of the campers finally catch on and join in. "Yeah, don't take Jermy!" Nikki says, trying to hide her smile.

"He's my best friend!" Space Kid says, holding his hands up while flashing a wide grin.

"He is radiant und marvelous." Dolph says, the shakiest out of the group.

At first, Ruby didn't believe Pikeman would fall for such a ruse, but is quickly proven wrong by his laughter. "Well, the choice seems like the choice is obvious. Very well, then. You're coming with us."

"You don't want me. I'm the worst." Jermy says, looking down. If Ruby wasn't so eager to see him go, she almost would have felt sorrier for him.

"And so modest, too." Pikeman says, placing a hand on Jermy's shoulder. Though judging by how his smile slips a little, he too noticed the grease that is on him. "We'll see how Camp Campbell survives without Jermy Fartz!" He then laughs evilly as the Wood Scout depart from Camp Campbell.

When they have left, Gwen slaps the back of a grinning David's head. "Way to go, idiot."

"Man, we really dodged a bullet there." Max says, grateful he's not a Wood Scout.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Neil asks in surprise.

"Yeah, David. That wasn't very nice." Nikki adds, looking up at the red-haired counselor.

"What she said." Ruby adds.

"Look, guys." David says before chuckling nervously. "When there are people who are difficult to…" He pauses for a moment before restarting. "It's just that sometimes the nicest thing to do is…" He stops again before losing track of his thoughts once more. "Sometimes… just sometimes, okay? Sometimes!" He asks, a deep blush forming on David's cheeks as he stomps away.

A long moment passes before Nikki's face lights up with realization. "Ooh, I get it. He was a fa-." She says, causing Gwen to slap Nikki in the mouth.

"Nikki, shut up. Who knows if a dumbass who could get offended by that term is listening into our conversation right now." Gwen explains.

Ruby, however. "What was Nikki about to say? I've never heard it before."

She could almost feel the confused shock emanating from the four near Ruby. "God, you are dumb." Max says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

* * *

 _AN:_ All right, if anyone's getting a little tired of me following Camp Camp too much, I really do get it. I have really felt it and am annoyed by it.

But I can safely assure you, next chapter will be mostly original (there will be some reference to the episode it's following, but not much), and boy, it could be my favorite idea.

Well, I will see you then.

*Does anyone else love this show? 'Cause I do, and I think it's so awesome they nod to many of AH's great works.

Also, as I have work to do on my Special coming up, the updates might come a little slower for a bit, as I have to juggle school in.

Finally, I will probably not be updating next week as I will spend much of this week preparing for my first week back to school soon.


	8. Putting the 'F' in 'Fun'

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

As the sun rises above the local mountains of Sleepy Peak, the birds start tweeting to each other loudly. One such bird flies off of a nearby tree and starts flying through the air gracefully.

However, the moment is shattered when a loud gunshot goes off and hits the bird dead on. It squawks loudly before falling to the ground. Ruby Rose jolts forward instantly, looking around the woods. "What was that?" She stands up instantly and looks around, before looking down at Freckles in her hands. "Huh. Must have been something in my dreams." The young girl then places Freckles in her custom-made leather belt and starts making her way back to camp grounds.

Last night, on a dare from Max, Ruby went out into the forest and stayed there all night. He mentioned how there was a seemingly normal man named Steven Suptic wandering through the woods who tends to cheekily lie and supposedly lash out in anger to even his closest friends; at least, that's what the pretty blonde-haired lady said while scrolling through videos on the internet via David's phone. Max did admit that there could have been more, but he was too interested in her getting laid.

By the time the young girl still dressed in her new attire returns to the camp grounds, she blinks. She was expecting to hear the usual sounds of bickering and profanity mixed in with name-calling she has become accustomed to, but there's nothing. Cautiously, she walks towards the tent she shares with Nikki. "Wake up, Nikki!" Ruby shouts, pulling the entrance open. But she blinks once again; Nikki isn't in her bed. "What's going on?" Ruby asks, letting go. "Did they go to a game show to talk about the internet? Did they get incinerated by a satellite named after a dick that shoots lasers? Did they…" She then stops when she hears the sound of an engine roaring to life. "What is…" She then stops, her eyes widening. "We're supposed to go see the World History Museum today. Holy shit!" The huntress-in-training then starts running as fast as she can towards the main entrance to the terrible excuse of a summer camp.

Sure enough, by the time she arrives at her destination, the Camp Campbell bus is pulling away. "Wait, wait!" Ruby shouts as she continues running, but no one can hear her. As the bus starts to pick up speed, Ruby lunges forward to try and grab onto the back entrance. She misses by a long shot and slams face-first into the hard dirt road. She sits up, coughing upon exposure to the large cloud of exhaust coming from the bus. Ruby stands up and stares at the bus as it drives farther and farther away. "Crap." Ruby then kicks a rock away from her; she really wanted to go to this history museum.

She then turns around and looks at the camp grounds. "Well, I might as well get some blackmail on Gwen so she can finally get me some cookies." She then walks back to her tent, grabs her camera, and strolls over to the counselor's cabin. As Ruby slips inside, she puts on a wide grin as she walks to what is obviously Gwen's side of the cabin. Laying on her bed is a small green book with a pencil next to it. The title of the book is 'Gwen's Fanfiction.' "Okay, let's look into the mind of Gwen, shall we?"

With that, Ruby opens the book and starts flipping through the pages with a wide grin on her face. As she continues reading page after page, her grin slowly fades and is replaced by increasing shock as she continues on. In fact, by the time Ruby makes it to page 5, Ruby shuts the book and starts panting, cold sweat on her forehead. "Gwen… how did I not realize how perverted you are sooner?" Still, Ruby keeps Gwen's book and she continues looking around the cabin. Not even five seconds later, Ruby notices something tucking out from under the corner of her bed. Curious, Ruby grabs it and pulls it out.

What she pulls out is something that she remembers hearing David mention once, called a 'vinyl album.' It is a flashy album with streaks of various colors flowing towards a golden bird of sorts in the center with the name 'Sex von Shaukel Boyz' emblazed right in the middle with 'Boyz' being the biggest word. As Ruby looks over it, she notices the words 'Straut-Pout Sauerkraut' written in blue on the bottom; most likely the album name. "Who the heck's Sex von Shaukel Boyz?" Ruby asks before grinning. "It matters not; I can't wait to see Gwen's face when she realizes I've got it."

As Ruby makes her way back to her tent, she hears the loud roar of an engine. Figuring someone's come to look for her, Ruby immediately dumps her findings onto her bed, if you can call it that, and runs out to the main entrance.

But it wasn't the bus that had arrived at camp; it is a light blue van that has obviously seen better days, with the name 'Vanama' scratched out with red spray paint and written underneath was 'Sex Swing.' The side of the van pulls open and out steps a somewhat muscular man with black hair and a stubby beard, who is wearing a black tank top revealing his torso, pants with zebra imprints, knee-high boots, and orange and black spots over his blue eyes. "Oh, bloody hell, that's better." He says, stretching his back and push his hips forward. Then out steps another man with the skinniest arms Ruby has ever seen, with ripped jeans held up by purple straps, a black tank top, and wavy black hair. What stands out to Ruby the most is the green stripe streaking down his right eye and the purple sunglasses hiding his eyes.

"Don't try to avoid the subject, Ripher. I'm telling you that Max von Sydow is going to be the next celebrity to die." The scrawny man says in a shrill voice that Ruby can't help but find annoying. With a grin, she pulls out her camera and takes a picture of them.

"You're a bloody moron. Everyone knows that the Queen is going to bite it sooner or later." Ripher replies in a bored tone.

"What about Hugh Heffner?"

"Joe Elliot?"

"Oh, oh! Is this a guessing game? I pick Stan Lee!" Another male voice calls from the main body of the van, but Ruby can't see him.

"You's a bloody twit, Schling! Stan Lee's already dead." For some reason, Ripher actually looks ashamed. "Oops."

A long pause results. "What?" The voice asks before whoever is speaking starts sobbing loudly. For some reason, Ruby flashed back to the last time she was at Sleepy Peak and the elderly man who was at the museum.

"So, can we agree on Harrison Ford and be done with it?" The skinny man asks.

"Sure, whatever, bruv." Ripher says before the duo start making their way towards the camp. This is when Ruby decides to make her move.

"Hold it right there." Ruby says, stepping out from behind the tree she was hiding behind and standing in the middle of the pathway. "You shall not pass." She heard the quote a few days ago, and how it came from some guy named 'Gandalf.'

Ripper looks at her for a moment before smirking. "And who might you be, lassy?"

Ruby then pulls out Freckles and points it downward. "I want to know who you are and why you're here. If you don't comply…" she then gets an idea and turns off safety, "I'll blow your balls off."

A look of pure horror crosses Ripher's face as he covers his dick. "Bloody hell! Not the Queen's jewels! These are the only things left I can value."

"Allow me to introduce myself." The skinny man says, getting between Ruby and Ripher. "My name is Spunkie Brüseter. This here is Jamez the Ripher. We're part of this awesome rock band called Sex Swing. Have you heard of us?"

Ruby blinks at them, then lets out fits of laughter before being forced to hold her sides. "Who names their band Sex Swing?" She asks between laughs.

"Who is you to criticize our name?" Ripher asks incredulously, lowering his hands.

Before the tirade can go any further, Spunkie steps in. "We're not here to fight, young lady. Thing is, we have a gig but we kind of have no idea where we are. Our manager told me about a former colleague of his who could help us out." He then looks down at his gloved hand. "You wouldn't know a Cameron Campbell, would you?"

Ruby let out a snort. "No clue. He's been gone for over a month now. Something about the government being after him." Ruby says nonchalantly, grinning on the inside at their disparaged faces.

"Tommy Steale told you guys so!" A fourth male voice calls out from the van, over the continued sobs of the Schling.

"Aw, ruddy hell. Now how will we get to Sleepy Peak?" Ripher asks, letting his arms fall to his sides.

When Ruby hers that, she raises an eyebrow. Maybe this bizarre encounter wasn't without a purpose after all. "I know the way to Sleepy Peak. Do you mind if I tag along?" Ruby asks, then looks at Ripher. "On the condition that you don't have any dirty thoughts about me."

He covers his crotch once again. "Oh, hell, no. I may know the ladies dig me, but even I have some standards."

"Wait, will there be pizza there?" Schling asks, having stopped crying and pokes his head out of the open side-door of the van, revealing a burly man's face with long streaks along his cheeks, brown hair in a mullet, and a childish grin on his face.

"Yes, Schling, deary!" Spunkie replies, looking at the van. "Come on, let's roll!" He then thrusts his fist into the air while sticking his index and pinky fingers out and says the word 'roll' in a high-pitched manner.

Ruby snickers; this could be more entertaining than Ruby had expected. But as she's making her way to the van, she hears someone walking towards them.

Ruby freezes in place, then turns around to see who it is. To her shock, it is Gwen, who is looking extremely displeased. "Ruby, where the hell have you been?" Gwen asks angrily. "I've been looking for you all morning, and where the fuck is…" She then notices something, and her demeanor changes. Ruby takes a step back, as Gwen is starting to show a remarkable resemblance to a bobcat about to attack. "You."

She looks to where Gwen is looking and realizes she's staring at Ripher, who is also looking horrified. "Bloody hell, I didn't think I'd see you again."

"One week." Gwen says in a quiet tone. "We were together for one week, then you left me without saying goodbye. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Now, hold up, Glynda. The whole reason we were together was so I could finally have a shag using my new condoms." Ripher then holds up a pink balloon.

Ruby winces, as that would probably make things worse. But when she looks to see Gwen, the counselor is shaking form head to toe as steam is literally coming out of her ears. "You think you can get away with this?" She then reaches from behind her back and pulls out a long double-barreled shotgun. "I've been waiting to use this on you for months now. Taste my rounds, motherfucker!" She then charges forward before firing.

Ripher lets out a shriek before running towards the van, Spunkie in tow. Ruby, now officially scared of an angry Gwen, runs with the bandmates and back into the van. "Drive! Drive like you're about to get corn dogs!" Spunkie shouts.

"Tommy Steale can do that." The driver says, then they start pulling away. Just as Spunkie pulls the doors shut, another shotgun blast goes off and hits the door. He lets out an unmanly shriek, falling onto his butt.

Ruby chuckles slightly at his expense. "Alright, I'd like to know. Who the ruddy hell are you?"

"I'm Ruby Rose, and I'm guessing you guys are… con artists?" She guessed; she likes rock bands, but she honestly hopes they aren't actually named Sex Swing.

"Con artists!" Ruby then turns around to see a fourth muscular man driving the van, with pale skin, a short brown beard and shoulder-length blonde hair. "Tommy Steale should lay the beat on you for that insult!"

"Are you Tommy Steale? Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?" Ruby tilts her head to the side in confusion.

Tommy growls. "You may be a child, but you do not rock. In fact, Tommy Steale has to stop himself from shoving Spunkie's boots so far up your ass you'd be shittin' shoelaces for a month."

Ruby shivers slightly, then turns around to see the burly man the bad calls Schling, sitting on an overstuffed brown couch next to a glowing blue holographic projection of a young Asian girl in a school-girl outfit. "And what are you doing?" She asks.

"Oh, I'm just watching this drivers' training video. I had no idea so much story is put into these things." Schling replies, not even looking at Ruby. The huntress-in-training looks up at the screen to witness a rugged, and handsome in Ruby's eyes, man swerving an epic-looking dust-covered black car with a silver exhaust engine sticking out the hood around a pair of crashed cars with ease. Then a motorcyclist closely follows behind, with another black car with other engine component sticking out its hood smashes through the wrecked vehicles with ease, both of whom obsessively chase the rugged man down.

"Riiiiiiight…" Ruby replies, seeing the rugged man ram the other driver from behind before colliding with a crashed truck and a dune buggy, causing both to crash and burn in an epic manner. "I'm going to get us to Sleepy Peak." She then makes her way to the front of the van. Despite some effort, she manages to get herself seated in the passengers' seat. "Hi. I'm Ruby Rose. You must be Tommy. What instrument do you play?"

Tommy scoffs at Ruby's efforts to change the subject. "Tommy Steale plays the drums after having finished his second tour in Afghanistan, wherever that is; his dream is to put Phil Collins in his place."

"Um, who's…" Before Ruby can ask who he is, a massive explosion goes off next to them. Tommy swerves the van to the left to avoid the dirt that rains down on their windshield. "What was that?" She shouts, then rolls down her window to look outside. What Ruby sees makes her eyes bulge in horror; Gwen is driving the counselor's car several yards behind them and gaining rapidly.

"Don't worry, Ruby, I'll save you from that seductive, sexy creep!" Gwen shouts, then reaches over and picks something up. After spitting out something else, Gwen lifts the small green sphere in her hands before throwing it. Ruby never could take angry Gwen seriously before, but grenade-chucking Gwen is now one of the few people Ruby is genuinely afraid of now.

"We're under attack! Strap in, men, this is going to rock." Tommy says, then pulls the seat belt over him and click it in, before grabbing a green helmet with a fishnet covering it and places it on his head. He swerves the van left and right, left and right.

Each time, Gwen's grenades hits the ground and blows up portions of the road, pieces of asphalt flying as a result. Ruby looks back at angry Gwen, and notices that her eyes aren't leaving the van at all. An idea clicks in Ruby's mind, and she grins. "Schling!"

"Hello, friend!" Schling replies, waving.

"Do you have any pens and paper?"

"You mean that thin sheet that doesn't like my fingers? Okay." Schling asks, confused, reluctantly leaving his place.

"Aw, I can help!" Spunkie says, before tripping and scattering his luggage. "My manties!"

Ruby's eyes twitch slightly, before Schling gives her a wrinkled piece of paper and a box of crayons. Grabbing them, the Huntress-in-training pulls out the red crayon and starts scribbling madly on it. Within seconds, Ruby looks at her finished work. The words 'You Sux' is written on the bottom with a frowning face with zig-zagging lines over the head. Nodding in triumph, Ruby looks forward and notices a fork in the road directly ahead. "Turn left!" Ruby shouts, then 'accidentally' lets the paper fly out the window.

Within seconds, Ruby hears Gwen shouting in surprise, and Tommy instantly pulls to the left before stopping. As Ruby hoped, Gwen takes the other path and starts driving down the road, looking even more angry than ever if possible.

Sex Swing sits back and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was radical, Tommy!" Spunkie says, leaning between the passengers' and drivers' seats. "I could give you a kiss, you sexy driver."

Ruby cringed at Spunkie's words, while Tommy just leans back. "Tommy Steale doesn't want to do with your innuendos."

"That was bloody wicked." Ripher says, then slides the door open. He stares outside before slamming it shut. "On second thoughts, mates, our day just got stranger."

Before Ruby can inquire, they hear the sounds of a revving engine next to them. The girl freezes, before looking out the window. Outside her window pulls up a motorcycle with orange and black stripes on it, with an H printed on the side. The rider itself is quite bizarre; while he has the beard of a man, he also has a long mane of brown hair and is wearing a flowing white dress.

Ruby looks at Tommy, who looks mortified, but puts on a smile nonetheless. "Peake. How are you?"

"Wait, you know this guy?" Ruby asks, really surprised.

"Tommy Steale knows quite well. That, is our old manager, North Peake. That was before he went by the name Prickin' Peake."

"How many times have I told you miscreants?" Peake shouts, shaking his fist at the horrified Ruby. "I am not a filthy man like you are. I am a woman, and I always have been. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with how I was raised in Los Angeles. Zing!" He then flashes a wide grin, showing off pearly white teeth that almost glint.

The more Ruby's around this man, the more disturbed she feels. Quickly, she decides to get a picture of the man anyway. "So, Peake. Can we go now?"

His grin fades and proceeds to glower at Tommy. "No. I did your dare. I dressed up as a disgustingly male superhero, and I have stopped bank robberies. They are even calling me the Cock Blocker now. One week, saving five banks, that's one million dollars, plus tip."

If Ruby's jaw could fall off her face and hit the floor of the van, it would have. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Peake." Spunkie says from the side of the van. Schling isn't paying any attention to the conversation at all. "We don't even have a penny to spare."

"I didn't ask for a penny." Peake says, rage flowing from him. "One million dollars, in cash." He then brushes a piece of his hair behind his head.

"Guys, stop fighting!" Shling speaks out, finally putting his movie down and looking at Peake with a concerned face. "Save it for study hall."

Ruby slaps her face loudly, not believing this madness. "Fine, fine." Peake says. "You want me to beat it? I will, if you can beat me in a race! I need to practice for the URI anyways."

"The URI? As in the biggest unofficial drag race on the West Coast?" Ripher asks, sounding unsurprised.

"Hmph. What if Tommy Steale declines your challenge?" Tommy asks, crossing his arms.

"Oh, you won't. You see, I have many friends who would love to get what you owe them. So, are we racing or not?"

A long moment of silence results, before Tommy's face hardens. "Tommy Steale will not take your challenge!" He then pulls the stick back into drive and drives down the winding road. As they're pulling away, Ripher throws a crowbar at the motorcycle, puncturing its side.

"You won't get away from us, Sex Swing! We are legion!" Peake shouts angrily, before agrin spreads in his face and starts laughing in a maniacal manner.

As the van drives down the road at top speeds, Ripher forgetting to slide the side door shut, they hear the sound of beating hooves. Ruby looks out the window once again, but sees what looks like a crazy, muscular man with a pencil-thin moustache on his upper lip who is wearing a brown overcoat. He is riding a white horse while holding up a submachine gun. "Hello, Sex Swing! You remember me?" He then proceeds to fire his weapon at the van.

"Good Lord, it's Willy Zane. Stay low, men, we're pinned down!" Tommy shouts. Ruby, all the while, realizes the situation. She's in a car chase, an actual car chase! The young girl pulls out her camera once again and takes a selfie of herself. Once done, she looks at the image. Ruby is grinning from ear to ear and holding two fingers up with Tommy Steale focused on driving with Schling looking at his own blood after he was shot, while Spunkie and Ripher do their best to dodge Willy Zane's bullets.

Willy keeps firing until his submachine gun runs out of bullets. "Curses!" Willy shouts, accidentally slapping his submachine against his horse. It whinnies in protest and bucks Willy off, causing the man to face-plant on the ground and lose consciousness instantly.

The band starts whooping and congratulating each other. Schling pulls the door shut and is about to go back to his stage where he notices his screen is riddled with bullet holes. "Aw, poopy." He says, before sitting down on the couch, accidentally sitting on Honaka's projector.

"No one can outdrive Tommy Steale!" Tommy shouts, causing an even bigger series of whoops. "Send on any others, Tommy will take them down."

In that moment, Spunkie blinks. "Hold on, Tommy. Did he say all the people we owe are after us?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Tommy Steale will take them down!"

"Even ISIS?"

"Yeah… wait, what?" Tommy looks back at Spunkie, not believing what he just heard. "Why would ISIS be after us?"

"I may have been forced to sell them some paper I made in art school once for tem thousand dinaries, and told them it was a treasure map to a cache of missiles." Ruby blinks in response. Once she settles back into their seat, she instantly notices it. Tommy does as well and stops the van.

Directly in front of them are half a dozen dune buggies marked with a single white dot with scribbles in the inside. Out front of the van are multiple men dressed in black garb covering their whole bodies, even covering their mouths. "Sex Swing! You and all your fellow Western pigs anger us Muslims for reasons we don't understand, but the master ethnicity will still roast you alive for back-stabbing us!" The lead man says in Iraqi, before lifting up his machine gun and firing. Quickly, Tommy backs the van up before swinging around and driving the opposite direction. Ruby, deciding she needs to get in on the action too, pulls out Freckles and checks for bullets. Six bullets.

She rolls down the window and looks back at the approaching dune buggy before firing at the tire. The tire explodes and sends the dune buggy sideways and rolling, causing other dune buggies to crash right into it, sending the drivers flying. But Ruby looked away before she could witness one driver getting crushed by his own vehicle.

"What is this? Hell's Harbingers?" Tommy asks incredulously, his foot to the floor. As the van returns to the fork, Ruby makes her shout.

"Turn left! Turn left!" On instinct, Tommy turns left, swinging around and driving down the other road. The dune buggies, unprepared for the sudden turn, try to follow but all of them end up crashing on the road. Meanwhile, as the van is about to make its getaway, a lone set of eyes watches them through a pair of binoculars.

He then puts down the binoculars and turns on a walkie-talkie. "Cedar Clincher. This is Shrub Smith, reporting in. ISIS blew it, and so did Willy Zane."

"Fuck farts! I told them making a deal with that wannabe actor and his brother would backfire." Clincher shouts with an angry tone.

"Relax." Smith says, adjusting his sunglasses and looking through his sniper rifle. He then fires, the small canister attaching to the bumper of the beaten van, where it beeps red. "The device has slipped in."

"Excellent. Billy Zane will not have perished in vain. We will make Sex Swing give us back what is rightfully ours."

The sniper then slips behind a nearby tree, a thought occurring to him. "Permission to speak freely, O Mighty Cedar?"

"What?"

"Do you think we should employ the help of Troop 818 for this operation?"

A scoff can be heard on the other side of the line. "Hell no. Their cedar officer is an incompetent cockbite, and his men are too busy being happy over beating a bunch of prissy girls in sales. Enough talk, soldier. Report to point Omega. Over and out." The line goes dead. The sniper sighs before running through the forest.

Meanwhile, back with Sex Swing, the band is joyous over their victory once again and are talking about their adventures together as a band. Ruby, having nothing better to do, decides to listen to them. From the things she's heard, this band has been through some serious times.

"And then when we were driving in Texas, my manties hit Tommy in the face. Sorry for that." Spunkie says, then adds the last part with a sheepish grin. He just shrugs. "Anyway, we end up crashing on the side of the road. I ended up losing all of my makeup, and Ripher got penetrated too."

"Don't remind me, mate." Ripher mutters, rubbing his chest as if it hurt. Ruby raises both eyebrows.

"You're tougher than I thought. How did you survive an impalement like that?" Ruby asks, actually surprised.

"Lots of luck and hoping to get in one more shag." Ripher says, blinking.

"Wait, didn't you get AIDS?" Spunkie asks, causing Ruby's eyes to widen in horror.

"I don't get it. Why would he be upset if he's been given help?" Schling asks in his confused manner.

"That's not what he meant." Ruby replies, having a hard time anyone as dull-witted as Schling can possibly exist. "So, you guys are heading to Sleepy Peak to, what, get a gig?"

"Uh, sort of? We're supposed to sell our new album to pay back at least one of our bills." Spunkie says, then walks over to one of his briefcases and opens it. But when he opens it, what looks like hundreds of papers spill out across the van floor. "Aw, poopy. I had these billies all lined up and spiffy too." He then tries a different pocket and pulls out a 7-inch disc and gives it to Ruby. On the cover is a red-colored skull with teeth shaped like guitars and a musical note on the forehead, with the name 'JT Gameplay' underneath the skull sitting on a black background.

"Really? That's so cool! Can you play me one of the songs?" Ruby asks, curious as to what the band's new songs are. She fails to notice Tommy's glaring at her back.

"Oh-yay!" Spunkie says, dragging out 'yay' before taking the album to a cheap, battered radio in the corner of the van. He puts the disc in and pushes play.

As the music plays, Ruby realizes that what's coming out of the radio is not rock n' roll; it's a rap song. Not only that, but it's a rap about something Ruby's never heard of, called 'Cuphead.' The song plays on and on, before eventually stopping. "Yes?" Spunkie asks, anxiously.

Ruby just looks at him for a long moment. "As a girl who grew up with an older sister who loves rock n' roll, I know a thing or two about it. Because of this, I also have to dislike rap. While it had a decent beat, it was too repetitive for my taste and at no point during the song were there any coherent phrases stated. I believe this song is a worthless piece of crap, and may the gods have mercy upon your souls."

The band's shoulders fall. "Ha ha! Tommy Steale told us so… again." Tommy says mockingly.

"You know, a simple, 'it bloody sucks' would have done just fine." Ripher replies, sitting back in an old metal chair.

After a long silence, the bullet-riddled van manages to arrive at Sleepy Peak. As the five get out of the van, a loud bang goes off. They turn around, with Ruby pointing Freckles back in case something happens, and they see the van completely falling apart. The wheels fall off, the windshield collapses, and steam starts rising out of the hood. "Well, pop goes the weasel!" Schling pipes up, sounding cheerful as usual.

"Aw come on, we just got this thing!" Spunkie shouts, trying to throw his phone at the van only for it fall to the ground a yard away from its target. "Curse my curvy arms."

Ruby, deciding she's had enough, puts her weapon away. "Well, it was great to meet you guys and I wish you the best of luck in your career."

"You know, you rock, kid." Tommy speaks up, grinning and flashing his devil horns before the quartet start rummaging through the destroyed van for their instruments.

"Bye, friend!" Schling adds happily before following his friends.

"Later, guys." Ruby replies with a small smile before walking through town. But there's just one catch; she has never been to this part of Sleepy Peak before. As she's walking down the dust-filled streets, a large neon-highlighted letter crashes to the ground at her feet. The huntress-in-training yelps, leaping back, before looking up. Sure enough, there is a turned-off neon sign with Cameron Campbell's face on the title's left. Taking several steps back, Ruby reads the words out loud. "Cameron Campbell presents the… Sausage Party? What's a sausage party?" Curiosity winning out once again, she walks towards the single-story building, noticing a poster on the side with two men looking at each other. In the middle are words written in bold, saying 'Welcome to the Sausage Party! Boys and Girls Allowed! Open 24/7! Please pay $25 per person for entry. For an extra $10, men, you can even dress up as the Hot Dog Guy!' And at the bottom are written words in such fine print Ruby can't read it.

Then, she jumps when she sees the door open and two men stumble out, arms over their shoulders and drunkenly laughing. From out of the door, she can hear loud moans. Ruby then takes a peak through the closing door to see what's going on. The door shuts within seconds, but what Ruby saw inside made her jaw drop. She turns around and sits on the side of the road, hands shaking. "What the hell?" She mutters; she had no idea any woman could be in the position some of them were.

"Ruby!" She then looks, and instinctively flinches away; Gwen is walking towards her while actually looking concerned. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, no thanks to you." Ruby snaps, looking up at her. "I thought you were trying to kill me!"

"Sorry you had to see that." Gwen replies sheepishly. "Can we just, you know, keep this between us? Not ever mention this to David, like, ever?"

Ruby, to her own amazement, giggles in amusement at Gwen's desperation. "Sure."

"Come on, let's get you to the tour." Gwen then pulls Ruby from the building before heading to the history museum. As they are making their way back, Ruby can't help but notice that the residents of Sleepy Peak have more dilated eyes than the girl has ever seen in a person, and can't help but wonder what's going on. They make their way down the aisles, past an equally big-eyed receptionist, before catching up with the tour. Breaking from the older counselor, Ruby joins the back of the group where Max, Neil, and Nikki; the latter of which is holding the platypus tightly in her arms.

"Hey guys." Ruby says quietly. The three turn around and look at her with shocked looks.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Max asks, angrily.

"Don't you get me started." Ruby replies, pointing a finger at Max and responding in a testy manner.

"Oh, that sass. I like it!" Nikki adds happily. "Reminds me of the time my mom talked about when she had me. She said she went to see the hot dog guy, or something like that. I wasn't really listening."

"Thank goodness you weren't." Ruby muttered while her male friends are a little disturbed by what they heard.

As David continues the tour, Nikki pipes up. "I'm getting a little bored by all this. You want to cause some chaos? I saw a plane during our trip; let's fly it!"

"Hell yeah!" Max replies, and the four friends, plus the platypus, slip away and go to different exhibits. There are so many exhibits from different parts of history, so the idea was to impersonate different historical figures and annoy the hell out of as many people as possible. Max took a samurai helmet and katana, Neil a British crown with the platypus given an Egyptian headpiece, and Nikki an aviator's jacket.

As three of the friends are running around, Ruby stops at an exhibit. It is stylized like a Western, and in the middle is a scarecrow with its head held up. Around its mouth and head is an orange scarf and a wide-brimmed hat sits on its head, while it is wearing a blue poncho over a blue vest and white shirt, with black pants, leather gloves, and knee-high brown boots. For some reason, Ruby feels a certain admiration for this scarecrow, but shrugs it off and removes its scarf and hat, and puts it on herself. Eventually, they make their way towards the museum's garage. The enormous red biplane is sitting in the middle, with Nikki already sitting in the pilot's seat.

Deciding to get in, Ruby hops into the middle seat, only to realize too late Max was in it. "Get the fuck off me!" Max almost shouts in surprise. Neil and the platypus are in the back.

"So, what are we doing now?" Ruby asks, before they hear someone walking towards them.

"Get down!" Nikki whispers, and all of them duck. David walks into the room, looking around with concern.

"Guys? Guys? Where are you?"

Neil lifts his head up slightly, an idea apparent in his mind. "Help us, David!" He says, stressing it so as to make it echo. "Help us out of this pot!" David looks around, and notices an old urn in the corner of the room. He walks over to it and opens the lid.

Max and Ruby figure out what Neil's up to, and are about to make a break for it but Nikki snickers so much she doesn't move. Then she pushes her leg up, accidentally flipping a switch. The plane immediately comes to life, with the propeller spinning instantly*. It keeps moving towards the garage doors. David takes notice of the plane and shrieks, ducking to the ground for cover. "Help!" Neil shouts again, but soon, the biplane crashes through the garage doors.

Nikki, deciding to finally do it, pulls the lever towards herself. The plane lifts up off the ground and flies high into the sky. "Woohoo! This is amazing!" Nikki shouts. Ruby has stars dancing in her eyes.

"Hey! What's going on down there?" Neil asks. The four friends look over and see a dozen police vehicles and a police van in front of the building where Campbell's sausage party is going on. Despite not hearing what was going on, Ruby can see the words 'Cuck Police' written on the hood of the van. Some of the officers storm in, and within seconds, dozens of men and women run out, wearing only a white tank top and nothing else. "What the fuck is this shit?" Neil asks with alarm, watching the police trying to arrest everyone.

"Who the hell knows." Max replies in an almost bored tone, then looks back in shock. "Is that my dad down there?"

They look upon the scene as long as possible before the town of Sleepy Peak is out of site. They even see a whole sector of local police officers taking care of the massacre that was ISIS trying to catch up with Sex Swing. Eventually, they make their way back to Lake Lilac. But soon, the engine sputters and stops. "Aw shit." Max says, realizing they are out of fuel.

Within seconds, the biplane enters into a near-nose dive, heading right for the lake. "Head for the lake! Head for the lake!" Neil shouts, looking upon the gleaming water with hope.

Nikki, however, has a different target in mind. "Alright, adventurers! The landing zone has been spotted!" She then lets the plane fall faster and faster, and it is then that Ruby spots Nikki's target: The Flower Scouts' headquarters on Lake Lilac.

"No, Nikki! Pull up! Pull up!" But it is in vain; the plane touches down on the ground and smashes through three different walls of the nearest Flower Scout building. Max glowers at his friend in frustration. "Damn it, Nikki! I told you to pull up!"

But before the four can argue further, they notice that they are not alone. The three shocked Flower Scouts Ruby has come to know better than the others, Erin, Sasha, and Tabi with one 'i' are looking back at them.

"Yeah." Sasha says with her usual drawl. "Thank God we live normal lives, unlike those losers." She then starts walking away with Erin following close behind.

Tabi sees Neil, and waves at him happily before Erin drags the one-eyes blonde away. The platypus goes 'mwack' seconds later.

"Well, this has been a day. Who knew I would get into a plane crash after I was in a car chase with Sex Swing." Ruby says happily.

"Yeah." Neil says, before realizing what she said. He, Max, and Nikki turn their stares away from the Flower Scouts and towards Ruby. "Wait, what?"

* * *

 _AN:_ Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry for such a long wait, but not only have classes gotten in the way but I had to come up with this original chapter. I hope this was worth the wait. In case anyone is wondering, this episode was primarily inspired by Funhaus, so while I used some shows they're on, there are some moments where I extrapolated.

And I know this is rather late, but I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving.

I will see you guys next time with the finale of Camp Camp Season 2. And, if I'm so inclined, a character Ruby knows quite well might make an appearance.

*I know full well this isn't the accurate way for biplanes to be turned on, but I watched in original '60s Scooby Doo recently and saw this scene involving the biplane when the Black Knight made his appearance, so I decided to use that as inspiration for this scene.


	9. Friends' Day

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

As a young girl who dreams of being a hero will one day say to her family, a calm day at Camp Campbell is no day whatsoever.

There is no greater personification than today.

"Can you believe it, kids? Today's the day!" David exclaims, in his usual manner. Though for what, Ruby can't remember.

"Christmas!" Nikki exclaims excitedly. While Ruby's learned more about the world she's in, and especially about Christmas, she doesn't think that's the case.

David's enthusiasm slips and his pinches his face.

"What? No. Nikki, it's parent's day." David reminds them all.

"Oh!" Ruby exclaims, suddenly remembering what day it was. Too bad her teammates nor her dad or uncle could see this camp; they would love it. Except maybe Yang.

"We put up flyers this time and everything." Gwen reminds them all in her usual exasperated tone, pointing towards the mess hall where dozens of flyers are indeed stuck on the walls. One of the flyers unsticks form the wall and eventually finds a new home on Space Kid's helmet.

"Oh. Why did I think it was Christmas?" Nikki asks.

"Who knows." Ruby shrugs; in her mind, Nikki's almost as bad as Nora, which is not good at all.

"So, wait." Neil adds, sounding uneasy. "Our parents are showing up here? Today?"

"You betcha!" David replies, regaining his composure. "We'll get to show off everything you've learned so far this summer, and even take part in some fun activities together as a family. How fun is that?"

"That's…" Neil says. Ruby was half hoping he'd say 'exciting,' but he instead says, "Is extremely dependent on which one of my parents shows up."

"Well, you losers enjoy your family bonding. Because there's no way my folks are comin'. Guess I get to kick back and relax. Maybe I'll just order a pizza." He then pulls out David's phone.

Ruby glances at Max, and not because he's swiped David's phone again. There's something in his tone that bothers Ruby. But before she can inquire about it, a certain shady businessman shows up, wearing a black hat that looks like it was made from animal pelts. On the front is a golden laurel wreath with a red star in the center. Ruby, still oblivious to much of this world, has no idea whose symbol that is.

"Did somebody say Christmas?" Cameron Campbell asks, quickly pulling the hat off his head. David looks ecstatic at the presence of his boss, almost as excited as the first time he was in Campbell's presence.

"Santa!" Space Kid shouts. Ruby snorts loudly at the remark.

"Mr. Campbell, you're back!" David shouts.

"Back? Why, I've been here the whole time, Davey." Campbell replies.

"Bull." Ruby mutters.

"But you went to…" Gwen starts, but Campbell turns around and points at her chest.

"The. Whole. Time." He says in a dangerous tone. Ruby almost jumps, having never seen him aggressive before.

"Well, that's perfect. You're just in time for parent's day." David adds.

Judging by Campbell's flinching, he had no idea this was happening. "In time for what now?"

"Parent's day! We'll get to show off everything…"

"But there can't **be** a parent's day. Because if there's a parent's day, then all the parents will find out that they didn't send their kid to whatever stupid camp they thought they sent their kid to!"

Realization dawns on David's face. "Oh."

"Kind of late there." Ruby pipes up, unsurprised by the revelation. Campbell has always been shady.

"Davey, for the sake of Camp Campbell, you have got to cancel Parent's Day. This instant!" The dilating of Campbell's eyes makes Ruby wince slightly. He almost looks ready to kill David.

However, the tense moment is interrupted when the school bus's horn blows, and the bus pulls into the clearing.

The door swings open, revealing the Quartermaster driving the bus. "Parents are here. Sorry I'm late, I had to pick up some weird girl who insisted on coming here." Quartermaster says in an extremely bored manner, jabbing his thumb lazily to the back of the bus.

"Fuck." Campbell blurts out, knowing that he can't escape this time. Instantly, he drops David and rubs the back of his head sheepishly as the parents start stepping off the bus. "Welcome, parents, to this brilliantly established summer camp that totally doesn't have anything to do with laundering."

The parents barely give the founder a glance before they greet their children. They are just as bizarre as their children, with Nerf's mom looking like she's still in prison. However, Ruby notes that Harrison's parents treat him with much more caution and anxiety. Equally notable is that neither of Max's parents are present, just like he expected. Could they be running late, or is something else going on?

Before she can dwell too much on that, point something she never thought would happen did. "Ruby?"

Ruby freezes in place; she knows that voice all too well. Her head turns towards the bus, where sure enough, Weiss Schnee is stepping off the bus. While she is also de-aged to where she now looks twelve and the scar is gone, she still looks like the same person Ruby knows*. "Weiss!" Ruby runs over and hugs her best friend. Weiss is just too shocked by what's going to hug back. "It's so good to see you!" Ruby then lets go.

"Ruby, what in the name of Remnant is going on? Where are we? Why do you look like a 10-year-old? What are you wearing?" Weiss demands, trying to take in everything.

"We'll talk in a second."

But as Ruby's dragging Weiss away from any possible eavesdroppers, Max walks over. "Hey, Ruby."

Weiss jumps and looks at Max strangely; it seems she too thinks of Sun whenever she hears Max speak. "Hey, Max."

"Who the fuck is this?" He is looking at Weiss as he asks the question in a bored manner.

Weiss's eyes narrow in surprise when she hears that swear from someone as young as Max, said in a nonchalant manner to boot. "You imbecile! What did your mother teach you about language?"

"Oh, suck a big, juicy…"

"Whoa, guys!" Ruby shouts, stepping between them. "No need to get violent now. Weiss, this is my friend, Max. Max, this is my sister, Weiss. Speaking of family, why didn't our parent's come?"

Weiss, too shocked by the exchange, is lost for words. "I… I…"

"Oh. They sent you here because they're too busy, huh?" Ruby says, making it all up as she goes, "Figures. Dumb bitches."

Weiss's eyes now bulge and she looks like she's seen an alien. Max, on the other hand, actually looks somewhat sad before his face resumes its apathetic expression. "Right. Well, I'm going to keep David in check."

As Max is walking away, Weiss looks at her partner like she's seen her for the first time. "Ruby?"

"Yeah?"

"We have a lot to talk about. Especially about your mouth."

"Sure. Let's start from the beginning." As everyone's heading towards the Mess Hall, Ruby and Weiss start walking towards the camp. Ruby explains how she once stole the Dust crystal to see how it would work and how it sent her to a possible alternate reality, de-aging her and locking her Aura in the process, despite it coming back in bursts every now and then. She then spent most of her time here at camp and performing in a re-established Engineering Camp. "And here it is." The story ends with the duo standing in front of the old, rotting shack that is Engineering Camp. It is completely covered in soot and metal is scattered all over the place.

"Some place." Weiss mutters, too baffled by what's going on to truly comprehend it. The sheet metal canopy then collapses in front of them. "Ruby, I thought you built a compactable sniper rifle using a scythe. Why isn't this place as impressive?"

Ruby's face darkens. "Okay. There are numerous other camps here at Lake Lilac. Some of them include other camps from Camp Campbell, but no one cares about them, so they formed a Site B of sorts. Then there's the prissy Flower Scouts. You know, I think you'd make a fine Flower Scout."

"Right." Weiss drawls, not buying that for a second.

"See! I knew you'd be a Flower Scout! You sound like them already! And I occasionally break into their food storage so I can get my cookie fix. They never see me coming."

"Ruby. Please get back on topic."

"Okay. So, it all started 4 weeks ago, on July 4th. It's supposed to be this country's celebration of being rid of some evil British people. These Americans were all like, 'Hey! You guys are pushing this stuff up our asses without consent. We want the ability to push this stuff ourselves without being told how to do it.' The British, on the other hand, they were like, 'You don't like our pictures? Well, then you will die for your treachery!' Then there was a lot gun shots, cannons blaring, and something about a snake being all like, 'don't tread on me!' After that was done, they…"

"Ruby!" Weiss shouts at Ruby, interrupting her rant. "Focus. What happened on this July 4th?"

"Oh, right! Well, I was out at the Mess Hall, using the cooking grease to clean my new pet gun, which I named Freckles. Anyway, as I was on my way to give it a nice greasing, I came across the Wood Scouts. They are the most militaristic campers I have ever seen, capable of performing some effective operations. But unlike Atlas, they are totally incompetent. Like for example the time we had the Camporee. I was almost as good in shooting as their muscle, Petrol, but I managed to beat them in building Freckles. They haven't messed with me since I created Freckles."

"Can't imagine why." Weiss mutters, not believing this actually happened to her friend.

"And don't even get me started on the whole 'no cursing' business. Basically, their boss Pikeman told us, 'if you can go 24 hours without sarcasm, then we won't take your best camper.' Then the fat boy Jeremy Fartz showed up."

"What?" Weiss is confused and trying not to laugh. "Are you seriously telling me his name is Jeremy Fartz?"

"I'm sorry, his name is Jermy Fartz, my bad; anyway, he was like, 'yeah, I want to be a part of this, and I don't care what people of me or my ridiculous amount of disabilities.' He did nothing but cause a ruckus for all of us; he even told me once about how he kissed his dog. He even was like, 'he seemed to be more willing to kiss me if I slather chunky peanut butter on my lips.' Thank God we shipped him to the Wood Scouts by losing the bet. And that's not the weirdest story to tell this side of the lake. You see, the time I've been totally getting towards, they were going to fire fireworks right on the camp to burn it down and use the chaos to make us Wood Scouts. Pikeman was all like, 'yeah! Suck it you dirty fools.' And I was all like, 'oh yeah? Watch this.' I went all 'whoop whoop whoop' as I shot at them. Apparently, I hit the fireworks right and they ended up burning down the Wood Scout's mess hall. I think that's why they're not messing with us today. So, would you like to hear more of what I've been up to lately?"

"You know what?" Weiss says, holding her hand up. "No. For my innocence, and what little you have left, keep it to yourself." She then offers a small smile. "Besides, that story you told does sound funny."

"Heck yeah! I've got the whole day regarding Jermy on video and everything."

"So, Ruby, enough of this catch-up. Do you have a way of getting back home?"

"…What?"

Weiss just stares at Ruby with a deadpan look. Then she slaps her forehead. "I should have guessed. I figured something involving the Dust happened to you, so I managed to get a second batch to figure it out. But my Dust got smashed when whatever happened did. I assume you've got yours in your tent?"

"Well…" Ruby, rubs the back of her head. "I seem to need Aura to use it, and stuff. So, I figured it was worthless and used it as a fuel source to build a helper robot. I named it BOBA."

Weiss just stares at Ruby. "And where's this robot now?" Ruby shrugs. Weiss groans. "This is just great."

"Hey, don't worry. I've heard it roams the forest from time to time, and there's lots to do here at camp. How about we set this aside and I can show you what this place has to offer?"

Weiss just sighs. "Sure. Why not?" Together, they make their way back towards the camp clearing. "So, who's that?" She's pointing at the unstable stone tower where Nerris and her parents are.

"Oh, that's Nerris. She's obsessed with fantasy; she's fun to hang out with once you get used to her."

"I see." Weiss turns up her nose slightly at the site. Just then, Cameron Campbell walks onto the field as well.

"Everyone having fun?" He says, strolling by.

"Well…" Nerris sounds uncertain about the whole day.

"Good! Campe Diem!" He doesn't even look back at Nerris as he strolls through.

Weiss's eyes narrow dangerously and she crosses her arms over her chest. "That man is suspicious."

A moment passes before Ruby starts laughing hysterically, even rolling on the ground. Slowly, she gets back up and notices Nerris and her parents, even Campbell looking at Ruby is surprise. "Sorry!" She then looks at an equally surprised Weiss. "Weiss, Cameron's been fishy since day one. He's been on the run from…"

Campbell runs over and slaps Ruby's mouth closed, stopping her from speaking. "Look, you little shit." He whispers harshly. "I'm trying to get those dipshits off my back. Take my gold if that's what it takes to keep your mouth shut." He then hands Ruby a large gold coin that looks centuries old.

"Okay." Ruby then takes the coin. "Sorry about that, he's just jumpy. I sometimes imagine him being a criminal."

Despite a brief glower, Campbell moves on and Nerris's family goes back to what they were doing. "Why did you do that, Ruby?" Weiss hisses, now worried about Ruby.

"I did that for you." Ruby then gives Weiss the coin. "You wouldn't last a day here at camp. Go use this at the end of the day and stay in some hotel."

Weiss's eyes brighten. "You know, you may not make a bad team leader after all." She then takes the coin. "Thanks."

"Well, that's what friends are for." Ruby says happily, then from out of nowhere, a football flies into the back of Ruby's head. "Ow!" She hits the ground instantly with the ball landing next to her.

"Oh, mien goodness!" She gets up to see Dolph running towards her and picking up the ball.  
"I vam sorry."

"No, it's alright. Just watch where you kick that ball." She then hands him the ball. "Can you please be more careful where you kick it?"

"Vut I like kicking it at people. It's part of zhe fun of futball. I did that vonce to my British uncle, Gav. He even used zhe moment on his worthless internet channel with his dumb partner, Dan."

Ruby and Weiss look at each other. "I suppose I should give you a better introduction to Max now." Simply nodding in agreement, Weiss follows Ruby to where Max, Gwen, and David are standing.

As they approach, Harrison's parents also arrive to talk with David. "Um, excuse me?" Harrison's mom asks, as shaky as ever.

"Oh! You must be Harrison's parents. He's quite the little magician!" Weiss recoils slightly, taken completely off-guard by how David's voice sounds just like Jaune's.

"Y…yes. Um, we know. We were wondering; have you figured out what's wrong with him?"

Ruby and Weiss blink at the dad's statement. Ruby in shock and Weiss in confusion.

"Excuse me?" Gwen asks, genuinely disturbed by the question.

"The things he can do…"

"They're unnatural!" The mom cuts him off, practically shrieking.

"We were hoping that this camp could help him control…his…abilities." Though judging by the father's tone, he has a much worse word than 'abilities' in mind for what Harrison can do.

"Like, the milk in the newspaper thing?" Gwen asks uncertainly.

"The what?" Weiss asks, completely out of the loop. Ruby, however, grins at the memory.

"He made his brother disappear!" His mom shouts, making the counselors flinch and take a step back. Weiss looks really intrigued, but Ruby can't figure out why.

"Hey, guys." Harrison says, walking over to the group.

"Ah!" The parents jump away, terror on their faces.

"Oh. Still doing that, huh?" He then looks away, more depressed than Ruby's ever seen him.

David chuckles nervously. "Speaking of disappearing, where's Max?"

"So, Space Kid?" As Harrison and his parents walk away to hopefully resolve their conflict, the four turn their heads towards Space Camp, where Max is trying to light a match while Space Kid is operating on his make-shift space ship. "Can't help but notice I haven't seen any grown-ups walking around with fish bowls on their heads. Where are your parents?"

"How rude." Weiss mutters, glaring slightly at Max. If she thought Sun was ill-mannered, then he doesn't hold a candle in comparison to Max. "And doesn't he know space travel is impossible?"

Space Kid, however, either doesn't pick up Max's insult or doesn't care, Ruby can't figure out which. "Oh, my parents couldn't make it."

He stops flicking his match and looks surprised, even mildly concerned. "Oh. Really? That sucks."

"Yeah, but my uncle came instead. He's the coolest guy in the galaxy."

"Oh, really?" His concern suddenly turns to spite.

"Yup! Say, could you hand me that hydraulic monkey wrench?" But instead, Max kicks the front stand out, causing the whole ship to crash onto Space Kid. "Ah! I've been pinned!"

Max, not caring about the predicament he put Space Kid in, walks away. Weiss looks at Ruby. "You sure know how to find interesting friends." Weiss comments, not believing Max's attitude.

"He's not usually this bad." Ruby adds, wondering why Max was so spiteful right now. "Except the time he tried to kill David using a boulder."

"Wait, what?" Weiss asks, but David interrupts their conversation.

"Max! Your mother and I are very disappointed in your behavior. Don't make us ground you."

"Are they…" Weiss asks, but Ruby shakes her head.

"Okay, you're definitely taking this dumb parenting role too seriously. Am I right, Gwen?" He then lifts his hand up, expecting a high five.

However, instead of being her usual self, she kneels down and tries to be as gentle as possible. "Nah, for real, Max. Look what you did to Space Kid."

"I'll save you, buckaroo!" A new voice calls out. Everyone looks towards Space Camp, where an elderly man wearing dark pants and a blue jacket over a shirt depicting spaceships and planets runs over, lifts up the makeshift spaceship, and throws it aside.

"Uncle Buzz! My hero!" Space Kid cheers.

"Buzz Aldrin!" David and Gwen exclaim in shock, walking towards the elderly celebrity, with Max tailing them.

"Is he a celebrity?" Weiss asks.

"In this world, Buzz was one of the first men to land on the unshattered moon." Ruby replies, walking over. "The stories I hear about him are so amazing. I want to talk with him. Maybe even he can sign the spare helmet I stole from Space Kid." The duo also walk over to talk with the group, with Weiss throwing Ruby an odd look.

"I never leave a man behind, Neil!**" Buzz says jovially, rubbing Space Kid's helmet.

"Neil?!" Max and Ruby exclaim, not believing that is Space Kid's real name.

"Somebody call me?" Neil asks, walking over.

"Yup. Neil Armstrong Jr. Named after his great-grandfather. Rocket fuel runs through his veins." Buzz then proceeds to rub Space Kid's helmet.

While happy, Space Kids comments, "It tickles!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Weiss jumps at the outburst from the nerd.

"Huh. Guess that means we have two Neils now." Max says, amused about the whole situation.

Neil looks at the other Neil and waves. "Oh, hell no! I'm putting my foot down. I'm Neil. I've been here longer than you anyway."

"No, you haven't." Ruby and Space Kid say simultaneously. They briefly look at each other.

"Yeah, okay. But I'm smarter than you."

"Heh. No arguing here, Neil." Ruby snickers slightly while Weiss slaps her forehead again.

"At least he's honest." Ruby admits as Buzz walks over to the two counselors.

"Say. Aren't you two the ones who sent me that fake video of Neil walking on the moon?" The two counselors look absolutely terrified in response.

"Busted." Ruby says in a sing-song manner while Weiss is, again, confused by what's going on.

"Uh, well, technically, the footage is real. We did do some alteration."

"I know the footage was real. It was footage of **me** on the moon!" Buzz bites back, becoming increasingly impatient.

"Okay! Yeah, but we didn't think the actual Buzz Aldrin would ever see it. So, when you think about it, we're victims too?" Gwen says uncertainly.

Ruby claps loudly. "What a way to dig your grave, Gwen!"

"Zip it." Gwen hisses back.

"You're lucky I'd never hit a woman. There's no greater crime than faking a moon landing."

"David helped too." Max says, pointing towards David.

"Max!" David protests, but it's too late. Buzz punches David with such speed even Ruby had to take a second to register what happened. By the time they figured it out, they were shocked.

"Thanks for speaking up, son." Buzz comments, still looking angry about the situation.

"It's an honor, sir." Max replies, saluting the older man.

"Time for the family dinner!" Everyone hears Campbell bellow, then proceeds to march towards the Mess Hall.

Apparently, many parents skipped lunch in their desire to see their kids so everyone made a break for the mess hall. But as everyone reached the doors at the same time, they got stuck in the doorway. They start grunting loudly, trying to pull themselves free, when the Quartermaster suddenly rushes out from the kitchen. "Who's having an orgy without me?" He then realizes that it's just the parents entering, who then proceed to look at him in shock. Even Weiss is shocked by what he just said. "Oh. Um, forget I said anything. Dinner's ready." He then walks back into the kitchen.

Albeit hesitantly, the parents and campers get themselves seated in the camper's usual spots. Once everyone is settled, QM brings out dozens of trays containing steak, creamed corn, a mushy green vegetable he calls peas, and a chunky pink dessert. But instead of that dessert for Ruby, he gave her four Flower Scout cookies. Then he proceeds to dish out the mashed potatoes from a gigantic pot. He even gives out a giant plate of mashed potatoes on Ered's table, which the platypus dives into and eats it with passion. "What's…that doing there?" Weiss asks, referring to the platypus.

"Oh, that's the platypus. Because Nikki was all like, 'I want the most dangerous animal I can find to be our new mascot,' we made the sadistic and violent platypus this camp's mascot. We're even considered the Camp Campbell Pussies now too." Weiss spits out her water at the statement.

"So, you're Ruby's sister, huh? Where're you from?" Max asks, cutting into his steak and taking huge bites at a time. He then proceeds to flick a piece of his mashed potato at the platypus.

"We're from…" Weiss goes silent; she has no idea what to say.

"We're from Austin, Texas." Ruby says quickly. "Wait. Where are you from, Max?"

"Well, I'm from a small suburban town called Strangerville. My neighbors act like stereotypes, but my favorite neighbor is this senile vet named Griggs and his daughter Nikki." Max replies nonchalantly, then proceeds to grab another spoonful of mashed potatoes and flicks it. This time, it lands in the hair of the elderly grandmother of Preston.

Weiss's eye twitches violently and Ruby glances slightly at Max. Even Gwen seems fed up with the attitude, quickly snatching Max's spoon. "Damn it, Max! Would you quit being such a shit today?"

"What are you going to do, **mom**? Send me to a summer camp where you don't have to deal with me?" Ruby flinches slightly at the harsh tone. Weiss looks at Max with interest now, detecting there's more to this story than he's letting on.

Even Gwen looks rattled by the statement. "Oh. That is an iron-clad comeback."

"Okay, family!" David exclaims, breaking the tense moment with slices of chocolate cake being brought over. "Who's ready for dessert?"

"Got mine here." Ruby says, having finished her dinner already and starts chewing on her cookies.

"Whoop, Max." He then holds a slice out before pulling it back. "I still see some peas on that plate."

"Is it too late to try and get adopted by one of these other families?" Max then looks away from the counselors. "They all look slightly less miserable. Well, except Neil's." He then points towards Neil, who is becoming increasingly embarrassed as they continue talking about science and what are Layman's terms in science.

"Oh, I bet there's someone. What about that little green-haired friend of yours? What was her name? Girl Neil? And then there's your other red-haired friend? Was her name Jules or something?"

Ruby looks towards the conversation, interested in hearing where this goes. Weiss simply smirks at Ruby's expense before continuing her meal. Then Nikki and her mother, apparently named Candy, sit with the two nerds. Nikki eats Neil's cake while Candy's love of guys with money becomes blatant, and quickly turns flirty. When Nikki talks about how she's always wanted a big brother, Ruby smiles slightly. But then, Neil asks his dad to talk about something called the 'Socratic Method,' which is a puppet sock of a philosopher named 'Sock-rates,' Ruby gags violently and looks away as fast as possible.

"Need these cookies. They're unusually good." Ruby mutters before taking another ridiculously large mouthful of cookie.

Weiss looks at Ruby, concerned. "Ruby? You okay?"

"As fine as a clean gun barrel, Weiss." Ruby replies, looking at Weiss.

Max, also being disgusted with this turn of events, takes a piece of Gwen's chocolate cake and flicks it, which lands on the

"For fucks' sake!" Gwen shouts.

"No wonder Max has the mouth he does." Weiss comments, having heard the outburst, but still grateful for Max for breaking up this conversation.

"I wasn't done eating that!" She then lifts Max up off the ground by the hood of his hoodie.

"You didn't need the calories." He says in his new tone. Gwen drops him while looking at herself in disgust.

David steps forward to address the rebellious camper. "Max! You know, you are really pushing my patience today. I have half a mind to tell your parents about this when they get here."

"You're too nice." Weiss admits, although a little pleased to see David, who sounds just like Jaune, standing up to Max.

"How are you not getting this? My parents don't care about shit like this. They are not coming ever!" By now, Max sounds livid.

Everyone stops every conversation they were in to listen in to what Max has to say. But instead of hearing more, they hear a series of loud thumps on the mess hall's main doors. Ruby finishes her cookies, before looking in the same direction. For some reason, she feels really strange right now.

The doors slam open, revealing the parents that no one expected to see. "Who are they?" Weiss asks Ruby.

She giggles lightly despite her dread. "That's Jermy's parents." Her tone is becoming increasingly out of whack and she starts swaying.

"Hey, everybody!" Jermy's father comments, waving his hand.

"We're Mr. and Mrs. Fartz." His mom then asks, holding her hands to her chest.

"Have you seen our beautiful son, Jermy?"

Every parent, and camper for that matter, look like they're about to throw up at the site. Ruby giggles louder, catching Weiss's attention. Even Nikki starts laughing loudly.

Campbell looks to Gwen, hoping for an answer. "Oh. Uh, we kind of… lost him in a bet to a rival camp across the lake."

"Is this some sort of joke?" One of Ered's fathers, Agent Miller, stands up. Weiss and Ruby stare at the man who sounds exactly like their Grimm Studies professor, Port. Ruby then starts laughing a little louder than before and in an almost deranged manner.

" **Is** this some sort of joke?" Mr. Campbell asks, sweat forming on his face and hoping to God that Gwen's joking.

A moment of silence passes before Gwen answers. "He was really gross."

In response, Campbell growls and pulls out pieces of his hair. "Time for our final activity. Everybody out!" He then proceeds to jump through the mess hall's window.

"For the record, we completely understand." Mrs. Fartz replies, with her husband nodding.

But as everyone's getting ready to head towards the final activity, Ruby freezes in place.

"Uh, Ruby? You okay?" Max asks, waving his hand over her face. Weiss then notices that her pupils are huge and she's staring at seemingly nothing.

"More cookies!" Ruby shouts, then runs past Jermy's parents and towards the forest. "Cookie, cookie! Come to sugar mommy!"

Weiss looks at everyone else. "I'll be right back." She then dashes off towards the forest, hoping to find her partner.

"Ruby! Ruby!" Weiss calls out, hoping her partner would come running towards her. The heiress eventually finds her friend, moaning on the ground underneath a tree that now has a human-sized imprint on it. "There you are!" She then pulls Ruby up, who still has huge pupils.

"Are you the cookie queen?" Ruby asks, giggling loudly.

Weiss, desperate to help her friend, looks around for anything that may help the situation. After a moment, an idea comes to mind. He then lifts up her hands and starts chanting, her hands faintly sparkling blue. "…Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release my soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee." Weiss finishes then falls to the ground, nearly losing consciousness.

Ruby sits up, looking around as her silver eyes returning to their normal state. "What happened?" She then looks down at her hands, and notices that her hands, just like the rest of her body, are glowing red. "Weiss!" She then ran to her friend's side. "What did you do, Weiss?"

Weiss manages a smirk. "I used my aura to unlock yours. You're welcome."

When what Weiss clicked in Ruby's mind, she looks down at Weiss. "Wait a second! How come you have an unlocked aura? Mine got locked when I got here!"

"Unlike you, you dolt, I used a protection glyph when I used the Dust. My aura, while drained, was still unlocked when I got here."

Ruby snorts loudly. "That explanation is such bullshit."

Weiss's smirk fades. "Ruby, you really need to get a grip on your mouth."

"Whatever." Ruby waves Weiss off. "Come on! Let's get to Theater Camp; the final activity of the day."

They head towards the theater camp, where the last activity of parent's day will occur. When they arrive, they get themselves seated on the wood benches, and wait for the show to start.

Within seconds of arrival, Mr. Campbell walks onto the stage. "Boy, have we had some fun." He starts trying to keep himself from having a panic attack. "But sadly, it's time we end parent's day by having our campers show you all what they've learned here at Camp Campbell. To a degree that will surely legitimize the legality of this camp. Let's start with magic boy!" As he walks off the stage, he doesn't just prompt Harrison onto the stage; he throws the boy out front.

"Uh, okay!" Harrison replies, standing back up and brushing himself off. "Come on up, Mom and Dad! And watch me as I saw one of you in half."

The parents, however, didn't like that. "Oh, God! Please no!" The father cries as he hugs his wife almost violently.

Weiss face-palms again, feeling bad for Harrison having the parents he does. "This is going to be a long night." She then looks to Ruby who is standing up. "Ruby?"

The young red-haired girl then stands up and walks towards the back of the stage. "I'm going to get ready to show these guys some moves. Enjoy the show!" She then makes her way onto the stage, then makes sure that she still has Freckles on her. While she loves Cresent Rose, it will only cause more problems than not.

"Davey…" She hears Campbell say to David as she makes it behind the stage. "You've never let me down as far as I can remember. And I know you've never would. Which is why I need you to every single snot-nosed out there shows off whatever it is their parents signed them up for. It's either that or I'm heading to Super Guantanamo."

Ruby just stares at Campbell; never has she seen this man so desperate. And she wonders what Super Guantanamo is at all. "I've never heard of Super Guantanamo."

"Consider yourself lucky." He then walks away, after which David gives his infamous salute.

"Okay, family. You heard the man. We've got to show off whatever it is Max was…" He then falters as he realizes something. "Say, what camp did your parents sign you up for anyway?"

"It doesn't matter 'cause there's no way the other losers won't blow this thing first. Check it." Max then lifts his hand up to show Harrison was long done and Nerf is showing off what he's learned to his still-handcuffed mother. Even Ruby decides to watch and see how this plays out.

"So, you see, mom, sometimes words cut deeper than knives." Nerf then drops the knife to the ground. Even his mother starts tearing up at the presentation.

"I wish I'd learned that before I'd gone to prison. Thank you, son." The two then hug to the best of their ability. Several people in the audience give light applause, even Ruby to an extent. "Clap louder!" Both Nerf and his mother shout, prompting even louder than before.

"The hell?" Ruby then hears Max exclaim. "That was borderline heartwarming."

"That's enough, Max. It's we worked on our super-fun routine."

"Hold on! The next one will be a trainwreck for sure."

"You keep watching." Ruby replies, then gets back to work. She breaks apart wood stakes and uses leftover spray-paint to make new bullseyes. As she's making them and preparing for the trick shots she's gotten lots of practice on, Nerris and Preston give their presentations. While Nerris's show was really touching with her mother mixing up her script slightly with using terms from something called 'Pokemon' rather than her terms, but her family doesn't care at all; it made Ruby tear up a little. Preston's presentation, however, went so wrong Ruby felt bad for him. The play started out alright, though it all went to pot when the stage fell apart, revealing both Carl and Candy in the middle of passionate intercourse, with the sock puppet as a condom. Neil, Ruby, Weiss, and most of the audience are mortified at the scene and both agent Millers covering their daughter's eyes.

"Nice!" Dolph's father, Lieutenant Stuart Houston, exclaims at the sight.

"Don't let him pin you, Mom! Take on the belt!" Nikki shouts; Weiss looks at Nikki with a twitching eye. While surprised, Ruby just gets back to work. That is, until both parents roll away from the curtained stage and over two of her stakes set into the ground.

"Hey! I just set that up!" Ruby shouts, shaking her fist at them. As she's about to put together some last touches, Gwen walks past. For some reason, Gwen looks unusually somber.

"Hey, Ruby."

"Hi, Gwen. Can you, David, and Max go before me? I need to finish some last touches on my show. It's going to be great."

"I wouldn't worry about us having a show." Ruby walks working; now Gwen sounds actually sad for some reason. Curiosity getting the better of her, Ruby drops her wood boards and follows. "David…" She says once she approaches. Ruby notices Campbell stomping away, mad at somebody on the phone and questioning what she heard as 'mas dinero.' What was that about? "I…I found Max's papers." She then holds up a manila folder.

David, oblivious to the fact something's wrong, grins. "Great! We can do this!"

Max, who is standing nearby, instantly protests. "I don't want to do this!"

However, what Ruby didn't know was that Max has pushed David to his limits. "Max, that is it! I am fed up with your bad attitude. Why do you always have to bring everyone else down instead of trying just a little bit to have fun?"

"David…" Gwen says, holding out the paper.

David grabs it instantly. "Now let's all put on a happy face, go out there, and show everyone just how great you are at…" He then trails off as he reads the papers. His expression changes from anger to confusion. "Um, wait."

Max looks up at David, and to Ruby's shock, starts crying. "I told you. They don't care." He then wipes some of the tears off his shoulder. "Just make something up so we can get this over with."

A sense of dread fills Ruby's stomach. Judging by Max's words, she has a pretty strong idea of what the paper says. As he's walking away, David breaks his eyes from the folder. "Max, I… I didn't know."

"And now, for our final, and **most important** , performance." Campbell says, standing in front of the stage, though he spares David a sharp glance. David then looks between Campbell, a man he's respected for many years, and Max who is crying in the corner; Ruby just stares at Max, starting to cry herself from her memories. In that moment, David makes his choice. He throws the folder aside, scoops up Ruby before picking Max and starts running along the edge of the lake, Gwen following close behind.

"David! What the hell are you doing?" Gwen shouts as they quickly reach the camp vehicle.

"Something I should have done a long time ago." He then opens the doors. Max and Ruby look at each other before deciding to get in. Gwen gets into the passenger's seat while David gets in the driver's seat. He then starts the engine and puts the gas to the floor.

As they're driving, he turns on the radio and starts moving the knobs around. _"And on other news tonight, the infamous drag race known as the URI has been uncovered thanks to an anonymous police asset. The police are on the scene now, and all racers are quickly being shipped off to local asylums so as to return these poor people to a right state of mind. Take it away…"_

David then switches the channel, not finding that appealing. _"Want to look for spooks? Want to scare the bejeesus out of others? Don't wait, don't even try too hard! Watch as these hopeless nerds take on the spookiest cemeteries, piss themselves as they encounter the wettest condom in the closet, and much more. Tune into… Achievement Haunter! Coming soon to your local website."_

David then shuts off the radio. "No, thank you. Evening shows are so trashy."

Ruby and Max look at each other. "Uh, David? Where are we going?" Max asks, uncertain about what's going to happen.

Within seconds, David pulls into the parking lot of a local pizzeria titled 'Sleepy Peak Pizza Bros.' "How did I never notice this here before?" Ruby asks, while Max is more confused than ever before. Gwen, however, realizes what David is up to and gives him a small smile.

All four step out of the parked vehicle and head inside. As Gwen walks up to the counter to place the order, David sits down with Ruby and Max in a nearby booth. "Why are we here?" Max asks, his confusion spilling out. "What about Campbell's big show?"

"It's stupid." David replies, earning dumbfounded looks from his campers.

"What?" Max demands, his mind not coping.

"The heck?" Ruby asks, also being unable to cope with what the counselor said.

"You were right. It's stupid. You shouldn't have to pretend for anyone."

"Are you…okay?" Max asks, now sounded a little scared.

"I'm sorry, Max. I tried to always see the good in things. And I try to get others to see the same, but, pretending like things are okay when they're not, doesn't help anything. I'm sorry your parents don't care enough, Max. You have every right to be angry, but you deserve to be happy, and I hope you can find it here at camp. Even if it's not today." David tells Max, staring out the window all the time.

For once, Max makes no snide remarks, no curses. He just sits there in shock and pondering. Ruby, too is stunned by this, but decides to get something else out. "Well, don't think you're the only unlucky schmuck here at camp either, Max. My parents couldn't come, but for a different reason. My mom was an addict for stalking and killing bears in the wildlife preservations and got killed because she took her hobby too far. Dad did some weird stuff in my early life out of grief. I remember one Christmas when I was five the most. I was going down to the Christmas tree and saw something a little something else under there. Her name was Amber, and she was getting plowed by my drunk dad."

A moment of silence passes as Max and David stare at Ruby, shaking as she relieves a memory she has long suppressed. "What the fuck is with your family?" Max demands, a little disturbed.

Ruby lets out a long laugh, holding her stomach. "I don't know!" She says, wiping her eyes. "I'm just letting you know that you're not the only one with issues. Times will get tough, friendships will be pushed to limits, but as long as you remain true to who you are and not be a little jerk about it, then you will feel more satisfied about your life than before."

"You know, life sucks sometimes." Gwen admits, "But at least there's pizza." She sets down the huge pepperoni pizza in the center of the table before seating herself next to David. "Well, don't just look at it. Eat up, you little shit." Then, for the first time ever, Ruby sees Max smile; not a smirk, not a sneer, a sign of being touched by another's generosity. Between four people, the large pizza barely lasts a minute.

When everyone finishes, they stand up and walk out of the parlor. "I'll go make sure the car starts." She then walks towards the car, ignoring the large yellow school bus that just pulled up.

"David? Ruby?" Max asks, looking between them. They look at their companion in a questioning manner. In that instant, Max quickly hugs David's legs before letting go. He then turns to Ruby and hugs her tightly too. "Thank you." He whispers in Ruby's ear before pulling away. "Just so it's clear, that never happened."

"Okay, Max." David replies, smiling down at the boy.

"Whatever you say." Ruby answers sarcastically, blushing slightly.

"Seriously, I will murder you two if this gets back to the gang!" Max shouts, reverting to his old self.

Just then, Gwen pulls up in the active car. "You think everything went okay back at the camp?" She asks, rolling down the window.

"Oh, I'm sure there's nothing Mr. Campbell couldn't handle." David replies nonchalantly.

"Wait! So, if I can help you guys out at the camp, organizing activities and everything, can I get cookies?"

"Okay, Ruby." Gwen replies.

"Not the Flower Scout cookies. I seem to have a nasty reaction to those. Probably the processed sugar crusted on top."

"Done."

A moment passes. "Yes!" Ruby jumps into the air, holding out her arms in triumph. However, what she doesn't realize is that Freckles came loose from her belt and flew in the air before landing on the ground. The second it slams into the ground, a round is discharged; a wet thunk follows.

The horrified group look to see where the bullet impacted. The bullet found its target in-between the eyes of a nine-year-old blonde boy wearing an orange hoodie and orange pants, standing next to three other boys of similar age, with a whole crowd of kids behind them and accompanied by an older dirty blonde-haired man wearing sunglasses. He falls forward, his face landing in a smelly pile of dog shit. "Oh my God! She killed Kenny!" A second boy, this one wearing a blue ski-cap and wearing a brown shirt that says '100% HEMP Tegridy Farms,' shouts.

"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" Ruby exclaims, not believing she accidentally killed a younger boy.

"You bitch!" Shouts a third boy, wearing a green ushanka, orange shirt and jeans, shouts.

"Hey, Kyle. Whatever happened to 'you bastard?'" The fourth boy, a much fatter one who is wearing a red shirt and shorts a similar shade of brown as his hair, questions in a mocking tone.

"Shut the hell up, you fat fuck!" Kyle shouts back. Ruby winces, not believing this boy who's younger than her de-aged self would use these words.

"What did you say?" The sunglass-wearing man asks, looking up from the phone he was looking at. "Did you just fat-shame Cartman here? You better shut up or I will have to make you stop."

"Yeah, yeah, bite me, you mindless pussy." The large boy, Cartman, replies. Ruby, David, Gwen, and even Max gasp slightly at the comeback.

The man, however, just stares at Cartman. "Did you just associate me with female genitalia? You better watch your micro-sexism comments, you little cunt. I guess I should teach you and Kyle here a lesson." He the grabs the two boys and starts slamming them against the brick wall.

"Let's go!" Ruby says, getting into the back-seat of the car. Max does the same, with David sliding over the car and getting in. Gwen instantly pulls away and leaves the restaurant behind.

But as they're heading back towards camp, a large black truck with the golden letters 'F.B.I.' emblazoned on the side rolls by. When they finish passing, Ruby could have sworn she heard a man screaming that he wants to hire a lawyer.

She then looks at Max, who is still smiling kindly, making him look much more lively. For some reason, she blushes at the site and turns to look out the window.

"I wonder what Weiss thinks of this place." Ruby wonders out loud as they return to camp, and to start a new month at Camp Campbell.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, that's the end of the season 2 arc of Camp Camp, with a new member of the cast (who will come back one day).

And I'm back! Now that my semester's done, I should have more time to get stuff done and finish more chapters.

Just so everyone knows, simply because of the amount of stories left I would like to get to, I will be condensing this so this story will only reach season 3 (though I may add some more references to the later seasons later on, but who knows on those since they're not out yet).

Thanks for sticking with this as long as everyone has, and I look forward to starting the 3rd season.

*In case anyone's wondering what Weiss would look like now, imagine her to look like her Chibi self, but without the scar and her rapier. For this story, she left it back in her dorm.

**Just so it's clear, aside from a moment or two in the future, I will still mostly refer to him as Space Kid. Not only to keep it clear who's who, but to also because he's my favorite camper of them all.


	10. Another Day

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"So, there I was, surrounded by a dozen evil ravens, ready to pluck my eyes from my skull."

It is nighttime the day after Parents' Day, and Ruby, Max, Neil, and Nikki are all sitting in Ruby's and Nikki's tent. They listen to Ruby telling her heavily modified stories as a huntress-in-training, awe on all their faces. "Wait, wait. Ravens aren't known for that." Neil protests, confused.

"Er… sorry, I meant vultures. A dozen vultures were circling my friends and I and all hope seemed lost. That's when I decided to get bold and use my sniper rifle. Bang! Bang! Bang! One by one, the vultures fell. Heck, even my crazy step-sister fired a shotgun shell into a vulture's mouth. Eventually, only one was left. Thinking quickly, I took the most logical path to dealing with the vulture; I smacked the rifle into its head, breaking its neck in the process. We feasted on their corpses for days to come!"

A moment of silence passes. Then Nikki starts clapping loudly. "I loved that story! Tell it again!"

"Wait. Vultures are known for eating corpses of dead animals and even people. So, technically, wouldn't that make you a cannibal?" Neil asks, rubbing his chin in thought.

"Neil, shut up. I'm trying to comprehend this story." Max hisses back, also awed. "I had no idea how kick-ass you are."

"Eh, no biggie." Ruby waves off the compliments. She then lets out a loud yawn. "I'm so tired right now. Night, all." She then jumps into her bed and falls asleep almost instantly. The three campers, remembering the last disaster that occurred because she was woken up, decide to leave the girl alone and get some sleep.

As the sun rises over the mountains, Ruby starts waking up to the sounds of shuffling feet outside. Realizing she's overslept, Ruby instantly jumps out of bed and runs out, only to find the main campers heading towards the mess hall. Except as the campers reach the mess hall, they see a troubled-looking David and Gwen standing in front of the doors.

"Hey! Breakfast is inside, and I'm hungry!" Nerf says.

But as he's about to pass, Gwen starts speaking. "Campers, we have a quick announcement to make about today's activities."

"Right, Gwen." David adds, looking more anxious than Gwen, "Today, we're going to raise money to replace Quartermaster's stolen hook."

Everyone then turns their head to see a sniffling and sobbing Quartermaster, staring at the stump where his hook usually is.

"What kind of monster would do such a thing?" As he sobs even louder, Ruby takes a step back from the sight, completely unused to seeing the orgy master break down like this. But what Ruby, and every other camper, fails to notice is Gwen tucking the hook into her shorts and slipping her green shirt over.

Eventually, the campers ignore the sight and walk inside to get breakfast. It is an uneventful meal, but with the inclusion of a crying Quartermaster. Once finished and the plates turned in, QM then starts sobbing louder than before as he cleans the plate using a new hand attachment.

"Why's he so upset?" Max demands, looking at the elderly man, "He's got, like, a thousand different hand attachments."

"Most of them arguably more practical than the last." Neil adds, confused.

"I concur." Nikki replies, then pulls out one of QM's hands, this one being a fist with the forefinger sticking in the air.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Ruby asks; not even she has successfully stolen one of QM's hand attachments, and she's tried.

Gwen takes notice and runs over. "Nikki, don't touch that! You don't know where it's been." She then confiscates the hand, holding it up by the erect forefinger.

"Like up someone's asshole?" Ruby suggests.

Her attempt to gross the counselor out works. "Ew." She then throws the hand aside.

"Aw." Nikki complains, hoping to use it somehow. Just then, David walks over to talk with the quartet.

"Quartermaster's hook is his favorite. And besides, it's not just about the hand. It's-it's-it's the principle of the matter. Do you really want to spend the rest of the summer having to look at that sad face?" David asks, then points towards QM. The miserable man then blows his nose on the wet rag in his hands before using it to clean the plate.

Many campers expressed their disgust at the sight, and desire to stop it. "I'll help. I really don't trust Quartermaster's gross germs." Ruby admits.

"Exactly!" David speaks up. "Now, brace yourselves, kids. We need to raise five…hundred dollars. He then points to a nice-looking counter with the name 'Fun-Raiser' on top of an irregular shape showing the faces of QM, David, and Gwen.

"Where did you get that?" Gwen asks inquisitively.

"I bought it!" David replies happily. Max and Ruby slap their foreheads simultaneously. The red-haired counselor then realizes his mistake. "Oh." He then presses some buttons on the remote in his hands, increasing the amount to 575 dollars.

"So, like, what's the plan?" Ered asks, swishing her hair. Ruby then looks to the counselors, wondering the same thing.

Gwen instantly answers that question, looking even more stressed. "Great question. Great question. Does anybody have a plan?"

"What if we made an ad for TV?" Harrison suggests. Ruby just shakes her head at the suggestion.

"Oh, I love that! A heart-breaking call to action! Crammed with so much depressing imagery, you'd have to be heartless not to donate." Preston adds, already thinking of the possibilities of what to put in for this ad.

"Yeah. That's good." Gwen replies, warming up to this. Ruby just sighs, knowing it will do more harm than good.

"I don't know, Gwen. Don't you think that's a little…emotionally manipulative?" David asks with uncertainty.

Gwen just gives David a deadpan expression. "Yes! Come on, kids. Time to raid the film camp supplies."

"I'll lead the way. Come, campers, to victory!" Ruby shouts, then leads the campers and Gwen towards Site B. "Remember, I will do the talking here. These guys are very sensitive."

Within minutes, they reach Site B and Ruby leads them towards Film Camp, a small shack on the top of a nearby hill with a large garage nearby. "Cut! Cut!" An angry, drawling voice shouts from inside the hut. The campers just listen to the outburst as they try to figure out where the tape would be located. "Come on, shake that booty. Put some passion into the movements."

"Would you like me to **rip** the competition a new one?" A second voice, obviously a young girl, asks.

"Goddamn it, Barb!" Ripley shouts, but before they can argue any further, the campers storm in.

"Alright, you little shits. Where do you keep the video tape?" Gwen demands.

The short director, who now has ditched the top hat and has grown a short stubby beard that wraps around his mouth with a brown jacket over a button-down blue shirt, just glares at Gwen with fury. "I shall not bow down to the will of a miscreant like yourself. Your theories of life suck! En garde!" He then pulls out a rapier, twirling it in his hands before switching the sword between hands. Ruby, already having lost patience, pulls out Freckles and shoots the blade out of his hands.

"Can you do it now?" Ruby asks, smoking still flying out of the pistol's barrel.

Ripley, scared nearly shitless, chuckles weakly. "Of course, of course. Follow me." The group then follows Ripley as he pulls out a large ring filled with keys to the entrance of the garage. Picking one key, he slips it into the keyhole. Promptly, the door swings inward. "Can I go now?" He chuckles nervously.

"Beat it." Ruby replies; Ripley does so without much more persuasion. Everyone then enters the musky garage filled with piles of scrap metal as tall as the warehouse itself. Ruby's head jolts back and forth, taking in the sight. There is almost literally everything in here, including: tuxedos, an old-fashioned costume with a white ribbon and several chains draped over the older suit, a black spandex suit with a red flame on the front, phones, giant boxes of makeup kits, green teddy bears, miniature whiteboards, empty blue power-aid bottles, basketballs, and for some reason, shotguns.

She then notices a table in the far corner of the room, where numerous tools are laid out and six neat looking gadgets are laid on the wood table, anything from a motion tracker to a weird red box with straps and what looks like an attachable piece where the eyes go that glows a vibrant blue to three types of swords, including a glowing blue double-bladed sword with an orb inside. Instantly, Ruby grabs the rod-shaped blade with the glowing blade and the motion tracker; in case Max tries to pull anything on Ruby.

"Whoa, check out these costumes." Harrison exclaims, looking at four white and grey spandex suits with the zipper on the front and several places where the suits are cut so as to accommodate different pieces of white armor; one has a gauntlet, another an arm cannon, another with boots, and the last with a strange helmet with a glass front.

"Eh, they'll rid up on the crotch too much." Preston comments, looking at the wooden red archway that resembles a demon's mouth, complete with crazy black eyes staring at him, horns, and fangs dipping down. "I love this arch. It gives off a spooky vibe that makes me want to scream like a little sissy. Oh, let me at it."

"Found it!" Nerf shouts, holding up a roll of film. But then, he accidentally crushes it with his hands. "Oops."

"You klutz!" Gwen shouts, looking at the broken tape.

"Now hold on." Space Kid replies, pulling out another tape. "I've got something here." He then looks at his arm and screams. "Ants!" He then drops the tape and it smashes on the ground.

Gwen groans out loud, slapping her face. "I'll get it." She then walks over to the chest, and pulls out the last roll of empty film. "Alright, kids. I've got to keep David in check. You go film this commercial, and I'll be back to check it." Gwen then leaves Film Camp.

"So, what do we do?" Nerris asks.

Preston rubs his hands together, a grin forming on his face. "We will only do the greatest play of our lives."

 _POV Shift:_

* * *

Weiss Schnee can't stand this.

The sheer idea of sitting in a hotel room in the middle of a dingy town is insane. She should be out in the world, helping people wherever she can, but not only is she without her rapier, she promised to stay as close to Camp Campbell as possible when Ruby has found her robot and is ready to go back home.

Sighing in exasperation, she skulks over to the couch and grabs the remote. She'll do some training to stave off the boredom, but decides to see what people in this world like to watch on television first.

The television hums to life and the channel then starts showing several men wearing excessive amounts of protection charging at each other. One throws the egg-shaped ball to another and they charge down the field, only to get tackled by another player. "No thank you." Weiss says, pressing the channel button, which takes her to a list of channels. "Football? Wait. If it's football, why don't they use their feet?" Weiss just shrugs, never having been a sports fan, and switches through the channels. "Reality, reality, reality. What is with all these reality shows?"

She then lands on something that catches her attention, which will start playing in five minutes. "Bohemian Rhapsody?" Weiss asks, leaning forward. "What kind of name is Bohemian Rhapsody?" She then clicks the play button to read the summary. "'Bohemian Rhapsody is a movie based on the true story of Queen's journey from the start of the rock band to their now-legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid concert in Webley Stadium. The story chronicles lead singer Freddie Mercury's tempestuous journey from an outcast immigrant struggling to find his place in a rejecting society to his becoming a beloved and world-famous artist.' Okay, this I have to see." As a touring singer, Weiss already feels a kinship towards this man, Freddie Mercury.

She instantly clicks on the movie as the last program finishes up. But before the movie plays, the commercials start.

"Every hour…" Weiss jolts toward, eyes bulging. She must have hallucinated but she could have sworn to have heard Ruby's voice in an uncharacteristically somber tone. "Children at Camp Campbell are neglected…" The words appear on the screen in bold white words. "Without their Quartermaster able to provide for them, many campers are left hungry, and afraid. And with no one giving them the attention they need, many of them will die." As the monologue progresses, it shows three different depressing images; the first is Nerris, having thrown her sword away and is cradling herself in the fetal position while looking scared, the second is Dolph being splattered in different colors of paint while looking at the ground in a dejected manner, but it's the third that makes Weiss's breathing hitch; an image of Ruby lying on her side, screaming in silent pain while covering one of her eyes as a thick red substance trickles from the covered area, Freckles lying on the grassy ground smoking and an antique metal sign holding up a target post. As Ruby's narration concludes with 'die,' the image turns grey and lifeless.

The commercial then switches to an image of Preston sitting on an old green and yellow striped chair in the counselor's cabin, Nerf sitting on Preston's lap. "Hello, there. My name is Preston Goodplay, and for a monthly donation of just 500 dollars, you can help campers like little Nerf here get the love and affection they deserve." Weiss actually feels rather sorry for the campers in that moment, despite knowing it's a scam.

"Otherwise, I'll die. In fact, by the time you're watching this, I'm probably already dead! And it's all your fault." Nerf adds, spit flying at the screen but not hitting it.

"And I take my thoughts back." Weiss adds, not believing they could fail this in such an epic manner.

"Is that what you want? You want to **kill** kids? You disgust me." Preston replies, glowering at the screen.

"Call now and donate to receive a free tote bag." Harrison concludes; the screen is now blue with an image of a tote bag bearing QM's face and the phrase, 'Take the Time to Lend a Hand.' In the bottom of the screen is the phone number; 555-CAMP.

As the ad finishes and the screen goes black, Weiss just stares in bewilderment. "I swear, if even one person donates, I will question humanity's sanity." Weiss just shakes her head. "Ruby, what do you get yourself into half the time?" She then falls silent as the image then comes back, showing a man lying asleep on a rumbled bed.

 _Shift Back:_

* * *

Gwen, Ruby, and Preston stare at the computer raided from the derelict Computer Camp as the commercial finishes. Preston is amazed at the product, Ruby is trying not to laugh at how absurd the ad was, but Gwen is just mortified. "Nailed it." Preston exclaims, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I'm going to keep this if you don't mind." Ruby replies, holding up the film containing the drafted images of QM and the filming that took place to get the images, on top of the attempts to narrate the final product.

"So. What do you think?" Preston asks Gwen, who breaks from her stupor.

"What do I **think**?" Gwen demands. "Preston, this commercial was supposed to be about the Quartermaster's hook hand! Not about we neglect and kill children!"

Preston then shows images that Ruby has on the old-fashioned film regarding QM and Space Kid's not-so-happy reaction to them. "Yeah, all this footage just turned out be more…disturbing than sympathetic. According to our focus group. Thus, we chose to limit his visibility in the final edit."

"He wasn't in it at all!" Gwen argues.

"He was on the tote bag!" Preston barks back, pulling out the tote bag from the ad.

"Wait. How much did it cost to get these made?" Gwen then takes the tote bag, and asking in a suspicious manner.

"Not as much as it cost to put televised air time."

"What?" Gwen is now furious, slamming her fists on the table. She then pinches her face. "Hold on. How did you even pay them to put it on televised time? We are on a…tight budget!"

"We put it all on Mr. Campbell's credit card." Ruby replies, holding up a Wells Fargo credit card. "I found this in the attic one day."

"Give me that." Gwen snatches the credit card from Ruby and stomps away from the site, livid. Ruby then hears a rustling in the nearby bushes and looks over, only to see nothing.

Ruby makes her way over to the main group of campers who are just milling about and tries to figure out what to do for the day. But upon reflection, Ruby realizes something major. QM's hook hand seems cheap, 100 dollars at the max. But why are they so eager to pay off a man that creeps them out half the time, especially Ruby? And why are the counselors so urgently trying to get money?

Ruby's thoughts are interrupted when she hears Nikki shout, "Yar! I be coming for that booty!" and jumps onto a random patch of dirt, instantly digging with one of QM's many hands; this one being a shovel. Not even a moment later, a large pillar of black oil erupts from the ground. "Aw. Oil again? Where's a treasure map when you need one?" She asks as she buries the oil pillar using dirt from another spot on the ground.

Ruby just shakes her head, not wanting to know what's going through Nikki's head. She then gets back to the main. "Well, what did she think?" Ered asks, swishing her hair.

"Oh, she hates it." Ruby replies. "But I think it could be great! We need to find a way to make people watch."

"Yes, but how do ve do that?" Dolph asks, raising his hand.

"I've got it!" Preston shouts, walking over to the group. "I was going back to the counselor's cabin to pitch our masterpiece to them once more, and I heard they will be organizing this extravagant fundraiser. The entire town of Sleepy Peak is going to visit, pizza will be available to all, and it will be held at my camp!"

"Uh, okay? What does this have to do with anything?" Space Kid asks, confused.

"Don't you see? There's a projector there. If we could hack it or whatever, then we could play the ad and get people all emotional!"

The campers let out roars of approval of the idea. Then they look at Ruby. "What?"

"Can you do it?" Harrison asks.

"Oh, ye of little faith. If I can make guns from scrap metal, then I can hack a damn projector."

Mustering as much stealth as possible, the group makes their way towards Theater Camp. But as they make their way over, David and Gwen spot them.

"Oh, good. We need you guys to help out on a special project we have tonight." Gwen says, giving out two buckets of white paint before they leave to pick up pizza.

As Space Kid and Preston paint over the theater camp sign, making the new title say 'QM's Fun-Raiser,' Ruby makes her way inside the stage. "Hard to believe it was just yesterday when I got to know more about Max." She mutters, blushing slightly as she remembers the hug. Shaking her head, she grabs a step-ladder and positions it below the projector sitting on a wooden platform suspended over the stage. "You're kidding me. Who even uses these projectors anymore?" Ruby mutters, setting the chip containing the commercial on the side before making herself comfortable on the step-ladder. Sometimes, just how poor this camp is simply baffling to the girl.

The rest of the campers, once finished, hide behind the stage and look up at Ruby, who gives the thumbs up. They wait and wait and wait; before long, the entire population of Sleepy Peak arrives to see what the counselors have in store, chomping down on the free pizza. Sadly, Ruby notices that Weiss isn't in the crowd as well.

The counselors then get themselves set up and, wearing nervous grins, stand tall. The red curtains pull apart to reveal themselves to the audience. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! It warms my heart to see so many people coming out for a good cause!" David starts, managing to hide his anxiety better than Gwen.

"Hey! Is there more pizza?" A random man in the crowd asks, holding up an empty plate. Everyone looks to the stage in a questioning manner.

"No?" Gwen asks, knowing it's the wring thing to say. Instantly, the civilians start leaving.

David, knowing the audience is about to beat it, adds, "By no, we mean yes!" Ruby raises an eyebrow; she has never seen him this stressed in her entire life. Instantly, everyone sits back down with warm smiles.

"Pizza Bros. Yeah, it's me again." Gwen says in an exasperated manner. She then clicks the remote and the amount of money owed raises to 1000 dollars.

David chuckles nervously. "As I was saying, we're here for a good cause. To raise money for our poor, poor Quartermaster whose hook hand was stolen." He then clicks a remote he keeps in his pocket, and the lantern flashes to life, showing images of QM.

Ruby grins wickedly as the moment is almost upon them. QM then walks onto the stage, no longer sobbing but still cradling his hand. The audience exclaims in pity then shifts to disgust upon seeing the elderly man.

"And in order to replace it, we're going to need…" Gwen starts, finally getting off the phone, but Neil interjects with multiple pieces of paper.

"To invest in our futures!" He then points towards the surprised audience.

"Neil! What are you doing?" David asks, becoming even more nervous.

Neil either doesn't hear the question or simply ignores the counselor as he walks towards the other side of the stage, sweat breaking out on his face. "That's right, folks. I'm talking about Neil Boxs. It's not a fad, it's not a scam, and I did invest quite a lot of my dad's money in it. And so should you!" He then jumps down from the stage and starts handing out sheets of the paper. "For one night only. I'm offering those savvy enough to purchase an official certificate good for one Neil Box."

"Don't you mean, Neil book?" Another man in the audience asks.

In response, Neil give him the first sheet. "No. Box with an 'x.'"

Ruby looks down at the campers, and they give the thumbs up. She nods and pulls out the slides Gwen had assembled, replacing it with the advertisement. It starts playing as soon as Gwen tries to take control of the situation.

The counselors then try and take back control of the fiasco when Ruby feels someone tapping on her shoulder. She turns around and looks at Max. "Where were you all day?"

"Get the fuck off this ladder and I'll tell you." Max replies in a determined voice. At first, Ruby just sits still; but then she sees his determined look and jumps off the ladder, interested in hearing what he has to say.

As Ruby also walks over, she sees Nikki walking over with an oil-covered human skull in her hands. Ruby claps her hands over her mouth; was Nikki trying to get the camp shut down?

"So, why don't we start the show off with a song?" David asks, pulling his repaired guitar seemingly out of nowhere. In that moment, Max pulls out the chip and stands in the middle of the ladder.

"Oh, you're going to sing alright, David." Max says as the screen then shows his sneering face blown up on the screen.

"Now what's happening? Who is that?" A random woman in the audience asks.

"And where is the pizza?" The first man asks, making grabbing motions in the air. Ruby snickers at the sight, but wants to see how this develops.

"These counselors aren't here to 'help' the needy. They're here to steal all of your money!" Max exclaims, pointing his finger at David and Gwen.

Ruby looks at the counselors, who change from nervous to downright horrified. Her eyes narrow in accusation, wondering what in the world happened that would cause Max to make this accusation.

"Max? What are you doing?" Gwen asks cautiously, holding her hands up.

"That's funny, Gwen. Because I want to know what you're doing with the Quartermaster's stolen hook?" He then holds up David's phone, showing an image of the hook hand sticking out from under Gwen's shirt. That made Ruby's eyes bulge and even the audience gasps. Instantly, Ruby runs towards Gwen and grabs under the shirt, where the hook hand is shown to all.

The campers, in shock, start walking out from their cover to interrogate the counselors. "But, why?" Nerf asks, taking the hook from Ruby, who pouts slightly.

"And why keep it in your shorts?" Harrison demands, "That's, like, asking for trouble."

The civilians start complaining as well, voicing their own bouts of hate. Gwen, the farce being thrown off, hold her hands up in defeat. "Um, I can explain…" She starts, but a sobbing David interrupts.

"We're sorry! We needed to raise money to keep the camp from shutting down, and we didn't know what to do, so we did a bad thing and then we lied to everyone and we're so, so, sorry!"

Ruby just stares at the tear-stricken David with horror, having flashbacks to all the times she's had her. While she's seen so much she'd rather forget, she also has made many close friends here. To know that might come to an end brings a tear to Ruby's eye.

"The… camp's shutting down?" Nikki asks, looking at the counselors with large eyes.

"If…" Gwen starts, pushing David away from her, "if we can't get enough money."

"Is that true?" QM asks, walking forward. Ruby backs away from the elderly man, having no clue as to what he might do.

"Yes, Quartermaster." David answers. He then wipes the tears from his eyes. "At the end of the week, Camp Campbell…"

"You stole an amputee's prosthetic hand for a god damn profit?!" QM demands, fury etched in his voice.

Ruby jumps, taking an even larger step away from QM. Though the other campers walk off the stage and away from what will inevitably occur.

"Oh, wow. When you phrase it like that, it really does sound fucking aw…" She's interrupted once more then QM grabs her by the throat with his other hand.

"Quartermaster!" David tries to stop the carnage, but Quartermaster punches David away from him, throwing Gwen on top of him. Ruby screams slightly and dodges to the side, avoiding getting crushed by the two adults. Meanwhile, Max watches with glee and the civilians start cheering QM on.

"Now, now we know you're mad. But we were going to give it back. Swear to God!" Gwen shouts, trying to QM listen.

But he, in response, pulls a boxing glove hand out of nowhere.

"Swear to me…" He says darkly before jumping onto the counselors and brutally laying the smack down on them; to the point where Ruby covers her mouth, more horrified than amazed at how strong QM is.

"Oh, that's got to hurt, folks. But I think we can make it hurt a little more." Max adds in the manner of a spectator, walking down from the ladder. As QM continues on his vengeance quest, which causes David to scream loudly. "Rotten tomatoes, 20 dollars. Folding chairs, 100 dollars. Step right up, and you can donate your money to a cause you can believe in: watching two dickheads get exactly what they deserve!"

Max stares at Max in amazement, and a small smile forms on her face. "And the giant step-ladder here costs 150 dollars. Who wants to take this to auction, ladies and gentlemen?" She adds, stepping towards Max's side. The audience pulls out hundreds of dollars in cash and starts fighting each other over who gets what piece of merchandise. "Damn. I haven't seen people fight over merchandise this much since the Jeff Williams concert." She mutters as she gives the blonde man a rotten tomato. He then promptly throws it at Gwen's face.

The two counselors then fall towards the two friends as they count how much money they earned in the last five minutes alone. "Gotta say, I respect the underhandedness of this whole scheme, but you guys forgot one thing; people don't always give out of the kindness of their hearts. But they'll definitely pitch in to fuck over someone they hate." Max then clicks the remote, bringing the counter to 0.

"Holy shit, kids! You did it. You're a gen…" Gwen is pulled out from under David, screaming.

"I've never been more proud." David adds while being strangled before he too is given one last beat-down.

The two friends look at each other. "You wanna go?" Ruby asks.

"Nah. You have the last word." Max replies, stepping aside.

Ruby then jumps onto the bench, lifting her hands up dramatically. "He's used to serving up shitty potatoes, but tonight he's serving up justice. Give it up for the Quartermaster!"

The pissed groundskeeper then throws the counselors onto the grassy grounds, looking tired and beaten up beyond recognition. Within moments, the campers and QM encircle the bedraggled campers. QM then grabs his clothes with his good hand and pulls ripping his clothes off. Ruby gags violently at the sight of his large potbelly and two enormous silver nipple rings; upon looking at the rings, Ruby runs towards the forest and everyone can hear the sounds of retching.

Nerf, ignoring the noise, hands QM one of the folding chairs. "Now let's really get this show started, folks. Place your Neil Box!" QM, letting loose a loud scream, dives into the air and brings both his body weight and chair down upon the counselors.

As a result, a loud bang could be heard even from the quiet town of Sleepy Peak.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, this was fun writing. Quick question: did I have Ruby too much in this and I should cut her time off in future chapters, or was this just fine?

I will keep this very brief, but I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. This is a time for spending time with family and rekindling past relationships torn apart by bad mistakes.

Now, to be perfectly blunt, if you're somehow offended by that, then can you please just leave?


	11. Finding Closure

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"Are you finished yet?" Neil whispers.

The quartet of Campbell's biggest troublemakers decided that they have had a lot of excitement in the long week after the Quartermaster beat up the counselors, so they decided to pull a series of pranks to round off the week; a week filled with Ered losing and regaining confidence, spies domestic and foreign, with Nikki getting her first period on top of everything else. Ruby shuddered at that thought, knowing how nasty it can get.

Nikki gives a thumbs-up, showing that she had managed to slip some plastic spiders stolen form Magic Camp into Ered's hair while hiding her skateboard on top of the tent and Nerris's sword that she sleeps with is hidden in the same place, replaced with a long and pointy branch. But as they move on to the next tent, the group hears a familiar red-haired counselor shout. "Jasper!" The shout is then followed with an ear-piercing shriek. They follow the sound, and realize it's coming from the counselor's cabin.

"What's going on?" Ruby mutters, looking to Max. He juts shakes his head, having no idea what's going on with David either.

"Maybe… ah! Maybe he was Gwen naked." Nikki replied.

"What?" Max, Neil, and Ruby demand, not believing what Nikki just said.

"No, I doubt that. We'll just have to question him tomorrow morning." Neil replies, then lets out a yawn.

"Sure, whatever. Later, losers." Max adds then the two boys went off to their own tent.

"Yeah! I feel so good right now, I could use my forehead to crack open walnuts!" Nikki exclaims, once they return to their tent.

"Don't…do that. For your own good." Ruby replies, before getting into her own bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

The next morning, Ruby wakes up to the sounds of loud screaming. She gets out of bed and runs outside, grinning at the sight. Many of the campers are involved in hilarious reactions to pranks that were pulled the previous night. Nerris and Ered are in the middle of a brawl over who stole whose property, causing Nerris to scream loudly in pain from the brawl, Space Kid is standing nearby to the brawl but looking at the Xbox controller in his hands with confusion, Harrison is throwing up at the sight of his clothes painted so now they're white with black spots, Nerf is fuming at Dolph while covered in red paint; Nikki had placed a bucket of warmed water under Nerf's hand and splattered himself with the conveniently placed plate of red paint nearby. All the while, Preston is on stage and practicing opera signing.

"God, let's get away from these guys and get some fucking breakfast!" Max says, rubbing his temples already. The other three just nod in agreement and make their way towards the Mess Hall.

The only other occupant they can see inside is David, eating from a green bowl filled with cereal while looking at an old picture. For some reason, he looks absolutely disturbed for some reason, barely eating at all. Nikki just ignores him and goes off to pick up her own bowl of cereal, triumphant of a good night of pranks.

Once acquired, she then makes her way back to the table and slams it onto the table. "Morning, David! Man, I'm so hungry I could die!"

David screams briefly before stopping. He then chuckles nervously; not like the time he tried to scam Sleepy Peak, but a much more nervous one. "Good… good morning, Nikki."

Max also picks up on David's anxiety and decides to grill him on it.

"The fuck's wrong with you?" He asks. David, not realizing Max is sitting right next to the counselor, drops his spoon and looks around with unbridled terror. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"What? No, I didn't." David answers nervously while Nikki and Ruby start eating their oatmeal for breakfast. "Hey, unrelated: Have you ever been visited by a vision of a childhood version of one of your friends?"

"David, I'm 10." Max reminds the counselor casually. "All my friends are childhood versions of themselves."

"Sounds like David **did** see a ghost!" Nikki replies.

Ruby just shakes her head, wondering what flies through that girl's head sometimes. Space Kid, having lost interest in the game controller, walks into the Mess Hall to get himself breakfast as well.

"I saw a ghost once! He helped me find a dog." He comments as he passes by.

"Who's this 'friend' anyway?" Max asks, returning to the questioning at hand. He then adds as an afterthought, "Trees and birds don't count!"

David's mouth has been quivering throughout the question, and Ruby notices that he's on the brink of tears. Max also notices and his expression softens somewhat.

"Nobody! I didn't mean it. Leave me alone! I'm sorry!" He then breaks down sobbing and runs out of the Mess Hall, the picture once in his hands fluttering to the ground.

A moment passes before Max grabs the picture. "Huh. Normally, Gwen's the one crying before lunch." He then looks at the picture and gasps in shock.

"What's wring, Max?" Nikki asks. Wanting to see for herself, Ruby leans in and her eyes narrow with many emotions flying through her head; mainly shock and confusion.

Nikki and Neil, deciding to have a look for themselves, and they too are shocked. "Holy fucking spirit."

"Charming." Ruby replies sarcastically as she looks at the picture closer. It is an old picture with QM looking the same back then as he does now, a Mr. Campbell who has brown hair with grey streaks in it, two counselors Ruby has never seen before, and two very familiar looking kids. "You know, David is cute in this picture."

"I know that kid!" Nikki exclaims, pointing towards Jasper.

"What the hell…" Neil adds, also noticing quite clearly. "This is that kid we saw on Spooky Island. What's he doing in this old photo?"

Ruby shivers slightly. Even at this age, Ruby never really believed in ghosts, thinking of them as little more than fairy tales. But now, she might become a believer if this revelation goes the way Ruby thinks it's going.

"There's… there's got to be a totally normal explanation for this. Right? Right?" Max asks, also freaking out slightly.

Nikki, being her usual self, goes off the walls with conspiracy theories. "Maybe he's a clone. Or a Terminator! Sent forward in time to save Larry the hamster."

Ruby snorts; that hamster's been dead for one too many months now, and clones don't exist. Right?

"No. Perhaps he just happens to look like someone David knew as a kid. Right down to his physical appearance and general fashion sense. Let's just ask David."

Ruby realizes just how terrible of an idea that is within a heartbeat, and Max knows it too. He then grabs Neil's shoulder, stopping him in place.

"You can't go to David! That guy's acting like he straight-up murdered this kid! We have to find out the truth, from an unbiased source. Get info from someone else who was there."

"That guy!" Nikki shouts triumphantly, pointing at a random spot on the picture. But her aim is terrible and it lands on a black counselor Ruby has never seen in her life.

Max, too, shakes his head in exasperation. "What? Nikki, no. The Quartermaster!" He then directs her finger towards the QM.

"Eh. Right."

Of course, Ruby is opposed to the idea.

"You want us to go and talk to the Quartermaster?"

"Well, do you have any better suggestions?" Neil asks, looking away from the picture for once.

Ruby then crosses her arms and pouts slightly. "Fine. But if he says anything erotic, I'm leaving."

"Fair enough." Max replies, then gets up to look for the aged groundskeeper.

Before anyone could ask where they should start, they hear a loud clanging coming from behind the counter. Since only QM is actively allowed in this space, the four friends make their way towards this forbidden area of the Mess Hall, and find QM… microwaving forks? Ruby's eye twitches, not knowing what to say about this bizarre scene. But as Ruby's in deep thought over why he'd do this, QM starts the microwave up and her friends start their interrogation.

"Who is this kid?" Max demands.

"Why did we see this kid on Spooky Island?" Neil asks.

"Are ghosts real?" Nikki questions this time.

"Why is David so guilty about him?"

"Do you think his shorts are cool?" Ruby actually takes a moment to look at Nikki once she asks that question.

"Did you bury his body, you sick fuck?"

QM just stares at the four pre-teens, waiting for them to be finished. "Hush. Not in front of the microwave." He then walks towards the closet that leads to a second entrance to the attic while Ruby just stares at him with a dumbfounded look. Deciding he is going to talk, the four follow him inside the small locked room to which QM closes the door behind him. Ruby decides to ignore how creepy this feels, being locked in the same room with a pervert that haunts her nightmares via banging her older sister; thankfully, those dreams are really rare and less gross than the wildest dreams Ruby has ever had, involving Blake.

"Not supposed to talk about what happened to that poor boy." QM replies bluntly. Ruby's shoulders rise; maybe she could make a break for it sooner than she hoped.

Max, however, doesn't like the answer. "Why? What happened to him? Spill the beans or we'll tell everyone about your nasty old people's parties."

Ruby then takes a defiant step forward. "I have it on camera, too. So, no denying from you."

"You little heathens!" QM hisses back, his personal life being in jeopardy for the first time since his quartersister showed up. "Fine. I'll talk." Ruby starts paying attention to the elderly man while Nikki's muttering something under her breath while crossing her fingers. "Jasper did disappear from camp one day. The last time anyone saw him, he went to Spooky Island… with David!"

While Ruby could have sworn she heard thunder crackling in the background, the quartet look at each other. "So, let's hunt some spooks again!" Nikki shouts, jumping into the air.

"Come." QM replies, then leads the quartet to Lake Lilac and his rickety boat. "Take it. Find what you seek. But bring it back, or else."

"Or else what?" Max asks defiantly, but QM simply holds up his hook hand.

"Good enough for me." Ruby adds, instantly getting into the boat and looking over the engine as her friends climb onboard. Ruby then pulls the string, the motor reeving to life as a result and them nearly turning upside down instantly. She then notices a lever on the side of the motor, and figures it for steering. "I've got this!" She then makes to grab the lever, but notices a small white splotch on it. "Gross." Then, grabbing the lever while avoiding the suspicious area, pulls with all her might in the opposite direction, managing to straighten out the boat barely straightening out. "Sorry about that inconvenience." The trio glowers at Ruby for the blunder, but stay silent when they reach the island.

Once they land, they jump off and make their way through the thick forests of Spooky Island.

"Sure was nice of the Quartermaster to lend us his boat. Why do you think the floor was so sticky?" Neil asks, trying to break the tension in the air.

"Oh, you thought the floor was sticky?" Ruby asks sarcastically. "That stuff was covering the motor too.

"Better question is, how do we summon a ghost?" Max asks, leading the group with a flashlight in hand.

"Last time we saw him, he popped out of the bushes." Nikki muses out loud. They all then hear a nearby bush rustle loudly. "Like that!" Max then trains his flashlight on the bush, waiting to see what will jump out on them. Ruby reaches for her side, but realizes Freckles isn't with her.

The camp's iconic platypus leaps out of the bushes, while going, "Mwack." Neil screams in shock, leaping away from the animal. His back impacts the groups, who then roll down the hill at an alarming rate before reaching the bottom.

"Can it really be called a mascot when it just does whatever the fuck it wants?" Neil demands.

As Max glowers at Neil, Nikki, and Ruby for lying on top of him when he notices an old and dirt-covered envelope lying nearby. "What's this?" He asks.

Ruby looks in the same area, and sees the title 'Ideas' written on the front, followed by Neil and Nikki.

"A clue, perchance?" Nikki asks, getting back up. Ruby walks over a leans over Max's shoulder to get a look at its contents.

"Nah. There's nothing in here but racist scams and stupid movie ideas." Max replies, flipping through the pages.

"And 'D&D but with a dude wearing a blonde wig and drag?' The heck does that even mean?" Ruby adds.

Max then throws the 'Ideas' folder away, but Ruby catches it and holds onto the folder. After all, if she's going to finally get cookies that aren't jacked with meth, she's going to need some leverage. "No idea. But nothing that's going to get us any closer to finding Jasper."

"Somebody say my name?" The quartet whirl around to see the young boy from the old picture walking towards them. "That's right. It's me; Jasper!" Now that Ruby looks at him a little closer, Ruby can swear she can see through the boy's torso.

"Get back guys!" Nikki shouts, jumping between them and Jasper. "He'll have to terminate me first."

Jasper, baffled by what's going on, raises his hands in defense. "Whoa. No need to go postal, duderinos."

"Explain this picture than." Neil replies, pointing towards Max whose holding up the old camp photo.

Jasper's shoulders slump and he looks rather saddened. "Oh. So, you've figured it out, huh? Look, don't be mad at Davey; he didn't know what he was doing."

The entire group looks shocked once again at this revelation that David **was** involved in Jasper's death. "David?" Max asks. "So he…"

But before he comes to the startling conclusion, Nikki interrupts. "He **did** murder you!" She looks horrified, while Ruby is even more appalled. No way in hell David was capable of even indirect murder.

"I'll tell you exactly what happened. From the beginning." With a long sigh, Jasper begins his story.

"You see, I too was once a camper at Camp Campbell. I was a delusional camper, happy and content with and how Mr. Campbell ran the camp, and seemed to really favor his football team, the Chop High School Cows. Anyway, it all was came crashing down when I was named that year's best camper in the order of the sparrow. But in order to be a member of the order, I had to hike into the middle of the uncharted wilderness and bring back a stick described in a rather convoluted manner. I went on that trip with Mr. Campbell and a fellow camper of mine named Davey."

"David?" Max interrupts. "I got to wonder; what was he like in those young days. Was he overly-happy to be at camo in those days?"

Jasper shakes his head. "No, he wasn't. He acted quite a bit like you, Max; rude, questioning everything, and actively littered at camp using his favorite red squiggly cup."

Ruby snickers slightly at the thought. Jasper glares at the girl, annoyed. "Sorry. But I just can't picture David acting like Max."

"Well, he did. Anyway, we got into a trivial argument about life philosophies. I was such a square in those days. So, to solve the dilemma and show Davey the true camp spirit, he joined Campbell and I on our trek into the wilderness. Campbell, the benighted man he is while bragging on how he's the richest man in some hiking magazine, packed everything and we ventured off into the woods. For hours, we hiked only to find we were going in circles the whole time. All the while, I was becoming afraid Davey would kill us."

"Wow. I wasn't aware." Max mutters, never having known David was like this many years ago.

"Eventually, Davey pointed out we had gone in ten circles when I noticed our destination. But when I noticed our destination, I never realized that there was a chasm that separated the paths and I fell into it, despite Davey's best efforts to help me. The fall was not wack, but I still felt dandy upon impact. As Campbell and Davey made their way with the spring, I was ambushed by a bear!"

"Awesome!" Nikki exclaims. "Were they brown bears? Did they say hello?"

"No, there were two bears that day. The bear that ambushed me dragged me through the bushes, and another in the same cave. As the danger only became greater, and they raised their claws, Davey and Campbell came to my rescue. Davey, who proved himself wiser than any of us, and used my LA gear light-up shoes to blind the bears. Then, in a far-out display, Mr. Campbell used his hunting knife to kill both bears at once."

The four friends, especially Ruby, stare at the ghost of Jasper, not believing that elderly con man could do something as epic as kill two bears at once, which we were forced to haul back to camp. "You should have seen his face when he got the camp badge of honor, you could swear he became a different person; but it was Davey's best day became the worst for me. Quartermaster, deeming the use of shoes to escape, disqualified me from the Order…forever. It was on that day my eyes were opened as to how terrible things really were at camp."

Jasper lets out a bitter sigh. "Now, please follow me and I will tell you the rest of my story."

He then walks into the woods. The four friends look at each other briefly, then run after Jasper as he continues the story, not realizing his companions had lagged behind.

"As I watched my shoes burn up in the campfire, Davey tried to berate me about how the ozone layer was fragile or some such. We got into a fight that lasted for who knows how long, then Campbell arrived and told us that the camp was shutting down, unless we found his 'brilliant' and 'too good for Hollywood' ideas folder in his summer home here on Spooky Island to find new ways to bring up attendance."

Ruby's eyes glance down to the muddied and old folder filled with papers at her side; maybe a deeper glance into the pages would reveal more about how the suspicious man operates.

"But what really set me off was that he outright admitted that the camp was little more than a money laundering operation, but Davey never bat an eye at it. Not even when he sent Davey and I alone to the island, not that our camp counselors got fired, nor when he burnt a folder of documents from a box he had on him."

"Wait." Neil pipes up. "So, you're saying that Mr. Campbell had files on him the whole time, but you never noticed?"

"No! Once we got there, I just left Davey to the search and played pogs for hours, but he still wouldn't give up, going on and on about how great Campbell is before we found the idiot's ideas folder. Davey was so excited and talked about his delusions of saving the camp; he sounded almost as excited as my parents when they learned the Star Wars prequels were on their way. But, as we were making our way back from the summer house, I stumbled upon a cave. This one here."

Within that moment, the group arrives at the site of a collapsed cave. Noticing something at the corner of the entrance, Ruby walks over and pulls it out from the thick pile of dirt. It looks like an aged high school flag with an image of a red bull possessing yellow horns and butcher knife blade with the name 'Cow Chop Choppers' written below.

"Before I descended into this cave, I got into another fight with Davey. This one about my worst mistake ever. We were both losers, both trying to use each other's friendship. Davey broke first, leaving me so as to tattle on me. I trekked down, vengeance in mind, and bore witness to the greatest treasure trove I have ever seen. Pirate gold, stolen art, missiles stolen from Saddam Hussein, diamonds, and bizarre props for wacky game shows. As I took the pictures, I had knocked out the only source of light in the cave. Desperately, I clamored in the dark in search for a source of light. I found it… in a stick of dynamite. Realizing what it was, I tried throwing it away but I unintentionally lit all of the dynamite sticks. The last thing I saw was a flash of bright light, and I've been a rad ghost ever since."

The four just stare at the ghost, awed at his story. "Wow." Nikki says, the only person able to put this into words. "So, how big was the explosion. Was it like, ka-blam! Or was it more like bwaash!"

"Wait, so David didn't have anything to do with your death?" Max asks, a little confused. Ruby wasn't much better. "Then why are you haunting him?"

"I'm not haunting him!" Jasper defends himself. "It's hard for my ghostly body to travel outside of the island, so… it was difficult to get his attention. I just mainly wanted to tell him, I'm sorry." A long moment of silence passes as the campers realize the magnitude of his words. Even Ruby is on the verge of tears. "I don't blame him for the things he's said; we were both bad friends to one another. If you could tell Davey for me, maybe I might find some peace."

Ruby then nudges Neil forward. The nerd, picking up what Ruby has in mind, walks towards the ghost. "Of course we'll do that for yoouu!" As he says the last word, he tries patting Jasper's shoulder but falls through him.

Promptly, they take the boat back towards camp. By now, the sun had set, the chaos that the campers had gotten themselves into once more had settled down and they're out cold in their tents, and Gwen is busy making sure of it. Stealthily, the four make their way to the counselor's cabin, and open the door. David is inside, lying on his bed, wide awake. He sits up when he realizes whose entered. "Kids? What are you doing here?"

"We've found out why you've been freaking out! We know about Jasper." Max starts, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. As David goes back to sobbing loudly, Ruby slaps Max upside the head for his terrible wording.

"I'm just so ashamed! Jasper was my best friend. I made a poor decision. I never got the chance to apologize before his parents picked him up." David manages to get out through the sobs.

That broke Max and Ruby's silent battle, with Max gripping Ruby's hair and Ruby grabbing Max's throat; they both look at David in complete confusion, much like Nikki and Neil. "His what now?" Neil asks.

"I thought it was strange, too. Especially since the cavern disappeared, but Mr. Campbell said it was totally normal and not to question it." Three of the friends look to Nikki, who just shrugs. "Jasper must still be pretty mad at me for what I did. I haven't been able to get in touch with him ever since."

Neil makes sign language that all of his friends understand, but Nikki sits there with an open mouth before shaking her head, Ruby, having broken up with her fight with Max, nods in ascent, and Max looks perturbed. "Oh, shit." Max starts again, rising to the challenge. "Well, hey! Don't be so hard on yourself. Why, I'd bet if Jasper were here, he'd say it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah." Neil adds, "Maybe he'd say, and I'm just spitballing here, that you both treated each other poorly and that he forgives you. Probably." He then looks around awkwardly, while Ruby and Nikki just silently nod.

David just stares at his campers, not sure what to say at first. Then, he lets out a long sigh. "Maybe you're right. It's been hard accepting that I chose the camp over a friend. But I think… I think I've learned from it."

Max allows a small smile to cross his face, something Ruby notices instantly, before he returns to his normal self. "Okay. Well, that's enough closure for one fucking day. I'm going to go try not thinking about how my entire world view has been shattered."

But as the four turn around and are about to make their way back to their tents, David speaks up again. "I know what'll take your mind off things. How about we go spelunking on Spooky Island?"

"No!" All four friends exclaim at once, before leaving the counselor's cabin.

"Hey, guys. I'm happy we did this for David." Ruby pipes up. "Why don't you guys go off to the tents? I'll catch up with you later." Not waiting for a reply, Ruby runs down the dirt paths back towards the boat, where she left the ideas folder hidden in the case of an emergency.

The young girl lets out a long sigh before falling onto her butt and staring up at the starry skies. "I wonder what Weiss is up to right now."

* * *

 _POV Shift:_

* * *

"Where is it?" Weiss Schnee nearly screeches, slapping the tucked-away music store's counter violently. "I had ordered the Queen 40th Anniversary Box collection a week ago along with that portable disc player. I want to know where it is!"

"Hold on, babe. It's still pendin', you know." The blonde-haired, tank-top-wearing music shopkeeper. "It's not easy to get something so good in, m'kay."

"Well, you promised me that the collection was supposed to be in four days ago!" Weiss replies loudly and coldly. "If I don't get in soon, I'll give you something to cry about!"

The man whimpers, leaning back in his seat. Just then, the delivery man walks in. "This is for… Weiss… S-Sneeze?" The delivery man is an older man with short grey hair, wrinkly skin, and sunglasses covering his eyes.

"Weiss Schnee." She then grabs the package from the older man. "Thanks; I'll be back to buy some Mick Jagger at a later time. Have a pleasant day, sir." She gives a curt bow and walks away.

"Okay. Have a nice day, Weiss Stank." The man then replies. Weiss grips her fists tighter, but barely restrains herself from lashing out. Eventually, she makes it make to her hotel room and sets her package of music next to her new HOTT Walkman CD player. She then takes out a random disk and pushes play; the first song that starts is the title of Weiss's new favorite movie, despite the parts involving his manager making her cringe every time.

The white-haired girl lets out a long breath as she leans back into her couch. "Gods, periods suck."

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, that's that. I honestly hated writing this chapter and it was such a drag, but I did it! And the others should be much more enjoyable.

As I am going to get busy real soon, I won't have as much time to write as I once did. But I'm still going to get these chapters out as soon as I possibly can.

Thank you for the support and I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.


	12. In The City

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

Neil and Max let out loud groans as they hear Ruby and Nikki, who are all sitting next to each other in the back, ask the question. "No!" They reply snidely.

Ruby and Nikki look at each other before grinning widely. "Where are we going then?" Ruby asks.

Before Max can make a particularly snide remark, they hear David clearing his throat. "Okay, campers! We're approaching the big city now. According to a study I read in , you are twenty times more likely to die in the city than anywhere else. So, listen very carefully to everything I say and you'll narrowly avoid getting stabbed, kidnapped, or worse."

"Nice." Ruby replies in a deadpan once she hears the grim announcement; but after her attempted mugging by Roman Torchwick, she supposes that there's some truth to the paranoia. The others, however, don't take this so seriously as evidenced by their loud cheering.

"No, no." Gwen chides the campers; she is dressed in the rather nice suit she wore when she went off to do Gods-know-what in the city… and the last time she tried looking this nice was her date with the fish man. That grossed Ruby out to no end. "Don't mistake this for some fun field trip situation. We're just here because David and I have to meet with some corporate schmoes and couldn't just leave you alone with Quartermaster because… it's Quartermaster." David, Nikki, Neil, Max, and Ruby nod in agreement with the statement.

"Nobody wants that." He grumbles as the bus hurtles along the cement roads.

"Let's go over some ground rules. First things first, try and breath as little air as possible as the air around these forsaken parts is polluted and poisonous." David adds. Neil lets out a sigh at David's statement, but miraculously restrains himself.

"Roger that!" Space Kid pipes up, saluting the counselor before proceeding to let in a lot of air then holding his breath. Meanwhile, Max is hanging out the window and staring out at the roaring city, taking in the sites. Then, whether to spite David and Gwen or not Ruby will never be sure, he inhales deeply.

"Ah! Can ya smell that? The sweet, sweet, smell of smoke and hot garbage." Max adds, actually smiling about being back.

"I smell burnt cat meat!" Nikki adds, taking in her own inhale. Ruby scoots to the side slightly, then decides to take her own waft.

"I smell…beer?"

Before Ruby can question why she smells this, Max speaks up again. "My friends. This whole summer's been leading up to this exact moment! Now you guys will finally see why camp is no place to spend your summer."

Ruby shakes her head; she'd rather be out in the country herself, but oh well. Neil, on the other hand… "Holy crap! The signal here is amazing! I've never seen a fifth bar before!" His eyes are alight with joy.

"That's nothing." Max chides. "I'm going to show everything this place has to offer 'til you completely forget the shithole we came from."

By the time Max leaves his promises hanging in the air, the bus pulls to a grinding halt. All of the campers enthusiastically jump out of the bus before the two counselors step out. "Alright, kids. From now on, don't touch anything, talk to anyone, and never make eye contact." David says, then nearly jumps out of his skin when a random man walking by sneezes loudly. "Here's everything I have. Please don't hurt me!" He then continues walking away, briefly being weirded out by the counselor's outburst.

Nikki then starts breathing in her bag filled with dirt, held on a leash by QM, with her three friends nearby. "On my mark, we sneak out and blend in the crowd like we own the place." Max whispers to Nikki, who nods in agreement. He then notices her leash. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"This? Please." Nikki waves the concern off. "I was the kid who inspired the prototype to this baby." Neil and Ruby just shake their heads silently at Nikki's antics.

"Tsk, tsk." David remarks, looking up at the tall building. "Those poor souls at Camp Corp. Locked away in their cold, concrete prison. Never experiencing the joys of the outdoors. I hope they won't be too jealous meeting us." Something told Max and Ruby, though, that won't be the case.

"Come on! Meeting starts in 15, and I'm going to need a nervous poo before." Gwen states, holding her stomach. Deciding that the quartet didn't want to stick around when this happens, especially what happened on Taco Tuesday night, they quickly make their break. Nikki, somehow, manages to slip off her leash and place it upon Space Kid's helmet without QM noticing, or if he did, he just doesn't care.

Once they completely lose their group, the four just silently and casually stroll down the nearest sidewalk of the dingy city. In the distance, the sounds of vehicles moving and honking at each other can be heard. "So, now that we're outlaws in the big city, should we join a gang?" Nikki asks, breaking the brief silence.

"I heard the Natural History Museum has a new exhibition called 'Clouds: The Silent Killer!'" Neil adds.

"I love video games! Can we go find a local basement filled with hopeless nerds and see what's going on in the gaming industry?" Ruby suggests excitedly.

"Pass, pass, and pass." Max replies to all three suggestions. "We're starting here." He then points straight ahead, where the group notices a rather large grouping of food trucks are present. "This is where the best food in the world comes from; the back of a greasy truck."

"Food!" Nikki shouts, throwing her hands up and bag of dirt aside. Neil, Max, and Ruby also smile lustfully at the sight, breakfast from camp long forgotten. "See you in three hours!" Like that, the four friends go their separate ways and head off to different trucks.

Ruby made her way towards the truck called 'Jésus Mary & Achi.' Thankfully, there was only a single people in line. After a rather short wait, Ruby got to the front. "H-Hi, there, Solid Snake cosplayer. What can I do for you? *" A rather skinny man with a long face, wearing a black trucker hat turned backwards with a lightning bolt on the front and an apron asks. The huntress-in-training then looks at the menu, and the long list of tacos and quesadillas galore.

Then Ruby realizes a slight problem she's put herself into. Rapidly, she gives herself a pat down, before letting out a sigh of relief. The ten dollar bill she swiped from David before they departed is still in her pockets. "I'll take one order of the chorizo, one chicken, one car…car…"

"C-Carnitas?"

"Yes! And just some water."

"T-That will be 9 dollars a-and 24 cents."

"Hey, wait a minute! That's supposed to come out to…" Ruby quickly did the math in her head quickly. "8 dollars and 40 cents. Why are you upselling me?" She tries to ignore the loud grumbling.

"T-That's a little something called taxes. Where have you been living, young lady?"

Ruby lets out a sigh. "Fine." She then gives the chef the ten dollars. "Keep the change." She then sits down at a nearby table and looks around in boredom.

Then her eyes fall on Max who is standing in the back of the longest line in the entire parking lot, and not looking happy at all about the situation. Ruby giggles at the sight of Max on the verge of pulling his hair out while more people who 'know each other' cut in front of him. Looking around, she then notices Nikki leaning against a truck counter, looking up at the chef in what seems to be horror. Then she starts gagging loud enough for Ruby to hear her, causing the black-and-red-haired girl to cringe at the noise. What on Earth did Nikki get herself into this time?

Turning her head once more, she then spots Neil on his way to a truck that seems to be science-themed. As they're talking, Neil pulls out his sheet of Neilbux. Obviously, the man didn't take the currency as Neil crumpled up the paper and threw it on the ground.

In that moment, the chef called up. "One loud redhead, order up!" Ruby instantly gets up and walks over to the truck. But there was another problem when she got to the truck. "Hey! I ordered three sets of tacos! There's only three here!"

"Uh, no. Y-You specifically ordered three tacos and a water." The chef replies in a bored tone. "Do you think I'm treating you unfairly?"

Ruby is about to respond when she decides that getting into a fight with the chef isn't the best idea. Silently, she takes the food and makes her way back. As she chomping down on her tacos, Ruby notices Neil on the verge of a breakout. In the most rapid fashion possible, Ruby chugs her water and chomps down her tacos. But as she finishes her last one, a sharp pain spikes through her mouth. In a burst of pain, Ruby screams in pain.

"S-Shut it!" The chef shouts before asking the next customer what he wants for lunch. As Ruby's getting back to her feet, she freezes. Something is tickling her nose; something she's not had in a long time. Turning her head in the direction of the smell, she sees a rather large man just as tanned as Gwen and buzzed black hair walks into a side alley, a plastic plate of warm chocolate chip cookies in his hands.

Violently mouthwatering, the young girl leaves her trash on the table and follows the man into the back alley. She follows him for a bit longer before stopping and peaking around the corner. The big man is standing in front of a door which he opens with one of his feet and walks through.

Using her semblance, she reaches the door and uses a nearby piece of wood to hold it open. Then, she makes her way down the concrete stairs and into what seems to be a basement. She finds the big man, who Ruby now notices is wearing round glasses, a grey shirt with loose plaid pants, sitting on a couch in front of a TV screen showing Pac-Man. At his right side is the plate of three dozen cookies next to numerous bags of unopened chips. "Yeah, Jose." The man says, scarfing a cookie down in one mouthful while playing the game. "Yeah, Jose, you're the best at multitasking. The evidence is right here in front of me. Eating with one hand, and playing with the other." Silently, Ruby jumps behind the couch and crawls to the right arm. "Oh, yeah. Two hands now. Now you're in trouble, my delicious friends."

While he's playing his game, his attention is diverted from the large plate of cookies. Ruby reaches forward with shaking hands, and nabs two of the warm cookies. Not wanting to wait any longer, Ruby stuffs them into her mouth. The sheer warmth and flavor of the dessert is so overwhelming for the young girl that she lets out a quiet moan. Then, she covers her mouth, but it's too late.

Jose puts down the controller and looks over at the girl with a deep frown on his face. It would be hilarious to look at if she wasn't the subject of the stare. "I've always wondered what a white girl tastes like. Why don't we find out?"

Ruby shakes her head and bolts away. But as she's so scared of the bigger man, she completely misses the entry at she entered from and sprints through a rather long hallway. Only two doors are present on either side of the hall. One on the right has that same lightning bolt on the front and a metal plaque that reads 'Video Game Vault' while the other on the left has a wooden sign that reads 'Jocelyn's Office. Keep Out, Miscreants!' At the end of the hall is another set of stairs, these made of wood. Ruby makes it up to the stairs as she hears a loud thumping behind her, causing another woman to start shouting in outrage.

As the girl starts laughing at her pursuer's predicament, she accidentally slams into another person and falls onto her ass. She looks up and notices a rather handsome man with short black hair, a stubby beard, and dark eyes. "Hi."

"Hi. I'm Nick. You are?"

"Ruby. I'm so sorry for running into you; say, where is the nearest entrance?" She asks.

"Okay, just cut through Ben and Chad's station there; just make sure they aren't in character first. But I have a quick favor to ask." He then chuckles nervously. "My job here is to do animation and research, and I like to make Top 10 lists. My most recent venture is on Most Embarrassing Moments. Do you have any ideas on what number one should be?"

"That's easy. It's watching a 75-year-old man in an orgy."

"Wait, what?" Nick looks taken aback by the suggestion.

"Gotta go; bye." Ruby then dashes off past Nick, not wanting to be caught by Jose now. She follows Nick's directions and passing by numerous other rooms before arriving at a rather large room with what looks like a furnace in the back, walls filled to the brim with any number of items, such as plastic guns and bowling balls of all things. On one side of the room is a table filled with strange glass bottles containing strange chemicals while another table on the opposite side of the room is loaded with boxes.

But standing in the middle of the room are the two strangest men Ruby has ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The taller man has blonde hair that is dyed silver and is wearing green-tinted glasses with a plain green shirt under a white jacket; but his most notable attribute is his silver replacement arm. The other man is much squatter, has brown hair with a thick moustache, and is wearing a white tank top under a ripped flannel jacket and a red and white trucker hat. Most noticeable of all, however, is that one of his legs is replaced with a shotgun. Who knows, if Ruby loses a leg one day, she should do just that.

"It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win… uh, hello? Who the hell are you?" The tall man asks uncertainly, finally taking notice of Ruby.

"I'm tired of answering that question. Who are you?"

"I'm Wizard, and this is Boomstick." 'Wiz' replies, then gestures to his companion.

"Hey, there! Before we get to make the premire for our newest season, I hope you're here to see the greatest performance ever. Me winning the beer chugging contest!" 'Boomstick' answers, holding up a can of beer.

"You can't act your way out of a paper bag." Wiz replies, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh yeah? How about that time I experimented with masturbating?"

Ruby chokes on air for a moment before Wiz starts gagging violently. "God, now I can't get that image out of my mind."

"What if I told you I masturbated to the thought of sexy you?" That causes Ruby to gag even more violently.

"You what?" Wiz replies in a low and dangerous tone.

"You know, I think I have to go check on my armory and…no, I'm gonna check up on Jocelyn to make sure our research is complete. Like right fucking now." With that, Boomstick makes a run for it much faster than Ruby would have guessed.

"Get back here, moron!" Wiz shouts before giving chase to Boomstick. Ruby just stares at the scene, not sure what to make of any of this.

Then she hears the sound of crashing and Jose crashes through the wall, more enraged than Ruby could have imagined. Gulping, she makes a break for the emergency exit and slams the door behind her. Not even looking back, Ruby makes her way out of an alley and spots a certain group of people Ruby and her friends had ditched early on. "Hey, guys. What have you guys been up to?"

That catches their attention and they instantly make their way towards her. Despite all of the campers exclaiming relief, Nerf is the loudest of the bunch. "Ruby, if you ever scare me like that again, I'm going to give you a punch to the face." Nerf says, punching his fist into an open palm.

Despite the threat, Ruby starts laughing wildly. "After nearly getting eaten, I missed you."

"You were nearly what?" David screeches, his eyes widening in horror.

"Never mind. Let's go find the rest of our campers." That pulls David back to reality and leads the group through the city, the streets still noisy yet devoid of cars. As they continue down their aimless path, Ruby notices an old-fashioned movie theater on the other side of the street, where a sign boldly proclaims, 'Terrence and Philip: Asses of Fire! Re-Played Tonight Only!' Ruby stares at that sign for a long moment, making a mental note to look into it later.

"Okay, guys. I have no idea what to do. How are we going to find Max, Neil, and Nikki out here?" David asks, on the verge of chewing on his nails.

"Isn't it obvious?" Nerris asks her counselor. "Any adventurer knows that getting a birds' eye view of the surrounding land is our best course of action." She then points towards a giant tower Ruby never noticed before.

"Hey… what a fabulous idea! Alright gang, we have a tower to climb!" With the redhaired counselor regaining his usual cheer, they make their way to the top of the tower. Along the way, Ruby and the other campers trade stories of what they've been up to in the city.

Ruby feels really bad for David being given a knife from a complete stranger and the strange types of people encountered certainly raised her eyebrows. In turn, the campers are stunned at how a big man really did try to eat her and that she encountered Wiz and Boomstick. Apparently, they are well known throughout the internet; another thing Ruby needs to look into one day.

Once they arrive at the top, the campers start showing off and just relaxing. David starts pacing the ground relentlessly while Ruby looks on with concern and Nerf looks through a pair of built-in scopes of sorts using a quarter he found on the ground along the way. "Hey! They're shooting a movie down there." He exclaims excitedly.

David breaks from his stupor and moves right next to Nerf. Ruby's caught a little off-guard as she's never seen him this fast before. "Can you see Max, Nikki, or Neil?"

"Whoa!" Nerf exclaims at what he's witnessing. "I score pizza!"

"Oh, maybe they're behind that beautiful building or by that gorgeous bridge over there. Or next to the… huh. It's… actually kind of nice up here." David admits after a little bit.

"You can say that again." Ruby replies, staring off into the city that stretches out as far as she can see; a sense of nostalgia hits the young girl, but she does her best to ignore it. What catches her eye is the giant black billboard in the distance that reads 'DBX: Coming Soon to your local Internet Channel' right next to a white billboard showing a whole cast of men on w white background and black letter hanging above them that reads 'Tune into Hard News, the only news station for your favorite games! SIDE 200.6.'

Before she can find any other signs or anything else that catches her eyes, a loud grinding can be heard. The structure is rotating at a rather slow place, but it still holds Ruby's attention as she wonders how it works. But as the tower finally stops moving, she spots a very familiar person staring outward.

"Gah! Hey! Down and front, asshole!" Max shouts, looking deeply annoyed.

"Max?!" David exclaims, not believing the boy was right behind him all along.

An expression of realization dawns on the boy, who just sits back down in his booth across from Neil.

"We gotta go!" The group can faintly hear Nikki say, walking towards her two friends with a makeshift bag filled with food at her side.

It didn't take long before David figured out what's going on and walked inside. "Give it back!" The chef exclaims when he catches up to Nikki, looking and sounding strangely similar to the man who served Ruby a mere hour before.

"I'm so sorry for whatever Nikki has done. I'll pay for it if it helps any." David, after stepping between the green-haired girl and the angry man, says.

The man stops his little tirade and stares at David. He then holds his hand out. "Fork it over, then." Not wanting to cause any more trouble, David gives him a credit card.

Soon, the business is sorted out and the group decides to leave as soon as possible. Of course, since David is leading the group, he decides to take them to a local park where the campers stretch out.

David, in a much more cheerful mood, waves at a man passing by. "You know, kids? This experience has taught me a lot. No matter what happens, everything always turns out well in the end. Always trust strangers, say 'yes' to riding in unmarked vans, and never fear knife-wielding muggers."

Ruby, who is running laps to pass the time, hears his optimism and feels like he's jinxed everything, not to mention learned every wrong lesson about being in the city. "I can't wait to tell my parents." Harrison, who is sitting next to David, replies in a similar manner to David.

After one last lap, Ruby decides to stop running and make her way over to Max. Nikki is of a similar mindset, holding vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone as she walks over. "This park is totally cool, Max! I see why you like the city so much."

Max, however, is in a foul mood, even when Ruby sits right next to him. "Yeah." He starts, exaggerated happiness on his face. "Told you the city's cool. I totally saved the best part for last."

Ruby tilts her head to the side, curious as to whether or not Max is bluffing. Before he can answer, Neil also walks over. "The architecture here is impressive. And there are hardly any people around to disturb me with their existence."

"What kind of nerd are you, Neil?" Ruby has to ask.

Before he can respond, Max pipes up. "Yes! Yes. This is the nicest thing we did today by far."

"This place kind of reminds me of Camp Campbell." David adds, walking over to the quartet.

Max's smile falls quicker than a pile of rocks dropped off a building. "…Shit."

"This was fun." Nerf admits, "But I kind of miss camp."

Of all people, he was the most unexpected. Preston also walks over, drawn to their conversation. "Our Shakespeare in the park productions are superior by far."

Even Ered decides to join the group. "Yeah, I'm ready to head back too."

Stunned, the four close friends look at each other. In defeat, Ruby lets out a deep sigh. "Yeah. Fuck it; me too. Let's head back to the camp."

Ruby lets loose a loud whoop while jumping into the air. But the mood would not last.

In that moment, Gwen walks into the park, and her expression says it all. "Gwen! How did the meeting go?"

"Welp, we don't need to worry about budgets anymore." She says; of course, everyone took that in a positive way.

"Oh, that's great!" David replies happily.

"Because we've sold the camp."

"What?" Literally every camper asks simultaneously; this couldn't be happening right now!

To make matters worse, QM walks over with an empty leash at his side. "What'd I miss?"

"Merely to break away from this revelation, where's Space Kid?" Nikki asks, looking around.

A long moment of silence answers the adventurous girl.

* * *

 _AN:_ All right! One more chapter down, and this was one of my favorites (since it's all a Screwattack and Gameattack-themed chapter).

Now, for those who try and attack me for liking Death Battle, forget it. That show represents my whole adolescence, so trying to point out its flaws or the occasional bad episode will be pointless.

Anyway, see you all next chapter with the end of season 3 of Camp Camp!

*When you hear him talking, imagine Craig Skistimas talking.


	13. Revenge of the Campers & Reconciliation

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"You can't be serious, David!"

That is only one of many cries of outrage the main campers of Camp Campbell start shouting at David with the Quartermaster at his side. Once the news that all the campers would be sent away to a different camp, everyone instantly became outraged and tracked the man down, finding him near the front entrance of the camp.

"Please. I need everyone to calm down and ask your questions one at a time." David chides the campers, looking and feeling more panicked than even the time he stole QM's hook hand.

Harrison is the first to speak, being the most confused of the group. "I thought the Fun-Raiser was a success. If we need money, why not just have the Quartermaster beat you guys up again?"

David's panic fades and shifts to horror. He remembers how he had to break in his entire spare aloe stash just to help him and Gwen recover from their injuries. QM scoffs, amused by the idea. "If bludgeoning the counselors was a reliable source of income, I would gladly lend my assistance." David gulps slightly. "Alas, we do not live in a perfect world."

"How about we do something that doesn't involve bodily harm to David for once?" Ruby suggests, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

"Why are you just sending us off?" Nerris demands, sounding more hurt than anything.

"It's not like that at all, kids." David starts explaining, trying to put things as nicely as possible. "Camp Corp. has the money and resources to make sure you all still get the camping experience you signed up for."

While some campers buy the explanation, others don't like it at all.

"Fuck off!" Neil shouts, pushing his way through the crowd with Nikki and Max at his side. But what Ruby notices first is Max doesn't look interested in the outburst, merely defeated. "Don't try and put your positive spin on this, David! Camp Corp? That is some soulless big business bullshit if I've ever heard it."

"Yeah! You're just handing us over to the 'man!' Whoever he is." Nikki adds, her arms crossed tightly.

Ruby and Max just shake their heads at the rather weak comment. But in that moment, Gwen walks towards the group. Trailing behind her is a rather elderly couple who look like people Ruby could trust. But it's because of that Ruby glances at them rather closely.

"And these are our campers." Gwen is telling them in a higher tone than usual, probably due to stress. "Everyone, please say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Campwell."

"Hello there, children. It's an absolute pleasure." Mr. Campwell says, waving at the campers. Despite their seeming joy, Ruby feels really wary of them; after seeing QM's parties, she'd never put anything past older people, but she still holds a great deal of respect for them.

A moment of silence reigns, as none of the campers know how they should respond to this. Piss off? How are you? Where will we be going? So many choices to make. But it is Space Kid who steps forward first to speak to them.

"Are you our new mom?" Ruby slaps her forehead rather loudly at the question, despite understanding his confusion about the situation.

Mrs. Campwell kneels down so she's eye-level with Space Kid. "Oh, goodness, no, my little astronaut." She then pats his helmet slightly, making the boy frown deeply. "We may have founded Camp Corp, but you all will be cared for by our incredible team of counselors across the country." She even hands Space Kid a pink book that he instantly opens up and starts looking at.

"You'll finally be with other campers just like you at our various summer camps." Mr. Campwell adds gleefully.

The message is not lost on anyone. Ruby feels like her whole world has been shattered once more. "What?" She screeches out, hoping to whatever deity is listening at this is a sick joke.

"We will?" Ered asks, actually warming up to the idea.

"That doesn't sound too bad." Preston muses, also liking it. "Then I could have a partner to run lines with."

"Or enough players for a raid party." Nerris adds, smiling widely.

"Or a chance to finally be among zhose who are pure. Pure artists." Dolph now says, grinning widely.

As the campers start cheerfully talking about what they've just heard, the four friends realize the harsh truth that must happen as well.

"What about David and Gwen?" Nerf asks, hoping they too will be cared for. "Are they fired? That'd be hilarious!" So much for that thought.

"Oh! Heavens, no! Gwen's talents will be put to good use in our city headquarters. And David will be working as Camp Corp's camp counselor counselor. Right here at Camp Campbell." For some reason, Max caught a bitter undertone in the woman's voice, but immediately dismisses it.

"That's right! Camp Corp. is about being family friendly, cooperative, and never turning down a child who wants to go to camp." Mr. Campwell adds, showing them the form; it says exactly what he just said, no more and no less. "David is the perfect embodiment of those values. Plus, he loves singing camp songs."

Unfortunately, now all the campers have come to the same realization of what this means. Nikki is the only one bold enough to put it into words. "Does that mean… we all have to split up?"

It only takes three days for the second bus to arrive at camp so as to pick up the campers; the first one has already taken care of the kids at Site B. Once the bags are loaded up, the campers start filing onto the bus one by one. Three of the four close friends, however, stay behind. While Neil and Nikki look on with hesitation, Max just stares at David's phone with supposed disinterest.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but… I don't know if I want to go to Science Camp." Neil says, stress working its way into his voice.

"Yeah." Nikki adds. "What fun is adventuring without you guys?"

"Max, what do we do?" Neil asks, hoping for their friend to say anything.

Nothing; Max just keeps staring at the phone in his hand.

"Max." Nikki adds, looking rather hurt.

Max, however, says the opposite of what they want to hear. "Huh? Are you guys still freaking out about this? What's your problem?"

Ruby, as she's about to board the bus, freezes. She turns around and sees Max in a similar state of apathy when she first met him. Hoping to knock some sense into him, Ruby steps off and makes her way towards the group.

"Our problem?" Neil asks, more confused than angry.

"I don't wanna say goodbye yet. You guys are my friends. We're like a wolf pack." Nikki also says, hoping this would have some effect.

"Or a team of scientists peer reviewing a new study." Neil suggests.

"Or a wolf pack!"

"How about slayers of evil?" Ruby suggests once she walks over.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work. "Jesus, guys. Grow up. Did you think summer was going to last forever? It was always going to end this way. Camp comes to a close, you get sent home, you move on with your life."

"But there's got to be more!" Nikki interrupts.

"Look," Max continues, "we had a good run. But we were temporary friends at best."

Ruby just stands there, too shocked to say anything. Meanwhile, Neil won't have any of it. "Oh, really? That's all we are to you?"

"I mean, look, Neil…" Max tries to soften this, but the damage is done.

"No, no, no, you're right! Why would someone like you ever need a friend? You were fine on your own before we showed up. You'll be fine once we're gone." With that, Neil turns around and walks onto the bus. Ruby runs after Neil, trying to talk some reason into him, but he just pulls his arm away from her. "Look, if we ever were friends, then just shut up."

"Nikki, come on. You get it, right?" Max now tries with Nikki, but she too ignores him.

"Bye, Max." Now Nikki is boarding the bus willingly.

"Nikki, don't! Come on, we can make this up!" Ruby shouts, but the protests fall on deaf ears.

"You." Ruby then stomps over to Max. "You'd better get in there, and apologize to them."

The moment of seeming sadness is replaced with a deeply aloof look. "I have nothing to say to you."

In that moment, Ruby can almost feel her heart breaking into a thousand pieces. "But…" After a moment, she realizes she's lost the battle. She wipes away the tears on her sleeve and glowers at the boy whose stayed silent throughout the outburst. "Alright. You win. I hope you're happy." Ruby now turns around and walks onto the bus, the doors shutting behind her with an audible clang.

Ruby blinks three times; she now finds herself on her new metal pull-out bed, looking at the picture of her former camping companions. Upon looking at Max's angry face, Ruby grips the paper tighter than before and shakes violently. No matter how much Ruby tries to put that fateful afternoon which passed almost four days ago behind her, all she can feel is an overwhelming rush of sadness. She slaps the picture into her open trunk and slams it shut.

Letting out a long sigh, the young girl gets off of the bed and walks out of the metal shack that is her new quarters. She looks out upon the grassy plains that make up the camp. It is a really small camp, as few kids these days look to do this. It's mainly the long row made up of a dozen metal shacks made with bricks the campers built. Right in front of her, standing tall and proud, are the counselors' quarters, while many wood park tables are in the corner for when people eat their meals made God-knows-where, and spread out almost across the entire plain are the campers hard at work on a few projects, all varying in states of completion.

What catches her eye are that most of the campers are working together to set up a wooden outhouse. Ruby scoffs at that; compared to building Crescent Rose, an outhouse is borderline trivial; but after a centipede crawled out of the last bathroom's toilet, she agrees with the call to make a replacement outhouse mandatory.

"Good morning, Ms. Rose." One of the camp counselors, a burly man with greasy black hair and beady eyes named Tim, greets while walking over with a clipboard in hand.

"Morning, I guess."

The counselor frowns slightly at the reply. "Now, now, no need to get snappy with me, young lady. We're all in this together, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. What do you need me to do?" Right now, Ruby's just too depressed to argue.

Tim then holds up a large tin bucket filled with peanut butter sandwiches. "Hand these out to those who are working so hard to build us a better outhouse."

Ruby lets out another sigh and walks over to the group. "Hey guys, breakfast's up." While most of the campers instantly stop what we're doing to eat, a lone camper continues working. He is a dark-skinned camper named Willy, and from the whole time she's been here at camp, Ruby hasn't spoken to him once. The young huntress-in-training decides to walk over with one of the sandwiches in hand. "Excuse me, don't you want breakfast?"

Willy just looks up and scowls at seeing her; why, she has no idea. "No. We're falling behind, no thanks to you."

A small tick appears on Ruby's forehead, but manages to keep her newfound temper in check. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean no one takes this job seriously. You work all day, but never at night. You take breaks every hour to drink water and maybe have a snack. Then there's the weekends where we do nothing but sit around and play frisbee golf! If we're going to finish this by the end of the summer, we need to work now, and you're not helping." Willy replies in a hotheaded manner.

"Everyone needs to breaks once in a while. But I'm afraid I don't like that tone." Now Ruby is starting to lose her temper with the boy; blaming others for something that's not really an issue has always been a pet peeve of hers.

"Oh, shut up, ya stupid anglo girl! And get that piece of garbage out of my face."

By now, Ruby's lost it. "Look, you little miscreant. If you don't get that attitude fixed, I'm going to have to kick a piece of your ass!"

The campers gasp in shock; even Tim is mortified by the scene. "Ms. Rose! Did you just use the a-word?"

"Yeah? So what?"

"S-So…" Tim splutters in rage. "You will tell me where you heard those phrases right now!"

"Sorry, no can do."

"How would you like to be grounded for the day?" The campers gasp, surprised by the outcome.

"How would you like to suck my dildos, you puckered puss-head?" The campers look between each other, having no idea what that meant. The counselor, however, is now officially livid.

"Come with me, young lady!" He then drags her back to her shack and almost throws her inside. "Now, you stay in here until you've calmed down and are ready to talk about where you heard those obscene phrases. If we are all to be a team, we can't have you spouting phrases that confuse or make my campers uncomfortable." With that, he slams the metal door shut.

"Okay." Ruby then walks over to her bed and sits down on it. If this is what it means to be on a team, then she will have to cut back on strictness when she gets back to Beacon. On that thought, the young girl looks around the cabin. Her rather smelly cabinmate is absent, so at least she can think things through effectively. There are no windows in the room, the ground is solid concrete and the only way out is the door in front of them, with a near-neon red sticker on the back reading 'salvaged from Fort Knox in 1964' with a keypad and screen directly parallel to it but about six inches lower. Whatever that place is, Ruby doesn't care; she's just come to a decision that she's been putting off for far too long.

Now that Camp Campbell is shut down and her experiences there inevitably causing more problems, it's time to go home. Unfortunately, she'll need to wait until tonight in order to break out, steal one of the counselor's monster truck built from the scraps of a monster truck and pickup trucks, and return to her old camp. There, she'll find that dumb robot, BOBA, take the crystal back from it, and return to Beacon after picking up Weiss. At first, she was hoping to pick up Max and take him with her and hopefully give him a new life, but after what happened, that won't be happening anymore.

So, with that out of the way, Ruby begins planning her escape with scenarios of all kinds whirling through her mind. The first trick is the door. It operates on a lock system that works both ways, in the event of an emergency. While a bright red emergency button is built into the opposite wall of the cabin, she highly doubts that would serve her much, especially once word of what happened spreads. While Ruby before she arrives at camp would never have said such things and would have apologized immediately, she's not the same girl she once was. But shoving from that reflection aside, she'd have to somehow break into the counselor's cabin and get the codes for her residence; she'd need to find the serial number for it first. Then, once that happens, she'd then swipe the keys to the truck, his credit card in case more gas is needed, and drive back to camp. How will Ruby find camp again? She has no idea, but this camp felt like an hour drive from Sleepy Peak, so she'll figure that out when the time comes.

With a relatively thought-out plan in mind, Ruby goes back to her bed and sits down quietly waits. After who knows how long, a loud creaking can be heard and the vault door swings open ajar. Ruby, surprised, gets off the bed to look who it is. Tim leans through the doorway, an angry look on his face. "Someone wants to see you."

Ruby's whole plan slips from her mind from the sheer confusion. "Who is it?"

"How should I know? But as you're still on timeout, he'll have to visit you in here." Tim then walks away, and a moment later, the last person Ruby expected to see at all walks in.

"Hiya, Ruby." Max says, waving his hand. For some reason, he looks deeply troubled. Ruby looks towards her trunk, where Freckles is lying in wait and ready for action. "Nice place. Did you build it yourself?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ruby demands, then snaps open her trunk with blinding speed, grabs the gun and has it at his face.

"Holy shit!" Max raises his hands up in self-defense. "Fuck. Look, I know we didn't exactly part on good terms, but…"

"Bad terms?" Ruby is now shaking with rage, but keeps the gun pointed at Max's face. "You straight up ignored me! I trusted you, I stuck up for you when not even Neil or Nikki would, and all I got was a 'I've got nothing to say to you!' Get out of my life! Now!"

By now, Ruby's on the verge of breaking down into tears, but manages to stay as steady as possible. Max's normally aloof expression now turns to a pained one. "I know. I'm an asshole sometimes; I don't just like it, I wear it like a badge of honor. But you need to know that breaking friendships for me is so much easier than saying goodbye to people who are friends."

"I can smell you lying right now." Ruby replies, her voice starting to calm slightly. "Because if you cared so much about everything, then why didn't you join your own camp? Oh wait, there is no camp for shits like you. Why did you…"

"Goddamnit! Stop making this harder than it already is!" Ruby stops her rant and looks at Max. For the first time, she notices that he too is trying to keep it together. "I said what I said because I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to you. Hell, I didn't even have the guts to break things off with you. Why's that? It's because I care about you too much! You're one of the best friends I ever had!" He then falls to his knees and tears start falling down his face.

Ruby just stands there, too shocked to really say anything. Then the gun slowly falls from his face and clatters to the ground. Within a moment, she's hugging Max as tightly as she possibly can. The two just sit there on the ground for a long while, enjoying the moment. Ruby pulls herself away and wipes away the last of her tears. "Never do something as dickish as that again. Pinkie promise?"

Max looks at the pinkie finger, and instead of sighing in annoyance or anything he would normally do in that situation, he sticks out his own pinkie finger and wraps it around hers. "Promise."

Ruby then feels a sly smirk forming on her face. "Thank you, Max. I really want to believe that you're telling the truth right now. But how about this: if you break your promise, then you're going to be my next test subject for when I achieve my dream of building a missile launcher."

Max just stares at her with a deadpan expression on his face. "You're trying to milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?"

In response, Ruby starts laughing loudly, something she hasn't done in a long time and it feels so good to her. "Okay." Ruby replies, looking back at Max. "So, why are you here?"

"Oh, right!" Max then slaps his forehead loudly. "We're getting Camp Campbell back from Camp Corp. Once we've got all the campers back, then we'll find a way to blackmail the Campwells so hard that they will have no choice but to sell us back the camp, simply so they would never have to see us again."

Ruby smiles widely, liking this plan already. However, it slips a moment later. "Wait a second. Who's 'we?'"

"Well, I got here with QM, David, Mr. Campbell, and that white-haired chick whose been looking for you."

"…Am I ear-hallucinating right now?"

"Long story, and one we don't have time to get into. Do you have a distraction in mind?"

Ruby looks around before her eyes fall back on the filthy bed on the opposite end of Ruby's own bed. Lying under the bed is a familiar black metal rod with a gas can underneath. Instantly, she grabs the black tool and grins wickedly. "The kids here love these things."

She instantly runs out the door, with QM standing near the doorway to collect her trunk. Instantly, she points the flamethrower at a blue racing car nearing completion with three kids working on it. "Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!" Ruby shouts loudly, waving around the flamethrower with flames jetting out from the tip. Two of the soot-covered campers run for it, and the third tries to roll out of the way but accidentally pulls out two wood blocks holding the car in place and it rolls right on top of him.

"Ah! I've run myself over!" Ruby ignores the camper and continues setting multiple fires to the grassy field. Huge infernos erupted all around her as she sets fire to other projects, including the new outhouse. Willy, who was relentlessly hammering nails into the roof, screams loudly and falls face-first into a bucket filled with water.

"No! Our perfect symbiosis is ruined!" Tim shouts, running around in circles while the campers try their best to stomp out the flames.

The young girl somehow manages to stay out of sight and runs towards David before quickly hugging his legs. "I missed you so much."

David simply nods in understanding before she lets go and walks over to the bus with Max. QM is already sitting at the driver's seat and Mr. Campbell along with David start giving away binders that say 'Camp Corp. Counselor Curriculum,' to which the counselors look outraged. Ruby cringes at seeing it, reminded vaguely of the time she stole Weiss's binder and made it a 'Best Day Ever Activities' compilation.

But as soon as Ruby steps onto the bus, she is instantly tackled by a familiar white-haired girl. "How do you keep getting yourself into these situations, Ruby? And when did you shower last?" Weiss Schnee demands, pulling away from Ruby and looking at her.

Ruby grins and shrugs. "What can I say? I have a talent for it now." The two then take a seat near the front of the bus, with Ruby taking the window seat, Weiss sitting next to her and Max sitting in the row behind them. As David and a hastily-disguised Mr. Campbell make their way back to the bus and it pulls away from Engineering Camp, Ruby makes her choice. She pulls down the window as the campers try to recover from the carnage. "Before I go, maybe you should build a shower for yourselves sometime today!" She then laughs loudly before sitting back down.

Max lets out a sigh of relief, looking at a billboard and scratching something off. "Alright. So, where to now, Max?" David asks, sweat dripping down his forehead. The very idea of not only destroying every camp in sight but also screwing over the counselors as well so the Campbells campers can be recovered doesn't sit well with him, but it's a necessary evil.

"We're going to Magic Camp!" Max says, eyes gleaming with malicious intent.

As the bus arrives at Magic Camp, Max steps off to be greeted by the two counselors; to Ruby, they look suspiciously like the two ex-Camp Campbell counselors David had fired way back when. When Max, David, and a still-disguised Mr. Campbell walk inside to retrieve Harrison, Ruby looks to Weiss. "So, what have you been up to lately?"

Weiss smiles slightly at the talk. "Well, I obviously just keep in shape and I saw a movie on TV called 'Bohemian Rhapsody.' Since then, I've been listening to music from that era, from the movie's featured band Queen to Elton John. He's easily the best musician ever. Of all times." Weiss's smile then slips. "But it gets so boring sometimes. And, as painful as it is to admit it, I miss you sometimes."

Ruby stares at her friend before grinning widely before placing her hand over Weiss's. "Thank you. For looking for me."

"You're…" She then realizes the situation and pulls her hand away, flushed. "You dolt! You're filthy!" Ruby laughs at the reaction, which Weiss can't help but chuckle at.

Suddenly, a series of screams pulls their attention towards the main building that makes up Magic Camp. To their shock, the building is on fire and the magic campers, who are all wearing dark pants and blue shirts under black vests, dashes out screaming. A white tiger follows in pursuit of a pigeon of all things, with the terrified counselors trying in vain to put out the fires using flowers that shoot water, but the building collapses rather quickly.

Before the main quarters collapsed, David, Mr. Campbell, Max, and Harrison strutted out like nothing happened. David then pulls two more copies of the binders from out of nowhere and gives them away. As Harrison and Max make their way back to the bus, QM having already acquired his possessions and loaded them on the bus, Mr. Campbell and David stick around to see the counselors' reactions; even Ruby rolls down the window to hear. Needless to say, they are baffled.

"We have to learn all of this?" The female counselor asks incredulously.

"That's right." David nervously replies, causing the other counselors to nearly take a step back in shock. "As your camp counselor counselor, I've assembled a detailed and comprehensive study guide to help teach you everything I find to be essential to running a summer camp."

"He knows how to make a better pitch than you ever did." Ruby cheekily remarks to Weiss, who just scoffs at the burn and rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless.

"Twenty-seven of these pages are just campfire songs!" Weiss does a spit-take and stares out the window with much more interest for this world's version of Jaune. "Who on Earth can memorize all of this?"

"That… would be him." Mr. Campbell replies, jabbing his thumb at the young counselor. Then the duo make their way back to the bus on hop on. "Study hard, counselors! We'll keep Magic Camp closed until you send us your written exam." The glass doors then slam shut and the bus is on the move once more. That is, until it stops at a stop light.

"Oh my gosh!" David exclaims with…enthusiasm? "I can't believe that worked!"

"Well, Gwen supplied the ID badge, Campbell supplied the ability to lie with no remorse." Weiss scoffs, already wanting to get away from the middle-aged con man as soon as possible.

"Let's not forget that your military-like destabilization tactics." Campbell replies with a wide grin. "And Davey's insufferably high standards for fun." Upon that, David lets out a sigh of happiness.

"Aw, thanks, Mr. Campbell."

"But let's not forget that Ruby over here sure knows how to work with flamethrowers." Max adds, looking back and genuinely smiling at his friend. Ruby also smiles back, feeling elated. Then the group realize what they've gotten themselves into, and blink. They instantly look away from each other.

David coughs slightly to clear his throat. "Right. Touching." Mr. Campbell finishes, leaving the conversation in an awkward silence.

Meanwhile, Harrison is absolutely confused. "What is Samboy Kidwell doing here?"

Weiss gags slightly, not expecting the question. In turn, she looks at Ruby in confusion. "Long story. One for a day when we're not needing to go all out for."

"Yeah. Shut up, Harrison." Max replies, scowling at his fellow camper. "Good to have you back." He adds, pulling back up the clipboard with Ruby can now see has a list of names on it. But what makes Ruby feel touched is that her name is that the top of the list.

"So, can I please be a part of what happens next?" Ruby asks, hoping to cause some hayhem and show Weiss what her summer has taught her.

Over the course of the day, the bus visits a new and unique camp. The first camper they pick up is Nerris, and Ruby with Nerris's and Max's help had a little too much fun with a matchbox they found on the bus.

Next comes Ered, with Ruby and Max going out into the jungle of half-pipes. Ruby suffers a pretty serious crash on a poorly-made spare skateboard she stole from a nearby storage unit and would have broken both her legs had she not used Aura. Thankfully, Ered misses her friends who were replaced by competitive campers who have a near-fetish with screwing each other over. Needless to say, Ered readily rejoins them and Ruby got to get some revenge via using the last of her flamethrower juice to burn up one of the support pillars.

After that, Weiss demands that Ruby stay on the bus for the rest of the day to recover while Max, David, and Mr. Campbell went out to pick up Preston. His camp is set up to bear a remarkable resemblance to a coliseum and the "arena" is made up of wooden platforms and tons of various sets from medieval castles to grassy fields. When Ruby hears of the fruit fight involving tomatoes Max and Preston got into to convince Preston to come back, the girl nearly sobs, and thinks that, just like raspberry wielders are dealt with using starved tigers, great white sharks are best for dealing with tomato-wielding attackers for some reason.

Then comes Dolph. When they pull up to his camp, all of their eyes bulge at the site; Dolph was sent to a Wood Scouts camp! But unlike the shabby Wood Scouts camp on Lake Lilac, this camp used to be a maximum-security prison. Max found Dolph in the middle of training with fellow recruits; since the short boy didn't get the chance to pursue his dream of being an artist here, he helped Max blow up the camps' weapons depot and give them their camp cirriculums. If Weiss did not restrain her so harshly, Ruby would have helped screw them over harder when she heard these were among the people who tried to kill her in the time she spent with Sex Swing.

Even compared to Dolph, Space Kid did not need much convincing to rejoin camp. Partly because he missed the camp machine Ruby helped build for him where he would spin in circles at ridiculous speeds, but mostly because they constantly exclude him from camp activities due to his… intelligence levels. Really, the choice is made as abrupt as pushing a red button.

But one of the biggest surprises of the day is how Nerf needed the most convincing of all the campers. Nerf is that exactly at the camp he wants; a Mixed Martial Arts camp where he can exert his anger issues at will. How Nerf had no idea rules have to be followed there, no one will ever know. In the end, he too joins Max's effort and helps incinerate the gymnasium that doubles as a camp.

"That's…almost everyone." Max exclaims happily, crossing off another name on the board and looking up at the crowd. Ruby is still pouting about missing the chance to get involved in the tomato fight, but manages to keep it quiet.

"Just two names left." David says happily, pointing at the board. In that instant, Max's happy smile drops to nil and looks down, depressed. Ruby hears the conversation and knows instantly what's going, and frowns as a result. Weiss notices the look and wonders what's going on.

"You know, my favorite part is the look on all the counselors' faces when you mention the test, Davey. They're all like, 'Whoa, what?'" Ruby does snicker slightly; their reactions are pretty priceless.

"Well, my favorite part is seeing just how much fun you and Max are having together." David replies. "You've sure helped bring out his natural talents." Weiss just stares at David; this guy is like Jaune but overdosing on happy pills.

"I **was** voted 'Worst Influence' at Super Guantanamo's yearbook signing party." Campbell replies, pointing to himself with glee.

"What's that?" Weiss asks, already tired of being out of the loop and why the campers keep calling him 'Samboy Kidwell.'

"Mr. Campbell was in jail, disguised himself as a camper named Samboy Kidwell so he could push charges on some other unfortunate sap, and has apparently been living with bears for almost two weeks now." Ruby answers quietly. Weiss blinks; this con artist is the worst!

"Aw, what's wrong, kid? We've done impressive work here! You should be happy."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it." Max replies bluntly; the campers all know that it's not that simple, but in that moment, David's phone starts buzzing. Max picks it up instantly and presses it to his ear. While Ruby can't hear who is on the other end, she has a pretty good idea of who it is and what it's about. David and Mr. Campbell remains silent, also listening in to the conversation.

"On top of it." Mr. Campbell replies to whatever Gwen says on the other end. "I worked it up myself." Then some more instinct chatter results. "Oh, don't you worry. Cameron Campbell can't legally own property anyway."

"Why did he refer to himself in the third person?" Weiss asks Ruby. The younger girl just shrugs and moves on.

"All that's left now is to get Nikki and Neil." At that, Max looks sullen once more. But in response, Gwen says something else that causes all three of them to look at each other in concern.

"To the city we go." QM says from the driver's seat, then swerves the bus to the left, causing a nearby motorcycle to smash into a moving car to avoid getting hit. "Gonna get me some fucking uterus pumping while I'm out, let me tell you."

Nobody has any idea what that means, but Max and Ruby still cringe nonetheless. The drive back into the big city is relatively quick, and within seconds, the bus stops in front of Camp Corp's headquarters.

Everyone gets off the bus and walks through the strangely abandoned lobby and reach the nearest elevator doors. Max looks at the doors with a distant and sad look on his face. Ruby then walks up and takes his hand in hers. "Hey. You got this."

Max looks at Ruby is surprise, Weiss nearly squeaks at the exchange, David grins widely, Mr. Campbell gags silently while the other campers are confused by what's going on. "Yeah. Let's fucking get Neil and Nikki back." But as Max pulls his hand away and walks towards the doors, they swing open to reveal a surprisingly well-made elevator with wooden panels lining the walls and a painting in the back that looks suspiciously like the excursion the main quartet stayed at with David during their first outing to Sleepy Peak. But standing in the elevator are a well-dressed Gwen, next to Neil and Nikki. Max, trying to make himself out to be bigger, puts on a sheepish grin.

Neil and Nikki, however, notice Max instantly and their faces of confusion turn to aloof looks that don't suit them at all. "Hey. Long time, no see." He then holds his hand up, expecting a high five; what he gets in return are cold stares that could have froze Hell itself over. "Heard you both started a little bit of mayhem at your camps. Guess I'm rubbing off on you two, huh?" He then bumps Nikki with his elbow, trying to get a reaction out of them.

"Oh, look, Nikki. It's our temporary friend, Max." Neil then looks away.

"Yes. The friend of ours who isn't permanent. Quite." All eyes are now trained on Max, wondering why things are going the way they are. Ruby, however, looks at Max with pity rather than confusion.

"Come on, guys. Things are going to go back to the way they were. I promise." Max replies, giving a thumbs up. Ruby looks at Max now with a sad look. "I've got a plan."

"Interesting. I'd figured you'd have moved on with your life by now." Neil answers snidely.

"I will also add a sarcastic remark as soon as I can think of one."

Ruby rolls her eyes. "Guys, we don't have time to talk about this. We need to get moving." Ruby steps in, knowing that time is against them.

"The hell are you doing siding with Max for?" Neil demands loudly. "After the way he treated us, just how?"

Their conversation is interrupted by a loud dinging of an elevator. The second elevator opens up to reveal the Campwells. "Oh. My." Mrs. Campwell exclaims, holding her hands to her mouth. Mr. Campwell laces both hands on his hips and looks at the group with an imperious expression.

"David!" Mr. Campwell says as they walk out of the elevator and towards the group. "Gwen! I hope you have an explanation for all of this."

David understandably gulps and dread, stepping forward slightly. "Mr. and Mrs. Campwell. We appreciate everything you did for us and the kids. But we're not sure it's for the best anymore."

The Campwells looks at each other with concern before returning their attention to the group. "But… weren't you children happy at your new camps?"

All of the campers look at each other with uncertainly before expressing their dissent. Once they were done, Ruby pipes up, "my campers are all happy happy joy joy and they tried to shut me out when I tried to help them in my own way. So yeah, screw them."

"Which is why we're asking you to return Camp Campbell. So we can give our campers the summer they deserve." David finishes, holding his arms out to his sides.

The Campwells, however, remain adamant. "Well, hold on there, sonny. We acquired your camp because you two couldn't afford to keep it."

"And that's exactly why you'll also be making a charitable donation to our cause." Max adds, walking forward. Ruby's eyes narrow at Max; what is he thinking?

"Pardon, little boy?" Mrs. Campwell asks, not sure if she heard him right. Oh boy, was she wrong.

"Like David said, we appreciate all you've done for us. Accepting us as your family without a second thought. But every family has problems; and we're hell-bent on being yours." He then sneers up at the counselors; Weiss has to admit seeing him now that he almost seems creepy.

Mrs. Campwell asks, finally realizing what Max is implying. "All the chaos at our camps…"

"Chaos? That's a regular day at Camp Campbell!" Ruby then flashes the older people a big toothy grin and holding up her index and middle fingers. "And now, a regular day for you two." He then points to them in challenge.

"What?" Mr. Campwell demands, horrified. "You can't threaten us."

"Oh, but I can. Because you're friendly, cooperative, and you never turn away a child who wants to go to camp. So, without Camp Campbell, we'll just be forced to re-enlist at your camps. Again. And again. And again." His eyebrows at his point have reached his forehead, but the message is loud and clear. Ruby nearly shudders, feeling bad for the choice presented to the elderly couple.

A moment of silence passes. "You know, maybe you people don't embody the Camp Corp. values, after all."

In that moment, the disguised Mr. Campbell walks forward while holding up a certificate and a pen. "How very observant." All of the campers' eyes widen dangerously; what is he up to now? "It looks to me like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Your precious values, and these delightful hell-raisers." Ruby pouts slightly while Max smirks at that comment. "Or… you could just hand over the camp over, sign all your problems away." He then holds out the paper.

Mr. and Mrs. Campwell look at each other, and let out simultaneous sighs of defeat. But in the end, they sign the sheet.

Everyone starts whooping in triumph, with Ruby briefly bouncing around happily. Weiss, however, just stares at Campbell with crossed arms and an imperious look. The moment of triumph dies down when Campbell starts laughing maniacally.

"My revenge is finally complete!"

"Johnman Radcamp! What did we ever do to you?" Mrs. Campwell asks, perturbed. Weiss just slaps her forehead, not believing anyone actually fell for the disguise.

"No, you idiots! It's me!" Campbell shouts, ripping off his disguise. Ruby blinks, not believing how bold he's become so quickly.

"Whoa! No way!" Space Kid exclaims, holding his helmet in shock. Gwen and Weiss hear that and they simultaneously slap their foreheads.

"You do this often?" Weiss asks.

"What do you think, you little shit?" Gwen replies, then looks at Mr. Campbell in rage. "What the hell did you do, Campbell."

Campbell turns around, a triumphant look on his face. "Cameron Campbell didn't do anything; but Johnman Radcamp just acquired full control of Camp Campbell and enough money to sail away for good. That is why you always read the fineprint, suckers!"

The campers look up at Campbell in horror; even Weiss, as this guy's dealings remind her a little too much of how her father handles business.

"Mr. Campbell!" David chides, trying and failing to make himself more intimidating.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Campwell just shakes her head in disappointment. "Oh, little Cameron. You still haven't changed, have you?" Now the campers look at the older Campwells with interest; they seem to share a deeper history than they previously believe.

"Up yours, Mariel! You and Clark never believed in my ideas." Cameron replies, angrier than he ever was before. Not even when he tried to frame David for all of Mr. Campbell's crimes.

"Wait. But I thought you guys betrayed Campbell." Max starts, trying to make sense of the situation.

But it only seemed to anger the Campwells. "Betray? Is that what he said? You were the one who pushed us away when we said your ideas would only lead to trouble."

"You helped us build Camp Corp., but your greed only helped yourself." Mrs. Campwell replies bitterly, "At the expense of everyone around you."

"Sounds like Campbell alright." Ruby remarks, glaring up at Cameron.

"Well, I didn't need you. I did just fine before I met you, and I was fine when you were gone. I was Generic Hiking Magazines' 'Richest Outdoorsman of 1994.'" Campbell finishes his tirade while glowering at the former associates. But his words left another effect on a certain friend of Ruby's.

"Aw, fuck."

"Language!" David and Mariel Campwell exclaim at the same time.

"I'm…I'm sorry." He starts, turning to Neil, Nikki, and Ruby. "I didn't go to all this trouble for Camp Campbell. I did it for you guys. Because you're my friends, and I just didn't want to admit it. Because once the time comes for us to actually say goodbye, I'd have something to lose. But you know, trying to go through life all on your own seems pretty fucking stupid now." He then looks up at Cameron, the message clear as day.

"Oh, what? Am I supposed to be big bad example here?"

"We did everything we set out to do by working together, and had some fun doing it. But, everything fell apart only when you pushed everyone away." David says, coming to terms with who Mr. Campbell really is.

"Yeah. And won." Said man exclaims proudly.

"Won what exactly?" Gwen deadpans.

"I got my life back! I'll leave this country behind and go anywhere I want. Just not Thailand. Or Russia. Burned, all the bridges with North Korea."

"With all that money, you could just buy some new friends who will eventually hate your guts too." Max adds, shrugging.

"I-I mean…" Now, the older con artist has lost the words to bite back.

Max just sighs in relief. "Well, I guess this is goodbye. I just wanted you to know that, I'll miss you. And I'm sorry we couldn't be friends longer."

Neil, Nikki, and Ruby look at each other before smiling widely. "Don't be such a dummy, Max." Nikki reassures him.

"Yeah. We might never see each other again, but we'll always be friends." Neil adds.

"Aw." The Campwells exclaim happily.

"Group hug." Dolph suggests. Weiss's indignant reply come too late before she gets caught in the middle of a hug involving David, Gwen, Ruby, Max, Neil and Nikki.

The brief moments ends when they hear the bus roaring to life. "Campbell's gone." QM says, walking into the lobby. Everyone runs outside to try and stop the con man, but Mr. Campbell pulls away and leaves them all in the dust.

"Well, that's typical." Ered remarks as they all watch the bus drive on. Suddenly, David's phone starts to ring; Max picks it up and blinks in surprise when he sees who it is.

"Um, David? Your phone." He then gives the phone to the 23-year-old counselor to the counselor to promptly accepts the call.

"Hello?" He asks, then listens to what the person on the other end has to say. While none of the campers can hear whose on the other end, they all have a pretty good idea who it is. "Mr. Campbell? I don't know. I mean, does that time you asked me for a dollar…" He then falls silent as Campbell continues talking on the other end, making David jump slightly. "Mr. Campbell? What are you going to…?"

Just then, the phone is flipped off and the call ends. "So, exactly how are we going to get back to camp?"

No one knows what to say, but then a loud crashing noise brings their attention to, in Ruby's case, a very familiar purple van on the corner. "Oh, yeah. Just follow my lead, and I'll introduce you to some old friends of mine."

After a brief talk, and a considerable amount of bribing and threats of neutering, Sex Swing took all the campers back to Camp Campbell, now reopened.

And after that eventful day, the next one is even more exciting. Everything is almost back to normal, Mr. Campbell has turned himself in, the former school bus has returned to camp grounds, and everyone is in the middle of a water gun fight. At least, the closely knit quartet are highly involved; Weiss had apparently nearly accidentally killed her hotel's manager so she got booted, but despite Ruby rubbing off on her, still doesn't want to get too involved in camp activities or get to know the campers. No, she's too busy on her Walkman intently listening to some song by Elton John about a mock band led by some lady named 'Bennie?' Ruby can't help but wonder whose Bennie and what do electric boobs have to do with anything?

"Hey. No human shields!" Neil exclaims at Max's use of Space Kid to defend himself. Ruby is at Max's side, ready to fight back at a moments' notice.

"Space Kid's an inanimate object at best." Max replies.

"Don't forget expendable." Space Kid adds, somehow happy with all of this.

"Now, kids. Play nice." David chides the campers, only for all four to spray David in the face simultaneously.

"We'll never conform to the man!" Nikki shouts while spraying a now-miffed David. They all laugh and start chasing each other once more.

"Max… Ruby…" David starts with a slightly dangerous tone. The duo look up at him, not sure what to expect. "Glad to see you two having fun together."

They look at each other with a slight blush. "Don't push it." Max replies, holding up his gun.

"Come on! They're getting away!" Ruby shouts, chasing after Neil and Nikki as David returns to the counselor's headquarters. Ruby laughs loudly but doesn't look in front of her and accidentally crashes into Ered. "Sorry." She then hits the older teen. "You're too slow." She then rejoins the chase.

As if enough interruptions haven't occurred lately, everyone stops upon hearing the sounds of a vehicle making its way towards the camp, knowing that it can't be anyone they're expecting.

"What the hell are we doing here?" They all hear Mr. Campbell exclaim in horror. Even Weiss pulls out her headphones and runs over to the source to find out what's going on. "You two said we're going to the park!"

"What the hell is going on?" Neil demands, baffled.

"While I wouldn't use your choice of words, I quite agree with you, Neil." Weiss admits.

"Hey, dads." Ered replies, giving them a brief salute. Ruby gags slightly; were those her dads? She felt like she should have known that, but she was too high at the time.

"Hi, sweetie." Agent Miller replies; Weiss still shakes her head in amazement, as they sound exactly like one of her teachers at Beacon.

"We understand you all have been through a lot in the past few days. We heard all about it in Mr. Campbell's detailed confession. Which he told us willingly after turning himself in." Agent Miller adds.

"We've realized he isn't quite the criminal mastermind we once thought he was. Really, he's just kind of an idiot."

"An idiot that could still do some good in the Sleepy Peak region. The kind of good you get after several thousand hours of community service."

"But… is jail still an option?" Campbell asks, not wanting anything more to do with this camp and its inhabitants. "Seriously. How could you honestly expect me to run this camp again?"

"I think you're misunderstanding."

"You're going to be taking orders, from him."

Everyone looks in the direction of where he's pointing, and karma dictates that it is David. "Now it's perfect." He exclaims happily, holding his hands to his hips.

"Welcome to camp, asshole." Max adds, sneering widely at the implications and possibilities this might have.

"Oh, fine." Mr. Campbell sighs, hanging his head; the Millers slap each other a high five and a slap on the butt before getting into the car and driving away.

* * *

The day passes like a Mustang in the fast line; everyone continues their daily activities of having fun, with David and Gwen happier than they've been in a long time, mostly because Campbell is first being tasked with skinning potatoes for QM and tasting his meals for dinner, which is the biggest feast of multi-cultural foods. Even Weiss is amazed at the sheer amount of food they manage to procur, most of it stolen from the Flower Scouts' vast food deposit.

To add insult to injury, everyone gets involved in a food fight of epic proportions and spend the night dancing and singing campfire sings while David strums a guitar. Ruby shows off her extreme sweet tooth and snags five smores sandwiches before Nerf manages to steal them back. Weiss even decides to loosen up considerably and talk with Neil and Nikki about the things they do or like, and even found a sample of their many adventures together throughout the three months they've been together.

Laughter and cheer fill the air; all is right with the world. But Ruby stays behind to finish eating her sixth smores sandwich; Campbell has been set to work cleaning up the camp and the bus is the first stop; even after three months, it still smells like bacon. She gets up and walks back to her tent to get some rest, but Weiss is standing in front of the doorway; she tries to make herself look determined, but even she looks saddened. "Weiss. What's going on?"

She sighs. "Ruby, we need to go."

"Where?"

"Where do you think, you dolt? Beacon."

Ruby's jovial attitude drops and she looks at the ground. "We can't go home. I have my friends here, I don't know where BOBA is, I mean, with those, why should I try?"

Weiss, instead of barking back, walks forward and places a hand on her shoulders. "I get it. I can tell these kids mean almost as much to you as your own teammates. But you know you can't stay forever; sometimes, you have to know when to say no more, and move on with your life. Besides, who says you can't come back one day?"

"Can I say goodbye?" Ruby asks quietly, tears rolling down her cheeks now.

Weiss sighs once again. "No. Then they'll know something's up, and try to stop you. Besides, summer's almost done. What are you going to do once it's over? Where will you go? We have no identities here, no way to do anything without raising attention to ourselves."

Ruby looks down at the ground, watching the tears hit the ground silently. Deep down, she knows Weiss is right; but it's still a difficult decision. "Alright. Let me get dressed, and I'll meet you at the bus so we can find BOBA." Weiss nods and Ruby walks inside the tent. Fortunately, Nikki is off hanging out with Neil and Max, catching up further on the crazy adventures they've gotten into. Ruby hastily pulls off the clothes she's worn all summer and regains her original outfit, which took almost a half hour to put back on. Silently, she runs towards the bus using her semblance and stops at the entrance; Weiss is already there, but the robot Ruby built a long time ago is in her hands. "How…"

"It was just here at the bus. I deactivated it before it could run away." Weiss explains. "I'll hook it up to the wires inside, then we can go."

But as Ruby makes her way towards the bus, a loud, "What the hell, Ruby?" is heard. Cold dread settles on Ruby's face as she turns around; Neil, Nikki, and Max are standing there, looking confused but mostly hurt. "We just got the gang back together, and now you're leaving?"

"Yeah. What's gotten into you?" Nikki adds, perturbed.

Ruby looks at her friends. "I know, and I'm sorry, but this is for the best."

"Fuck that." Neil nearly shouts back. "You went to all this trouble to reunite us, and now you want to leave? We deserve an explanation!"

By now, Ruby's doing everything she can to not burst into tears again. "Guys, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before." She then looks down at the ground. "I'm…from another land. A world different from all of this. I didn't intend to come here, but I did. I have no identity here, no voice to make my own choices, and if my old friend or I stay, no parents to come either of us. Questions will be asked, and my staying here will only serve to put the camp back into jeopardy. I need to leave in order to protect you. All of you."

"Bullshit." Max replies after a moment. "If you expect us to leave you to your own devices, you're wrong. We've had some of the most fucked-up shit thrown at us, and we've pulled through. Why can't we do it now?"

"Because it's my problem." Ruby shouts, with the tears now streaking down her cheeks again. "One that I refuse to get any of you involved in because that's my greatest flaw; I care for people too much, I want to see the best in them. Leave me to figure out this. Please."

"No. No. I can't say goodbye to you. Not now." Max bites back, now crying himself.

Ruby then runs towards Max and pulls him into a tight hug for a moment, then she pulls away and stares into his eyes. "I'm sorrier than you possibly know that I have to leave, and goodbyes just suck shit. But for you guys, I will find a way to come back. I promise."

Neil and Nikki look at each other, trying to keep it together. "Alright. You'd better make sure to bring me back a proper napalm synthesizer whenever you can." Neil says.

"And a little cub for a playmate." Nikki adds.

Ruby just nods with a smirk, then looks back at Max who's still trying to keep her from going anywhere. "And Max…" She then leans in to give him a light kiss on the lips before pulling away. "Consider that my promise that I'll be back, and I'll find a way to take you to that new escape room, The Weird Place, as well." She then pulls away from a madly-spluttering Max. As she gets back on the bus, she turns around and looks at her friends one last time. "Goodbye." With that, the glass doors shut and Weiss finishes plugging BOBA directly into the bus. "Now, let's go home."

Weiss smiles at Ruby slightly and starts up the engine. Promptly, Ruby presses against the gas pedal while Weiss starts the engine, turns the bus around, and starts driving the bus down the road.

The girls hear something shuffling loudly behind them, but they ignore it and continue driving down the road, the Dust finally kicking in. The bus starts glowing loudly and it starts going faster and faster, bright yellow streaks of yellow trailing them. Both Weiss and Ruby start screaming loudly as the bus starts to feel extremely hot.

"My brains…are going into my feet!" Ruby manages to says between screams as they even pass through Sleepy Peak.

As they pass through the normally quiet streets, they also pass by a small group of incompetent people filming a commercial for their company, Contagion. Their CEO turns around to look at the bus that is zooming down the street. "Oh my God, a bunch of girls are driving a bus and could very well get themselves killed. How shocking. It's almost as shocking as the refreshment of Juicetown Juice."

In that moment, a bright flash of white light engulfs the front of the bus, and both girls shield their eyes from the light.

The next thing they know, a loud crashing sound is heard and people screaming in shock.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, I'm almost done. I must say, this has been fun working on, but sadly, all great things must come to an end one day. And unfortunately, the final chapter will be much shorter than this, so to compensate, I will include a movie-style omake at the end of something I want to include in the story but it never really fits anywhere.

And I think this is one of my more interesting chapters. Please let me know what you think in the comments and I look forward to writing the epilogue, an entirely original chapter dedicated to how much Ruby has changed since her first arrival.

See you then!

PS: Volume 6 of RWBY is now officially over. Who else was blown away (for the most part) by it? And gen:lock? Good God, the writing in that (especially for Boomstick aka Chad James) is so amazing.


	14. End of the Road

**3** **rd** **Person POV:**

* * *

"What is the meaning of this!"

To say the last three months have been stressful for one deputy headmistress Glynda Goodwitch would be the biggest understatement ever. Of all times. First, one of her own students, Ruby Rose, just disappeared without a trace. The next month was spent searching for the lost girl, with her older sister being the most grief-stricken and desperate to deny the possibility that Ruby was most likely dead after so long.

Things didn't get much better when Ruby's other living family members, her father Taiyang Xiao Long and uncle Qrow Branwen, showed up to help with the search, remaining on campus ever since. Though at this point, they're sticking around mainly to keep an emotional blonde brawler from going out of control.

Then things simply got worse of the headmaster and his deputy, whom is considering breaking into Qrow's stash for the first time in her life. Weiss Schnee disappeared a month ago, and now her oh-so-grand-father is trying to use every ounce of influence to launch an immediate inquiry into Beacon's ability to look after its students.

Finally, to top it all off, Ricka dePautain, the daughter of another high-ranking member of the Vale Council, has been raising hell and high water onto Beacon. She was one of the many students who was considered for entry into Beacon the year Team RWBY was formed, but she was ultimately rejected, and Ruby saved Ozpin time by filling Ricka's slot. The reason she was rejected? She supposedly gave her instructor a blowjob so she could get positive combat grades, and he decided to come forward about it; as to whether or not it's true is up for serious debate, but Ozpin decided he didn't want to risk it. But now that Ruby's gone and Beacon's under attack from the Vale Council, the aged headmaster had no real choice but to reinstate the young girl as the new leader for Team RWBY, and that soon, he'd send Qrow and Tai out to figure out what happened to the missing Rose and the Schnee heiress, with promising new leads uncovered.

The next day, everyone had gathered into Beacon's ballroom to hear Glynda's announcement about Team RWBY's newest replacement; to which Yang glowers at the human girl, and Blake's reaction is a mixture of curiosity and mild distain. But as she's about to make her statement about triumph and how she deserved to be here in the first place, a giant yellow bus comes crashing through the wall behind Ricka and sits there, the engine still running.

A moment of silence passes. Then the glass doors swing open, and out steps the last person anyone expected to see ride into Beacon on a school bus. "Ugh, did anyone get the license plate for the puma that just ran me over?" Ruby Rose, just as everyone remembers her, steps out of the bus while holding her head in her hands. Dead silence fills the stadium, with Yang slapping herself in the face, Jaune dropping the duffel of Nora's training equipment at his side. Ruby then looks up and notices everyone staring at her with amazement, confusion, and resentment in the rare cases. "Hey, guys. What's going on?" Ruby then waves sheepishly.

"Ms. Rose…" Glynda starts, dumb-founded, but Yang rushes past the deputy headmistress and instantly hugs Ruby tightly. She then lets go and looks Ruby over quickly.

"I missed you so much, Ruby." She then smiles brightly, only to recoil slightly. "And you smell terrible!"

"Yeah, I suppose so." Ruby replies, laughing slightly.

"That's it, dolt!" Weiss shouts as she too pulls herself out from the bus. "You are forbidden from helping to drive another bus on my watch. Ever again."

"Aw come on!" Ruby whines slightly, sinking lower; this revelation causes some gasps, but mainly greater confusion than before.

"Where have you guys been?" Yang asks gently, placing a hand onto Ruby's shoulders.

"Yes. We'd all like an answer to that." A haughty voice proclaims. Ruby looks at the new girl; she has bright green hair that touches her shoulders, brown eyes hidden by a thick pair of glasses that make her eyes look enormous, tattoos of strange designs coating both her arms, and two nose rings with a ripped tank top under a red flannel shirt and equally ripped jeans. Just looking at her makes Ruby feel nauseous for some reason.

"Who the…who are you?" Ruby demands; she really wants to swear, but her gut tells her to hold back for now.

"Ricka dePautain. I was going to join Beacon before you decided to destroy public property."

For some reason, Ruby feels dread at what she hears, but decides to humor the girl. "Oh, really? Whose team are you joining?"

Ricka's expression turns into a slight snarl. "I was going to take charge of my own team, but you've decided to ruin that for me."

In that moment, Ruby and Weiss figure out what's going on. Everyone expects her to explode in anger or challenge her to a fight, but instead, Ruby just places a hand on her hip and smiles sweetly. "Over my dead body."

The girl looks upon her with outrage and is about to grab something, no doubt to attack, Glynda steps in. "Enough! As Ms. Rose and Ms. Schnee have returned and the transition paperwork has not been completed, they will both be reinstated onto your own team. Ms. DePautain, would you please pack your bags?"

"This is bullshit!" Ricka screeches, stomping on the ground loudly. "I've worked for this role, and you give away a spot here I was promised to this…this incel? I won't stand for it!"

"Strange lady, isn't she?" Ruby asks Weiss, who only nods in agreement.

"You know what?" Ricka's eyes flash dangerously. "This is a school where only the best fighters can be allowed in. We have a conflict in roles. How about we fight over it?"

Yang's eyes flash red and she steps forward, but Ruby grabs her arm. "Fine. If that means you leave my team alone from now on."

"Fine. We fight today, in one hour. I look forward to making you suffer." With a sly smirk, Ricka walks away from the stage and everyone starts muttering amongst themselves.

It only comes to a stop when Glynda raises a hand. "You are all dismissed for now until the headmaster can give a final verdict." Yang throws Ruby a worried look before joining the crowd as they wander off and chat among themselves about the battle to come; Glynda turns to looks at Ruby and Weiss. "Ms. Schnee, you may join your fellow peers. Ms. Rose, we are going to see the headmaster."

Since there is no room for debate, Ruby shrugs. But as they make their way towards the hall, the doors open up and Ozpin steps through, closely followed by Ruby's father, Taiyang Xiao Long, and uncle, Qrow Branwen. "Ms. Goodwitch, I…" But then he notices Ruby and freezes in place, barely noticing the yellow bus smashed through the side of his school. The two adults also take notice and for the first time, Qrow nearly drops his flask.

"R-Ruby…" Tai stammers, not believing what he is seeing. Qrow isn't just better, just standing there with shock.

Ozpin is the first of the three men to formulate a sentence. "Ms. Rose, it's good to see you again. Ms. Goodwitch, where is Ms. DePautain?"

"That's what I was going to see you for, Headmaster. She decided to challenge Ms. Rose to a duel to see if she should stay in Beacon." Glynda speaks up, still trying to keep up with everything that's going on.

Ozpin then looks between Glynda and Ruby several times before sighing out loud. "Well, I suppose it would cause further problems if we sent Ms. DePautain away now."

"Oz, you can't be serious!" Tai shouts at the headmaster. "Ruby was here on campus first. Come on, Qrow, back me up here!"

To his immense surprise, Qrow just takes a swig from his flask. "Actually, Tai, I say let the duel happen. Remember, Tai, I trained Ruby so I have faith. Besides, kiddo, I want you to put that bitch in her place."

"Language!" Tai shouts at Qrow, who notices Ruby simply shrugging at the insult.

"Very well, then. I will send out the announcement that the match will occur today in an hour. Ms. Rose, I would recommend you prepare yourself for the match."

"Sure." Ruby replies.

But as she's making her way towards the showers, Tai runs over to his daughter and gives her a hug. "It's so good to see you again." He then lets go. "But I think that you do need a shower too."

Ruby pauses and decides to risk a sniff; only to let out a disgusted moan. "Okay, maybe you're right. Say, can you move my trunk to the locker room entrance? I've got some spare clothes in there."

Tai only nods and wishes Ruby good luck as she walks off towards the locker room. Apparently, many students have already guessed that the match would be happening, as rounds of various types of ammunition are scattered throughout the locker room. Ruby smirks.

Then, after a long and much-needed shower, she walks out and finds the trunk sitting at the locker room entrance. Looking around carefully, she pulls the trunk inside and slips back on her second outfit made during her Camp days; which somehow manage to fit her just right. Once done, she rummages through the disorganized chaos to find her first baby, Crescent Rose. But as Ruby looks at Freckles, she then looks at the corpse of BOBA, the robot being depleted of energy and nearly disabled. In that moment, Ruby gets the craziest idea ever, and rummages through the parts and trunk so as to add a new feature that would potentially turn the fight around.

Once she finishes, she tucks Freckles in the back of her shourts. In that moment, Ruby is as ready as she'll ever be. She makes her way through the locker room and towards the arena where the match will inevitably occur. Upon arrival, she is greeted by the sounds of loud chatter about the match, with Ricka standing in the center with a smug look. It then slips slightly when she notices the change in attire. "Who do you think you are? A super spy?"

Ruby scoffs slightly, holding Crescent Rose in front of her. "At least I'm not dressed like a hoe." Briefly, she notices Weiss in the crowd looking on with a slightly surprised look; Yang, on the other hand, is horrified by the outburst and the audience starts quieting down.

Ricka simply laughs. "It seems like you have a bigger spine than I thought." She then pulls out a rather large broadsword, easily as long as Ruby is tall, and holds it out to the side. Ruby simply lifts up Crescent Rose and gets ready.

"Are the combatants ready?" Goodwitch states once she steps onto the arena. Qrow and Tai are standing at the top of the arena stands, looking down at the arena with excited and concerned looks on their faces respectively. Ozpin is in the corner of the room, sipping on his coffee and looking on with interest. The deputy headmistress then lifts up her arm and thrusts it down.

In that moment, the two combatants charge at each other. Ruby swings Crescent Rose forward, but Ricka ducks under the blade and slashes upward. The silver-eyed girl then lets go of Crescent Rose, then once the blade swings safely past, re-grabs the weapon and swings in the opposite direction. This catches Ricka slightly off-guard, but still dodges the attack and headbutts Ruby. She doesn't expect the attack and stumbles back, clutching her face. Taking advantage of the stunning, Ricka charges forward and takes another swing at Ruby who flies onto her back.

Ruby looks up at the board and already notices her Aura's dipping into the yellow range. Luckily, she picks herself up. She then charges towards Ricka who simply smirks and also charges forward; but in a surprise maneuver, she drops onto the side of her right knee and slides between Ricka's legs, and after jumping into the air at the opposite side, pulls out Freckles and lets loose three shots. Ricka never saw that coming at all and took each bullet to the head, lowering her Aura into the yellow range as well. Ruby then uses the moment to grab Crescent Rose and wields both weapons. "Well, aren't you full of surprises?" Ricka asks, still smug. "But you still can't beat me."

"Really?" Ruby then folds Crescent Rose into sniper mode and fires a few quick rounds. "What do you say we up the ante? If you lose, you have to concede the match in a speech of my own writing?"

Ricka blocks all of the bullets with her sword, draining her Aura further. "Fine. Since you'll lose anyway, it doesn't matter."

She then charges forward for a direct attack, to which Ruby unfolds her weapon to defend, but the scythe is swatted out of her hands and Ruby barely has time to jump over the slash. Ruby can't help but notice that her opponent's attacks are becoming faster and much stronger; perhaps her semblance allows her to build up power the longer she fights. Not to mention, being majorly out of practice with Crescent Rose as a scythe makes melee combat something to be avoided at all costs.

With a plan formulating in Ruby's mind, she smirks; it might be time to start writing that speech in her head after all. Ricka notices this and her smirk grows wider, holding the sword at her side. But as Ruby reaches arms-length of the sword, Ruby lifts up the scythe and stabs it into the arena floor and swings over the opponent. Ruby then pulls out Freckles and fires another shot, hitting her and lowering her Aura into the orange range. "You think you're so smart, do you?" Ricka asks, then transforms her sword into an enormous missile launcher and fires.

Ruby lets out a small squeak of surprise and starts running away from the missile while her opponent stands where she is standing smugly. That is, until she starts to reach the edge of the arena. Realizing how she can turn this back to her favor, Ruby jumps into the air and activates her semblance to get behind the rocket. As Ruby suspects, the missile is a heat-seeking model and turns around widely in pursuit of its target. She then runs towards Ricka, whose arrogance is replaced with shock. "What the hell?" She shouts as she starts to run away too. But Ruby leaps over the other candidate and after turning around, fires her last shot from Crescent Rose at the missile. While Ruby's back makes a violent impact and she skids for a brief moment, the missile explodes and sends Ricka flying across the arena and off the field itself.

The second that she leaves the field, the familiar buzzer goes off. "This match is over! Ms. Ruby Rose is the winner!"

Many people, Yang being the loudest, start cheering loudly while those who supported Ricka, such as Cardin Winchester, just sit in their seats and groan loudly. Ruby look up at the Aura counter, and while she was in the mid-yellow range, Ricka is already in the orange. The silver-eyed girl lets out a wide smile, happy to be back at Beacon.

Her opponent stands up and glares at Ruby before sighing. "So you're not the little bitch I heard after all. Let's get this over with; what speech did you want me to say?"

Ruby's smile grows into a grin, borderline sneering; Ozpin notices this look and can't help but feel a little intrigued at what might happen. "Ms. Goodwitch, do you mind if I borrow a piece of paper?" The deputy looks surprised but nods and provides a slip of paper and a pencil.

A still-grinning Ruby takes the utensils, and writes down the idea; it is a mock speech she and her friends at Camp came up with and tried to force the Wood Scouts to say once they lost the Camporee, but never got the chance to do so. Once it's done, she hands the paper to Ricka who looks it over. And over. And over. Each time her mouth opens wider, her eyebrows rise into her forehead, and the dark eyes narrow. When she looks up again, her arrogance is replaced with one of horror. "You're crazy. You're absolutely fucking crazy!"

Ruby waves off the insult. "Where I came from, dirtbag, crazy is a compliment."

Ricka groans while ignoring the exclamations of surprise of Ruby acting differently than ever before, the loser's cheeks turning purple. "Hello, everyone. I officially like to surrender my place in life to one Ruby Rose. Also, I would just like everyone to know that I blow. And that I'm a boy. And I like to wear dildos under my thong, and I want to kiss all the girls."

A moment of silence passes before it is broken by Ruby laughing slightly. "This may be the best surrender of all time."

"Indeed, it is, you little shit."

"Thanks, Mr…." Ruby then freezes in place and looks at the audience stand to make sure she heard right. "Mr. Campbell?"

Cameron Campbell chuckles slightly, feeling everyone's eyes on him. "Thought you'd be rid of me, did you?"

"How are you here? You're supposed to be back at camp working out your parole!"

Campbell then glowers at her slightly. "And I would have, too! I was going to clean that son of a bitch and fell asleep in the back, only to find you and your prissy girlfriend there not only steal the bus but kidnap me as well. No matter, now I have a chance to restart my life clean." He then holds out his hand and a random student slapped a rather large amount of lien into his hands. "And with to this excellent start thanks to you Reddy, I will have a chance to become the world's Richest Outdoorsman once again!"

Ruby just stares up at the older man with a deadpan expression. "Screw you, Campbell."

Yang gasps slightly and Tai just stares down at the arena with slight horror. "Qrow?" He asks, holding out his hand.

"Here." He replies, giving the full flask without a second thought.

"So, Ms. Rose, I will leave you to reunite with your team. But don't let this day make you late for class tomorrow." Goodwitch states before walking towards Mr. Campbell, who looks around with fear and starts to make a break for it. All the while, the students start cheering loudly and some are even throwing their hats into the air.

"Yes, ma'am. Maybe I'll get drunk, get laid, or something. But I'll show these students how we campers fucking do things in the outdoors." Ruby mutters so no one can hear her. But then she sees her teammates rushing towards Ruby with open arms.

"Aw crap." Ruby lets her arms fall to her sides, and accepts her fate.

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, like it or not, I give you all the end of this story.

Thank you so much for the thunderous readings, favs and follows, and I will hopefully see you soon for my next big venture.

But before I go, here's the omake I promised you all. Enjoy! Inspired by a certain animated movie set in a redneck mountain town featuring the greatest shenanigans ever recorded on animation.

PS: Since Qrow Branwen is featured in this, it's time I got this message out. Vic Mignogna, I stand with you against the lies thrust against you; and if you manage to nail Monica Rial in the process, then you will have my respect.

* * *

"Alright, class, today we will be reviewing for our next exam." This is what Dr. Oobleck uses to greet his students during their next class. Many students, especially Ruby, groan loudly. "Which is why today, we will be experimenting with how we review for the exam. Through Jeopardy!" He then rushes towards a draped board and pulls it down to reveal the board. "The categories are: Legitimate Wars, that is where you list all of the legitimate wars in Remnant's history, Life of Brian, History of Potent Potables, and Great Horseman. Ms. Rose, since you're back so soon, you can start."

Ruby grins widely. "I'll take Great Whore Semen for 800."

Many students are stunned by the outburst while some, like Nora, can't stop themselves from laughing loudly. "Excuse me, Ms. Rose?"

"Oh dear. Let me get my special lenses." With that, Ruby dashes out of class.

Oobleck just shakes his head. "Whatever. Ms. Nikos, can you pick a category?"

"I'll take Remnant's Legitimate Wars for 400."

"Sounds good, Ms. Nikos. The answer is: What revolution in Remnant's history is arguably considered the one the good people and faunus of Remnant benefitted from?"

Pyrrha thinks it over for a moment before responding. "What is the Faunus Rights Revolution?"

"Good. Very good. As, Ms. Rose, glad… you're…back…" He then takes his glass and wipes them at the sight. "My dear, why are you wearing a fish bowl on your head?"

"Because all the cool kids do so." Ruby replies in an airy tone, now wearing Space Kid's stolen bowl over her head. This manages to get out some more laughs and a concerned look from her sister.

"Are you willing to take the game seriously?"

"Sure. I'll take Life of Brian for 400."

"Right, then. The answer is: By what name did the people revere the man known as Brian as?"

Ruby thinks it over for a moment before responding. "What is Brown?"

Oobleck just shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Ms. Rose, but that is not correct. The answer is Gray."

"Are you sure? I had a mighty dump on your textbooks this morning. And it was in your mother's handwriting too." Ruby then starts laughing in the most obnoxious way she can muster. Yang looks scandalized while Weiss simply blushes and shakes her head. Meanwhile, in the corner, a certain grey-haired asshole laughs his ass off at the insult while his team leader scorns him heavily.

Ooblack gasps. "You dare bring my mother into this? How would you like to go see Ms. Goodwitch right now?"

Ruby then pulls out a megaphone that she had tucked away under her seat. She flicks it and then starts speaking into it. "How would you like to suck my lady dick, Mr. Oobleck?"

Stunned silence, aside from the grey-haired teens fits of laughter. The professor, however, is livid at the remark. Ruby looks to her teammates then back at the teacher with a troubled look. "Holy shit, did I screw up. But yet, I feel inexplicably elated. Just you all wait, I will be the most diverse-mouthed Huntress you've all ever seen! You can bet your sweet asses on it." She then lets out a wide smile.


End file.
